Feb 27, 2010

PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!




Especially for the Ladies !
 
   PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING! 




 


I don't wax floors because ... 

I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt 
then I'll feel terrible

( plus they may sue me.)






Worth ( Story )

Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. The soldier asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring his fallen comrade back.

"You can go," said the Lieutenant," but don't think it will be worth it.

Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away."

"The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway.

Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company's trench. The officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.

"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded."

"It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier.

"What do you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead."

"Yes Sir," the soldier answered,

"but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say....

"Jim...I knew you'd come."

*******

Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it.

Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life........

*******

Dad's Contribution

In a family scene of warm evening the two young daughters
were having a discussion about family resemblance.

The nine year old daughter claimed “I look like Mom," and after a pause
added "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips."

The six year old said, "And I look just like Dad but I have light hair."

Then she turned to the mom and asked, "Mom, what does Dad have
to do with us being born, anyway?"

The nine year old interrupted, "Don't be silly, Amy,
Dad is the one who drove Mom to the hospital."

HEALTHY TRAVEL

The little old lady got on bus and seated herself right behind the bus
driver. Every ten
minutes or so the lady would stare at the bus driver and ask with loud
anxiety, "Have we reached Niagara Falls yet, Son?"

"No, lady, not yet. I will let you know," he replied politely , every time
she asked but with rising excitation.

A few minutes later, she asked again "Are we there yet, son? Have we
reached Niagara Falls?" *

Once again, he replied "No, not yet. I'll let you know when we get there!"

The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Niagara Falls, and finally
the town came into view.

Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the breaks, pulled over and
called out, "This is where you get out, lady."

"Is this Niagara Falls?"

"YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!"

"Oh, I'm going all the way to New York, son," she explained sweetly. "It's
just that my daughter told me that when we come this far,
I should immediately take my Heart medicines or I may die you know."

JESUS IN THE BATHROOM

A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven!"
 
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart!" Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
 
Little Johnny replied, "Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells: 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"



Sue Divine 
"Even Kings and Emperors with heaps of wealth and vast dominion cannot compare with an ant filled with the love of God."

THOUGHTS ABOUT LOVE

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in
return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.

Maybe we have to meet a few wrong people before
meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will
know how to be grateful for that gift.

Love is when you take away the feeling, the
passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that
person.

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be
and you just have to let go.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens
but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one
which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on
a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it
was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until
we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until
it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance
that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to
grow in their heart, but if it doesn't, be sure it grew in yours.

There are things you'd love to hear that you would
never hear from the person whom you would like to hear from, but don't be so
deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart.

Never say good-bye if you still want to try, never
give up if you still feel you can go on, never say you don't love a person
anymore if you can't let go.

Love comes to those who still hope although
they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been
betrayed, need to love those who still love although they've been hurt before.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,
an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to
forget someone.

Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for
wealth, in the end it fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it
takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

There are moments in life when
you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and
hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream, go
where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life
and one chance to all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to
make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you
human, enough hope to make you happy and enough money to buy me gifts.

Always put yourself in other's
shoes. If you feel it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too.

A careless word may kindle
strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a loving
word may heal and bless.

The beginning of love is to let
those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image
otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

The happiest of people don't
necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything
that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry,
those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only
they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows
with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of
your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were
crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you
die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Love is an unusual game. There
are either two winners or none.

If I could reinvent the alphabet, I would put U
and I together.

Love doesn't make the world go 'round, it makes
the ride worthwhile.

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of
a bench when there's plenty of room at both ends.

The most important thing a father can do for his
children is to love their mother.

RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' ADVERTISEMENT!


Madam :

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Lahore Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab ..  I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly.  I am playing hardly also.  Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller.  Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.  Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man.  I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly.  I am gay.  Ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft.  Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top.  That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits.  I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else.  Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything.  Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.  I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?  So I am taking things into my own hands everyday...  That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day... fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim.  If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab

Microsoft's 8 Worst mistakes.... Something interesting

Nothing in this world is said to be flawless. And in the same way, there is no person or company which has not made its own share of mistakes. Even the biggest of corporate giants have seen their own share of failures.

It's no different in the case of case of the software giant Microsoft. The world's largest software maker whose Windows operating system is present on almost world's 90% desktops, too has seen its share of failures.

The site Sherweb recently compiled a list of what it terms Microsoft's Worst Mistakes. Here's looking into when and where Microsoft went wrong


Internet Explorer 6
===================
Sherweb counts Internet Explorer too among Microsoft's mistakes. However, according to most other analysts it is IE6 which particularly gave users trouble. Some reviewers have termed the browser as the company's worst-ever browser. In May 2006, PCWorld rated IE 6 at no. 8 among the worst tech products of all time.

The browser is often criticsed for being vulnerable to malicious attacks, viruses and malware. According to security experts, IE 6 failed on several compatibility parameters with Web standards. Some reports claim that IE 6's design had a security flaw.

The version was also said to be unstable. IE6 didn't support CSS version 2, which makes it difficult for web developers to ensure compatibility with the browser. Also, many analysts believe that the IE6's domination for nearly six years helped rivals grow.

However, though some reviewers may have trashed IE 6, the browser still continues to lead in marketshare. According to recent reports IE6's market share in July 2009 stood at roughly 27.2%, ahead of IE7's 23% and Firefox 3's 16%.



Microsoft Vista
===============
Released in January 2007, Microsoft's new operating system Vista aimed to take hackers headon. The operating system was touted to be much ahead of its predecessors in terms of security.

However, most analysts and reviewers didn't agree with Microsoft's claim.

The security features were said to be no better than the previous versions of Windows. Also, the fact that Vista came with its own list of hardware requirements for the users too acted as a big dampener in the operating system's popularity.

Many analysts went on to claim that Vista ran slower on PCs than XP.

According to some analysts, many Vista applications ran slower than XP.

Basic file operations such as unzipping a file or deleting were also claimed to be slower.

As a result Vista failed to make a dent in the market. According to a Forrester Research (done few months), 86 per cent of corporate PCs continue to rely on the eight-year-old Vista predecessor Windows XP


MS-DOS 4.0
==========
Sherweb terms MS-DOS 4.0 (Microsoft Disk Operating System) as another of software giant's mistake. Launched in 1988, MS-DOS 4.0 offered several improvements over its predecessor DOS 3.3. However, with them were numerous bugs.

It extended support for drives larger than 32MB, an integrated disk cache, and a graphical file management shell. However, reports claim that the RAM Disk had serious flaw. Soon after its release there were reports of users facing issues of data loss and corruption.


Microsoft 2000
==============
Microsoft's big release Windows 2000 disappointed many on security ground.

Launched in 2000, the version was the last NT-based Windows release which did not include Microsoft Product Activation.

Windows 2000 introduced many of the new features of Windows 98 and Windows 98 SE into the NT line, however, it was widely criticised for compromising on security.

In August 2003, two major worms called Sobig and Blaster attacked millions of Microsoft Windows computers. The company had to incur huge clean-up costs. The 2005 Zotob worm was blamed for security compromises on Windows 2000 machines at the US Department of Homeland Security, New York Times Company, ABC and CNN.


Undermining Linux
=================
Another Microsoft mistake is its failure to gauge Linux strength. According to Sherweb, Microsoft may be ruling the world's destktop with over 85% marketshare. But when it comes to super computers, Linux is the clear leader.

According to Wikipedia, as of June 2009, Linux powered 88.6% of the world's most powerful supercomputers, compared to Windows' 1%. In December 2008, Linux powered five of the ten most reliable internet hosting companies, compared to Windows' one.

One of the key strengths of Linux according Sherweb is that it respects a user's essential freedoms; the freedom to run it, to study and change it, and to redistribute copies with or without changes.

Linux proponents claim Linux to be a more secure platform than Windows as its code are reviewed by so many people that it is easier to detect bugs


Windows ME
==========
Sherweb includes Windows Millennium Edition or Windows ME also in his list of Microsoft's Worst Mistakes. Launched in the year 2000, Windows Me was criticised by users for its instability and unreliability due to frequent freezes and crashes. PCWorld dubbed Windows Me the "Mistake Edition" and ranked it at No. 4 in its Worst Tech Products of All Time list.

There were also reports of users facing problems in Windows Me's installation and getting it to work with other hardware or software.

Similarly, reviewers blamed it for offering little over Windows 98SE, except the System Restore function.


Underestimating the iPhone
==========================
Another mistake Microsoft made according to Sherweb is underestimating Apple. The enthusiastic response to Apple's iPhone, fuelled Microsoft's hardware ambitions. And in November 2006, the company launched a rival to

Apple iPod, Zune. By the time Zune hit the shelves Apple's media player iPod had already attained an iconic status and over 70% marketshare. Also, during this time Apple was readying it's another big-ticket launch iPhone.

Though Microsoft managed to get four largest music labels to sign licensing agreements with it for Zune, the player just failed to excite customers.

According to reports, between the launch date and mid-2007 only 1.2 million Zune players were sold. In May 2008, Microsoft said that it had sold two million players since its launch.

According to Microsoft's recent quarterly statements, Zune revenues decreased $100 million, or 54% compared to the same quarter last year, due to falling device sales. While Apple saw a 3% increase in iPod sales over the same period.

The software giant is finally discontinuing all of its Zune models except for a new high-definition (HD) version that is set for September 15 launch.


Microsoft Bob
=============
Another of Microsoft's mistake, Bob was launched in 1995 to offer a game-like cartoon interface to provide a virtual experience, with programmes and documents represented by everyday objects.

Guiding users through animated pictures, Bob transformed the desktop screen into an image of a room with a desk, bookshelf, even a fireplace. On clicking the various items in the room Bob would start up the programme.

However, things didn't fell in place when it was marred by weak sales. Also, seven months after its launch, Microsoft released Windows 95 which took away the company's attention.

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer named Bob as one project "we [had] undertaken ... where we decided that we have not succeeded and let's stop."

However, some designs of the Bob cartoons are still used in Microsoft products like Bob's face was used in MSN Messenger as a Nerd Smiley. Bob figured at no. 7 on PCWorld magazine's list of the 25 worst products of all time. It was ranked number no. 1 worst product of the decade by CNET.com.

SIMPLE SOLUTIONS For ANNOYING PROBLEMS

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.



2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.



3. You can avoid arguments with the wife about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.



4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.



5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.



6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be too afraid to cough.



7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.



8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:



In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.