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Morning Sex Improves Mood Health

Want to kick start your day feeling healthy and positive? Look no further than the bedroom, suggests a new study 

According to the research, adults who make love first thing in the morning apparently not only feel more upbeat for the rest of the day, but also benefit from a stronger immune system. 

The study suggests that adults who begin their day this way are healthier and happier than those who simply opt for a cup of tea and some toast before heading out of the door. 

Not only does it make them less likely to catch a cold or flu, it can also improve the quality of their hair, skin, and nails. 

"Having sex in the morning releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving and bonded all day long," the Daily Mail quoted Dr Debby Herbenick, an American research scientist and sex advice columnist, as saying. 

Dr Herbenick, author of the book Because It Feels Good, added: "It makes you stronger and more beautiful too: Morning sex can strengthen your immune system for the day by enhancing your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection. 

"And it releases chemicals that boost levels of oestrogen, which improves the tone and texture of your skin and hair." 

Other studies suggest that the benefits do not end there. A study at Queens University in Belfast found that having sex three times a week could halve the risk of heart attack or stroke. 

Research from Nottingham University also revealed that men who kept up a regular sex life in their 50s were also at lower risk of developing prostate cancer. 

What women think While Having Sex

A Hollywood hunk, ex-lovers, a blue film scene and even what to buy in a grocery store—these are things that women think of while having sex. 

Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets. 

Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges. 

And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of. 

"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as saying. 

"I've been married twice and had many lovers and to be honest, with past lovers I've been so bored in bed, I've taken to compiling mental grocery lists and calculating exactly how many shoes are in the wardrobe (82 pairs)," said author Kathy Lette, 51. 

"Most wives are taken for granted. But how we'd like to be taken is by a muscular-thighed Adonis with pecs appeal. 

"Luckily sex with Johnny Depp is only the flick of a light switch away. Ah, Johnny - a man whose sex appeal is so deadly it should be registered at police headquarters as a lethal weapon. 

"Doing the horizontal tango with George Clooney is also amazing - if only he'd been with me at the time!" she added. 

Sarah Millican, 33, is in a relationship, and she said: "I never walk out of a film at the cinema. I'm the same with sex. I always think it might get better. To be honest, as long as I've got a bag of Maltesers, I'm not going anywhere."

The Art of Love Making

We all like to think we're good lovers, but in reality, most of us know there's room for improvement. After all, how we enjoy sex is integral to the quality of any committed romantic relationship. It's the thing that puts that twinkle in your eye when you look at each other the next day, because you both know you've shared something special together.

Some people are embarrassed to talk about lovemaking, especially with their partners. How the man or the woman views this experience, is often programmed into them from an early age by the perceptions of a parent or caregiver and confirmed through life' experiences. But like anything in life, if you want to achieve enjoyment and fulfilment from it, you must be prepared to talk about it.

Like any other art, you need to practice the art of lovemaking in order to become really good at it. In this regard, men and women have different perceptions of what being a "good lover" ia all about. If you ask a man, he will focus on technique and results, such as "she had multiple orgasms". But if you ask a woman, she will remember the setting and atmosphere leading up to the lovemaking. So if we want the most memorable lovemaking experience, we need to take both the above into account. The secret is to become creative. Music, smells, lighting and colours all combine to produce the most sensually arousing setting for the most memorable lovemaking.

The art of lovemaking is about intimacy and this comes from openness and trust. It is so important to communicate with each other. When you feel a heart-to-heart connection with your partner, your lovemaking can be pure ecstacy. So we have to learn to be honest and let your partner know exactly how you feel.

We cannot overemphasise the importance of for*play in the art of lovemaking. Sometimes we can be so focussed on reaching or*asm that we forget to simply enjoy the pleasure of lovemaking. Instead, we only experience frustration. This is especially likely when lovemaking no longer seems like an adventure of doing something different together. It becomes routine. But can you imagine having sensual for*play without actually having sex?

Men need to realize that woman want to be loved all over. You need to taste each other, touch each other, see each other, smell each other, hear each other. These are the five senses and if we use them all, it will not only draw you closer, you will also want each other more, leading to an explosive climax.

Then there are the "errogenous zones" - those pleasure zones in numerous parts of our bodies. Why does a woman sigh when a man whispers into his girlfriend's ear? The truth is, most men, as well as women, can become aroused when their partner pays attention to certain special spots beyond the genitalia. The key to for*play lies in the stimulation of the major and minor errogenous zones.

Sex, Lies & Deceit

Expert Dr Louann Brizendine has dived inside a man's mind and confirmed what most women long suspected: men are obsessed with sex, hide their emotions, and cheat. 

According to Brizendine, testosterone causes the "man trance", where blokes have to stare at bo*bs, reports The Daily Star. 

She says: "The best advice I have for women is make peace with the male brain. Let men be men." 

Some of the other findings in the expert's new book Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding Of How Men And Boys Think are: 

Men really are sex-crazed 
The brain's part inked to sexual pursuit is two-and-a-half times larger in males than females.

They're programmed to perv 
The testosterone drives what Louann calls the "man trance" - a glazed-eye stare at breasts. She says: "I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't." 

Men want more partners 
According to the book, men want an average of 14 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women want one or two. 

Louann says: "It's postcoital narcolepsy. During or*asm, males release a huge amount of oxytocin in their brains, and it is very sedating. It's not that he doesn't love you." 

Men lie more about sex
Biologically speaking, men are more comfortable lying to the opposite sex. 

for*play round the clock 
In case of women, for*play is everything that happens in the 24 hours before intercourse. For men it's what happens three minutes before entry. 

Louann says: "The male brain's initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female. But within 2.5 seconds his face changes to hide the emotion, or even reverse it." 

The expert doesn't reckon her book justifies bad behaviour. She says: "This is not giving men an excuse to ra*e and pillage. But men do have a right to give voice to their biological predisposition and have it come in to the dialogue."

Two Choices

Two Choices:

 

What would you do? ....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

 

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do; where is the natural order of things in my son?'

 

The audience was stilled by the query.

 

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

 

Then he told the following story:

 

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

 

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

 

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

 

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

 

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

 

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

 

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first base man's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

 

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitchers intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-base man's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

 

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

 

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay; run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

 

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

 

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

 

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyber space, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
 
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.' So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

 

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

 

You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward

 

May your day, be a Shay Day.

Multinational Branded Condoms

Dear Friends,

 

See what would happen to the Famous Advertising punch lines of all the big Multinational and National Companies if they start marketing condoms also, Their product's famous Advertisement lines would fit so very perfectly for their Condoms too, in fact much better than for their existing products.

 

AMUL Condoms :
"The taste of India"

 

LUX Condoms :
"The choice of Indian Film Stars for over 50 years"

 

PEPSODENT Condoms :
"Raat Bhar Dhishum Dhishum"

 

COLGATE Condoms :
"Yeh Hai Hamara Suraksha Chakra"

 

NOKIA Condoms:
"Connecting People"

 

MRF Condoms:
"Extra Rubber - Extra Mileage"

 

KFC Condoms:
"Finger Licking Good"

 

Moov Condoms:
"Aah Se Aahaa Tak"

 

MIRINDA Condoms:
"Zor Ka Jhatka Dhire Se Lage"

 

MAGGI Condoms:
" Sirf Do Minute aur READY"

 

DABUR {CHAWANPARASH} Condoms:
"Immunity & Strenght"

 

GODREJ {Hair Dye} Condoms:
"Kaato, Kholo, Lagaao"

 

SPRITE Condoms:
"Bujhaye only Pyaas..Baaki all Bakwaas"

 

TATA SKY Condoms:
"Isko laga dala to life Jhingalala"

 

THUMBS UP Condoms:
"Taste The Thunder"

 

COCA COLA Condoms:
"Live Condoms,Sleep Condoms,Dream Condoms but Only Coca Cola Condoms"

 

ROTOMAC Condoms:
"Sabkuch Dikhta Hai"

 

CADBURY Condoms:
"Asli Swad Jindagi Ka"

 

TAJ Condoms:
" Wah Taj, Wah "

 

MARUTI SUZUKI Condoms:
" The people's Condom "

 

RELIANCE Condoms:
"Think bigger " (What??)

 

NESTLE Condoms:
"Everyday"

 

INDIAN OIL Condoms:
"Extra power - extra mileage"

 

...and the last but not the least amusing:

 

POLO CONDOMS:
"The Condom with a HOLE "

 

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

 

Moral : - AIDS CAN BE PREVENTED BY CONDOMS

Playing The OTHER women in His Life

Have you thought about what it means to be the other woman in a man's life? Simi Kuriakose asks the experts to help you out 

There is always that one woman you can't help but notice. It's that demi-goddess we're talking about, who paves her way into the heart of that hot married man you cannot resist.While the reason why you are so irked by her could just be jealousy, you prefer guising that jealousy under the garb of the 'Other Woman to that man' being the home-wrecker. We do not blame you for pointing your finger on her. It's all thanks to the society's stereotypical thought. 

There is no harm in being attracted to a married man. Then again, if you are contemplating being the other woman in his life, maybe these pointers can help you sort yourself: 

1. Examine what you need out of life : For any person (especially women), commitment and security in a relationship is extremely necessary. Are you ok with the short-term pleasure you receive? Why are you not willing to settle for something better? 

2. Examine the goals of your relationship with that man : Psychologist Varkha Chulani says that you should question yourself about things like why is it that you are compromising and willing to be the second fiddle to a married man's wife. Are you so die-hard of love and attention? At times, you just might be high on confidence and self-esteem, with a million men wanting to be with you, but you still lay your hands on that married man. Is it just a way to show that you are the ultimate seductress who can woo any man regardless of his relationship status? 

3. Put yourself in the wife's shoes : Think once, will it be ok for you to see your husband having an extra marital affair? You might just be able to figure how heart-wrecking such a situation can be. It is important for you to remember that everything he told you about why he is in a relationship with you, might just not be true. You might be missing out his wife's stand. 

4. Weigh the consequences : Dr Chulani suggests you try the hedonic calculus method, i. e. gauging the short term and long term consequences. You do not want to realise five years later that you should not have wasted the prime of your youth on him instead of looking for other, better options. It is important to ask the man you love whether he is willing to stand up for you. See if he is man enough to protect you when you are being judged by others. Does he ever stand up for you and take the onus of being linked with you? If the answer to all these questions are no, he's treating you as that snack you would like to munch on once in a while but never have for a daily meal. 

5. Be ready to be tagged as the home-breaker : Think of how people will be wary of you, keeping their husbands away from you. Dr Chulani says that the man will never share the blame with you. However, you will be held responsible for being the woman who breaks his house, despite whether you entered in the relationship while he already had a bad marriage or not. Dr Chhabria says it's important that you are secure in your head that you never intended to break his marriage. 

6. Men tend to get a little over-posessive about their women, be it their wife or their girlfriend. They want the best of both worlds. Bear the difficulties that may ensue if at all you leave the relationship. Remind yourself that you knew he was married and you had to make compromises. You just might be heart-broken without him, but trust us it will be worth it. 

7. Look for someone who would give you first preference. If you are the one who is ready to pull out a tissue from your purse on the death of an ant, then probably it is best for you to move on and find a companion for yourself, who will give you what you want. Like Dr. Chhabria says, if you're looking for a stable relationship, this is not the one. Being in a relationship with a married man is like walking into a furniture store and asking for clothes.

Sex Facts You Will Never Knew

Do you believe that your bedroom life is on an all time high, thanks to the immense knowledge you have about sex? Well, we bring you seven never-heard-before facts about the 'S' word, which are sure to leave you thinking... 

1. Globally, lovers are having sex 139 times a year. The French are the lovemaking pacesetters, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey 2002, coming in at 167 times each 365 days. 

2. Condoms are biodegradable — some of them. Lambskin and latex condoms are biodegradable, but polyurethane condoms aren't. 

3. Sex-enhancing CDs are being sold for setting the mood. Try some classical options to rock your world: Shacking Up to Chopin, Making Out to Mozart and Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven are available. 

4. Don't douche — it's not recommended anymore. Douching washes away the healthy bacteria in the va**na and alters the natural, healthy pH level. The practice can actually lead to the spread of infections in the reproductive organs. 

5. Sex with a celebrity is the No. 1 fantasy worldwide. That's according to the recent Durex survey, which also found that four in 10 people have fantasized about sex with their best friend's partner! 

6. Believe it – blue balls are for real. The discomfort is caused when more blood flows into the pen*s than out. The uneven blood flow causes an increase in the volume of blood trapped in the genitals and contributes to the pen*s becoming erect and the testicles becoming engorged with blood. 

7. It could take eight months for a couple to conceive. So you might not get a baby off the bat, but the wait can be more than worthwhile. At least a year should go by before you fret about your fertility.

Thursday's Tee's

Dirty Ernie

Zimmerman !

Your Daily Smile ... Little Ralphy

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH   

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'   
She calls on little Ralphy. 

 

He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot...' 

 

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.' 

 

Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU. 

 

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: 

 

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. 
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. 

 

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. 
Which one is married?' 

 

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.' 

 

To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'

 

  
 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2) 
 

 

Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.  

 

'Why?' asks the father?  

 

'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.  

 

'But that's right!' says his dad.  

 

'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'' 

 

'What's the fuckin' difference?' asks the father.  

 

'That's what I said!'

 

  
  
 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH   
 

 

Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'  

 

RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'  

 

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful..'  

 

Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'

 

  
  
 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR   
 

 

Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day. 
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. 
He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'  

 

The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. 
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' 
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'  

 

Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if 
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'   
  
 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2) 
 

 

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice..  

 

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'  

 

'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.  

 

'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'  

 

She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.  

 

'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fuckin' beautiful!'' 
  
 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER  
 

 

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. 
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat..'  

 

Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old..'  

 

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?' 
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own fuckin' business.   
  
 

 

I LOVE Little RALPHY!!!!!