Duck Hunting

Duck Hunting

Two guys went duck hunting. One drank a bottle and a half of whisky while the other kept watch.

After two hours, a solitary duck flew up. The sober man took aim but missed.

"Quick," he said to his drunken friend, "try and hit that duck."

The drunk waved his shotgun in the vague direction of the sky, pulled the trigger and hit the duck.

"That's amazing," said the sober one.

"Not really," replied the drunk. "When there's a whole flock you can hardly miss!"

Watching TV!

A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes:

 

Wife: Is that Bret Lee?
Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.

 

Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.
Husband: He does not have an actor brother.

 

Wife: What about Bruce Lee?
Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian.

 

Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.
Husband: No. It is called action replay.

 

Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta.

 

Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.
Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It's a free hit.
Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a Free Hit?

 

Wife: Now whom is he saying 'HI' to?
Husband: He is signalling a 'Bye'.
Wife: Why is he saying 'Bye. Is the game over?

 

Wife: How many runs to win?
Husband: 72 in 36 balls
Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball.

 

Frustrated husband turns off the TV. Wife turns it on and watches 'Saraswasti Chandra'.
Husband: Who is this Saraswati Chandra?
Wife: Don't you dare disturb me...

Watching TV!

A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes:

 

Wife: Is that Bret Lee?
Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.

 

Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.
Husband: He does not have an actor brother.

 

Wife: What about Bruce Lee?
Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian.

 

Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.
Husband: No. It is called action replay.

 

Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta.

 

Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.
Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It's a free hit.
Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a Free Hit?

 

Wife: Now whom is he saying 'HI' to?
Husband: He is signalling a 'Bye'.
Wife: Why is he saying 'Bye. Is the game over?

 

Wife: How many runs to win?
Husband: 72 in 36 balls
Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball.

 

Frustrated husband turns off the TV. Wife turns it on and watches 'Saraswasti Chandra'.
Husband: Who is this Saraswati Chandra?
Wife: Don't you dare disturb me...

The Frogs

A farmer came into chinese town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could sell him a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!" So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks. The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, "Well... where are all the frogs?" The farmer said, "I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!"
 
1- Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs.

 

2- Problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

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Things you can do help move on with your life

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with your sadness and loss, it’s hard to believe that your life will ever change, or you’ll ever be able to smile or laugh again. But the truth is you will – it won’t always be this bad – and there are things you can do help move on with your life:

 

Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.

 

1-Decide to face your pain.

 

An unresolved past never really goes away. You may think you have buried your anger and pain but the hurt is still there and it will surface later on. If you don’t face what happened, and the feelings it unleashed, you will end up being ruled by your subconscious mind. So try and find the courage to revisit all the pain.

 

2- Accept there’s nothing you can do to change the past.

 

What’s happened has happened, and what’s done is done. There’s nothing you can do to turn back the hands of time, or to rewrite the story so the ending’s happier. But you can change how you think, and you can start over again, and build a different future that’s not poisoned by the past.

 

3- Be grateful for the good times.

 

There’s usually something good that you can be thankful for. You don’t have to pretend that everything was bad – or write off any good times and happy memories.

 

4- Consciously let go and set your focus on the future.

 

Don’t let the baggage, or the failures of the past, affect your identity or self esteem. You are NOT what you did, or how you acted previously. You’re not just a product of what happened to you. You are valuable, unique and you have so much to give. You’re the author of your future; you control your destiny.

 

5. Remove your past from your future.

 

We all have a tendency to think that the past will morph into our future – and become our lot in life. But that doesn’t have to happen. The future’s a blank page. You can change your expectations – and work towards those goals. Instead, look hard for the exceptions – the times when things went right – and notice what you did that resulted in success. You still have those same strengths, skills and great qualities.

 

6- Be realistic and take small steps at first.

 

You can’t snap your fingers - and find that life has changed. Accept it will take time, and you will still have some bad days – but if you keep on going then the past will lose its grip.

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