Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Test
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . the highlight of your day is finding the prize in a Cracker Jack box.
. . . the auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts.
. . . you own a flamingo with buckshot holes in it.
. . . your third-grade class has a no-smoking section.
. . . your wife left you for last year's winner of the hog-calling contest.
. . . your flashlight holds more than four batteries.
. . . it took the smartest kid in your 6th-grade class three times to pass his driving test.
. . . you cut your wedding cake with a chain saw.
. . . you cut your toenails in front of company.
. . . a woman says she's game, so you shoot her.
. . . your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
. . . you ask for the honeymoon suite at the Motel 6.
. . . you hear a siren and your first instinct is to hide.
. . . you use a bedsheet as a sofa cover.
. . . you use the shaving cream made for tough beards . . . and so does your husband.
. . . you regularly see kinfolks on "America's Most Wanted."
. . . you refuse to slide in softball because you don't want to crush your cigarettes.
. . . the emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name.
. . . your car has more than two exhaust pipes.
. . . people come to your door mistakenly thinking you have an auto salvage business.
