A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something
terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me.
What should I do?" The Rabbi then offers,
"Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I
can find out and I'll let you know." A week later
the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.
You want my advice?" The man said, "Yes."
The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison!
May 15, 2010
Elderly woes ... [ SENIORS GIVING BIRTH ]
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another
Relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they
Asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"
"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.?????"
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another
Relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they
Asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"
"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.?????"
management & engineers
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.
"How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"
BOTTOM LINE: just imagine the management guys who are basically engineers... no wonder!!!!!
May 14, 2010
Joe and His Harley
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a Huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a Huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom..
'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, Total silence.
Al l of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket....
Suddenly the father shouted...."
He looks at her mom..
'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, Total silence.
Al l of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket....
Suddenly the father shouted...."
May 13, 2010
FIFTEEN BUCKS
Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks." She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you LOOK at it." They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL." She says, "Thank you." He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?" She says, "Go ahead." He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?" She says, "Of course." He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire." |
May 12, 2010
<<< HOW TO WIN MEN & WOMEN'S HEART >>>
How to win Men 's Heart ??? RS 25 /-
How to win Women's Heart ??? RS 25000000000?/-
High School Buddies
Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.
"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"
"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complimented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."
About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye.
"Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.
"I took your advice."
"Didn't you compliment her?"
"Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After awhile I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."
"It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.
"Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment."
"What did you say?"
"For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."
************
My small grandson got lost at the shopping mall..........
He approached a uniformed security guard and said,
"I've lost my grandpa!" The guard asked, "What's his name?" "Grandpa"
The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?"
The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied,
"Jack Daniels whiskey, and women with big boobs."
He approached a uniformed security guard and said,
"I've lost my grandpa!" The guard asked, "What's his name?" "Grandpa"
The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?"
The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied,
"Jack Daniels whiskey, and women with big boobs."
Crazy Laws of Some Countries
Penal Code 6260, California State Vehicle Act, Chapter XVIII, Paragrapf 187, reads:
It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game bird or mammal--except a whale, from an automobile or an airplane.
Ordinance No. 16 of Columbus, Mont. provides that;
Any person who shall not lift his hat to the Mayor as he passes him in the street, will be guilty of a misdemeanor.
Boys are prohibited from throwing snowballs at trees within the city limits of Mt. Pulaski, Ill., according to Section 37 of the Revised Ordinances of that city.
All Wisconsin boarding houses clubs, hotels and restaurants must serve with every meal sold at twenty-five cents or more, not less than two-thirds of an ounce of cheese.
Connecticut General Statutes provides for the punishment by fine or imprisonment for the "Enticing of a neighbor's bees".
The Revised Statutes of Kansas, 1923, state: It shall be unlawful for any person to exhibit in a public way within the State of Kansas, any sort of exhibition that consists of the eating or pretending to eat of snakes, lizaeds, scorpions, centipedes, tarantulas, or other reptiles.
The State Housing Act of California, Sec. 74 reads: No horse, cow, calf, swine, sheep, goat, mule, or other animal, chicken, pigeon, goose, duck, or other poultry shall be kept in any apartment house or hotel or any part thereof.
In Alderson W.Va, an ordinance states: No lions shall be allowed to run wild on the streets of this city.
This is the law in Kansas: When two trains approach each other at a crossing, they shall both come to a complete stop, and neither shall start up until the other has gone.
In 1907, Michigan passed a law which reads: An act to provide for the lawful taking of suckers, mullet, dogfish, and lawyers from the Sturgeon River
It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game bird or mammal--except a whale, from an automobile or an airplane.
Ordinance No. 16 of Columbus, Mont. provides that;
Any person who shall not lift his hat to the Mayor as he passes him in the street, will be guilty of a misdemeanor.
Boys are prohibited from throwing snowballs at trees within the city limits of Mt. Pulaski, Ill., according to Section 37 of the Revised Ordinances of that city.
All Wisconsin boarding houses clubs, hotels and restaurants must serve with every meal sold at twenty-five cents or more, not less than two-thirds of an ounce of cheese.
Connecticut General Statutes provides for the punishment by fine or imprisonment for the "Enticing of a neighbor's bees".
The Revised Statutes of Kansas, 1923, state: It shall be unlawful for any person to exhibit in a public way within the State of Kansas, any sort of exhibition that consists of the eating or pretending to eat of snakes, lizaeds, scorpions, centipedes, tarantulas, or other reptiles.
The State Housing Act of California, Sec. 74 reads: No horse, cow, calf, swine, sheep, goat, mule, or other animal, chicken, pigeon, goose, duck, or other poultry shall be kept in any apartment house or hotel or any part thereof.
In Alderson W.Va, an ordinance states: No lions shall be allowed to run wild on the streets of this city.
This is the law in Kansas: When two trains approach each other at a crossing, they shall both come to a complete stop, and neither shall start up until the other has gone.
In 1907, Michigan passed a law which reads: An act to provide for the lawful taking of suckers, mullet, dogfish, and lawyers from the Sturgeon River
The Sweet Joke of the Day
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from all that skipping."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from all that skipping."
21 Things that'll Happen if the IPL is Nationalised
1. The new Commissioner of the IPL, replacing Lalit Modi, will be an IAS officer, 1989 batch, transferred from the Food Corporation of India .
2. Mayawati will demand, however, that the new Chairman should be her own candidate, Mr Dalit Modi .
3. The name of Mumbai Indians will immediately be changed to Mumbai Manus. It will, naturally, field only Maharashtrians (preferably Maharashtrian Brahmins). All other players will have their legs broken. Zaheer Khan will have his house burned down. So will Irfan Pathan, Yusuf Pathan and Mohd Kaif .
4. The Chennai Super Kings team will be renamed Dravida Cricket Kazhagam. Subsequently one faction will break away and the team will split into DCK (DMK) and AIADCK, owing allegience to Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha respectively .
5. Each political party will have its own team: BJP Bandits, Congress Cobras, CPI Cadres, Samajwadi Strikers, CPM Challengers, Trinamul Tigers etc .
6. Auction of players will be replaced by teams calling for tenders for players. The lowest priced players will be picked.
7. Sonia Gandhi will insist that 30% of each team should be reserved for women .
8. Mayawati will demand that SC/ST players will need to run for only 18 yards instead of 22 yards between the wickets .
9. Third Umpire requests will have to be filled in triplicate and duly notarized .
10. All Third Umpire decisions will be referred to a Joint Parlimentary Commission .
11. IPL tickets will henceforth be available at all post offices and BSNL centers from 10 a.m. to 12.45 p.m. The facility to purchase tickets on your cellphone will immediately be withdrawn .
12. Replacing an injured foreign player can be done only through a Tatkal application submitted 48 hours after a Govt doctor examines him .
13. Cheerleaders will be replaced by retired Air-India flight attendants .
14. These new cheerleaders will perform the folk dances of the states they represent during breaks .
15. IPL matches will be shown only on Doordarshan. They will be telecast the day immediately following the match, from 4 a.m. to 7.30 a.m. and subsequently from 3.30 p.m. to 7p.m, subject to satellite link-up availability .
16. Between each innings break Doordarshan will telecast the news in Hindi, followed by news for the hearing impaired .
17. Agricultural shots can be played only during the phase of the game termed " Krishi Darshan . "
18. There will be no matches on weekends or on national / regional holidays .
19. The three stumps will be painted saffron, white and green .
20. Bowlers will have to bowl sarpatti and ghasssarkundi balls (Hindi terms for underhand bowling) to the reserved players .
21. Pakistan will immediately announce its intention to start its own version of the tournament called PPL and Mr Zardari will make a visit to Washington to meet President Obama and seek an additional grant of $1 billion to fund it .
(Don't laugh. You never know).
May 11, 2010
The Rule
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted.
"And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted.
"And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
May 10, 2010
All Facebook Users
Hello Friends ...!!!
Facebook has disabled our new Jokes page lol so we made a new one ........ Fun will never Stop :)
All Facebook Friends Can Join Us here @ Jokes Veg & NonVeg
Thanks Friends
Keep Smiling :))
Facebook has disabled our new Jokes page lol so we made a new one ........ Fun will never Stop :)
All Facebook Friends Can Join Us here @ Jokes Veg & NonVeg
Thanks Friends
Keep Smiling :))
May 6, 2010
Most Romantic Countries of the World
SOME ROMANTIC COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD
These are some of the romantic countries in the world.
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull.
These are some of the romantic countries in the world.
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull.
JUST THREE WORDS
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00... on one condition... "
Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was.
This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00... on one condition... "
Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was.
The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address.
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address.
She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said.... "Clean my house."
Panda Therapy !!!
Mum? Can you come and get me down now?
I'm not coming out.You'll have to come in and get me.
Kung Fu Panda...bring it on!
On the count of three..... lift!
Does this log make my butt look fat?
Betcha can't see me.....
Oops! Slight miscalculation.
You go. I'll just stay here and rest my head a little bit.
It wasn't me! I didn't steal this bamboo shoot!
It was just sitting here, I swear it!
I'll give you 2 seconds to get off me or I'm calling Mom.
paparazzi! Could we have a little privacy please?
Dear Martha Stewart:
I have this brown stain on my nice, white, fluffy butt...
Shhhh! I'm reviewing...
I cannot believe that I'm stuck in this tree again.
What is the matter with me?
I'm sure there's a way out somewhere.
I saw an ant go this way yesterday.
Forget Me ..
Absolutely nothing accomplished.
The perfect day for a panda...
DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER ALREADY
AMERICANIZATION
The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy".
U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".
U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".
U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" no.
U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".
U don't "accelerate", U "step on the gas".
Your tire never "punctures", U may have a "flat".
The trains have "coaches" or "boggies' no more but "carriages" or "boxes".
There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".
"I don't know nothing", 2 negatives don't make a positive here.
U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool" guy
U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb,rather flick it up.
There's no "Business Area" only "business districts", and no "districts" but "counties".
No one stays "a stone's throw away", might"a few blocks away".
There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town".
In hotel U no longer ask for "bill" and pay by "cheque", rather ask for "check" and pay with (Dollar) "bill's".
There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas".
Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks".
U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball".
U don't "sweat it out", U "work U'r butt off".
Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't "stick" them.
U no longer live in "flats" or "blocks", find an "apartment".
U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it.
"#" is not "hash", it's "pound".
U R not "deaf", U have "impaired hearing".
U R not "lunatic", U are just "mentally challenged".
U R not "disgusting" U R "sick".
U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped".
U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it.
U never "joke", U just "kid".
U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up.
U never ask for a pencil "rubber" U ask for an eraser. a rubber is a condom
U don't try to find a lift U find an elevator.
U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?"
U never go to see a game U go to watch a game.
If U see "World" champions(or Series),read "USA"champions(or Series).
There's no "zero" but "o", no "Z" but "zee".
There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD.
If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".
You don't say "How do you do", you say "How you doin"
In short U don't speak English, U speak American.
Well u dont' say life is boring u say LIFE SUCKS !!!!!
Snow in June
A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a girl hitchhiker wearing REALLY
short shorts.
“Say, What’s your name, mister?” she inquired, after she climbed up in
the truck.
“It’s Snow—-Roy Snow,” he answered, “and what’s yours?”
“Me, I’m June—-June Hansen,” she said.
After a short while she asked, “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with
those sidelong glances?”
“Can you imagine what it might be like,” he countered, “…having eight
inches of Snow in June?”
short shorts.
“Say, What’s your name, mister?” she inquired, after she climbed up in
the truck.
“It’s Snow—-Roy Snow,” he answered, “and what’s yours?”
“Me, I’m June—-June Hansen,” she said.
After a short while she asked, “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with
those sidelong glances?”
“Can you imagine what it might be like,” he countered, “…having eight
inches of Snow in June?”
May 5, 2010
Sick Leave Haha.. Hehe...
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'
(You're going to love this....)
She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.'
Its So Big !!!
Dick and Sandra were planning to go on a second honeymoon for
their 50th wedding anniversary.
Sandra said, "Will we go to all the same places that we did on
our first honeymoon?"
"Uh huh," said Dick
"Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?"
asked Sandra .
"Uh huh," said Dick.
"And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?" asked
Sandra.
"That's right," said Dick, "except this time I get to sit
on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'"
their 50th wedding anniversary.
Sandra said, "Will we go to all the same places that we did on
our first honeymoon?"
"Uh huh," said Dick
"Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?"
asked Sandra .
"Uh huh," said Dick.
"And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?" asked
Sandra.
"That's right," said Dick, "except this time I get to sit
on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'"
SHIPWRECKED !!!
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do..
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So, they buried Susie.
May 4, 2010
Naughty Rhymes
The grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with their names.
First up was Dan. A very adventurous child.
My name is Dan,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to India and Japan,
If I can, If I can, If I can.
Very good she said to Dan. She then told Sally that it now was her turn.
My name is Sally,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby,
If I can, if I can, if I can.
That is good Sally, she said. But maybe one day you will change your mind. Next up was Sam he was the naughty one in the class.
My name is Sam,
When I grow up to be a man,
Never mind India and Japan,
I gonna help Sally with her plan,
I know I can, I can, I can.
A Forgiving Woman
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Neely, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight," she replied.
The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the bitches."
Last Words
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last."
wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last."
Women's Rules
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding
which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. When rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing
the misunderstanding.
8. The female can change her mind at any time.
9. The male must never change his mind without written consent
from the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female
wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know
whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void.
14. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm
to the male.
Contact Agreement (Humour)
Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.
Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to Pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have Elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of The funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only Eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of Opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for The inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused Me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I Personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging prerecorded, faceless entity Which your bank has be come.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh and blood Person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no Longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed Personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must Nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any Other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your Chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in Order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, There is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical History must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory Details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) Must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she Must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 Digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses Required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As They say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press Buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is Required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put On hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
Uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. While this may, on Occasion, involve a lengthy wait, Regrettably, but again following your Example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of This new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less Prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
(Remember: This was written by a 96 year old woman)
Who designed the human body?
Four engineers were sitting around one day trying to figure out who might have designed the human body.
The first fellow says "I think it might be a Mechanical Engineer, because of joints and muscle and sense of balance." The other three nod there heads and say "Yeah, could be."
The second fellow says "I think it might be an Electrical Engineer, because of the nervous system and neural network." The other three nod there heads and say "Yeah, could be."
The third fellow says "I think it might be a Chemical Engineer, because of hormonal balances and metabolism." The other three nod there heads and say "Yeah, could be."
The fourth fellow snaps his fingers and shouts out "I know, it HAD to have been a Civil engineer!" The other three ask "Why?"
"Well" says the fourth fellow, "who else would put a waste water drainage right through a recreational area!"
The first fellow says "I think it might be a Mechanical Engineer, because of joints and muscle and sense of balance." The other three nod there heads and say "Yeah, could be."
The second fellow says "I think it might be an Electrical Engineer, because of the nervous system and neural network." The other three nod there heads and say "Yeah, could be."
The third fellow says "I think it might be a Chemical Engineer, because of hormonal balances and metabolism." The other three nod there heads and say "Yeah, could be."
The fourth fellow snaps his fingers and shouts out "I know, it HAD to have been a Civil engineer!" The other three ask "Why?"
"Well" says the fourth fellow, "who else would put a waste water drainage right through a recreational area!"
I am the groom
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Salary Package
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
Wedding Cake
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
Wife's Order
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.
God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?
The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."
Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.
God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?
The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."
Laws of Success
Do you want something -- Will you pay the price
The great sin -- Gossip.
The great crippler -- Fear.
The greatest mistake -- Giving up.
The most satisfying experience -- Doing your duty first.
The best action -- Keep the mind clear and judgment good.
The greatest blessing -- Good health.
The biggest fool - The man who lies to himself.
The great gamble -- Substituting hope for facts.
The most certain thing in life -- Change.
The greatest joy -- Being needed.
The cleverest man -- The one who does what he thinks is right.
The most potent force -- Positive thinking.
The greatest opportunity -- The next one.
The greatest thought -- God.
The greatest victory -- Victory over self.
The best play -- Successful work.
The greatest handicap -- Egotism.
The most expensive indulgence -- Hate.
The most dangerous man -- The liar
The most ridiculous trait -- False pride.
The greatest loss -- Loss of self confidence.
The greatest need -- Common sense.
Don't mess with old ladies
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you st! ep out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this! car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old and not so Old Ladies ......
Rented An Adult Movie
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen. She got so mad and called the video store to complain.
Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."
Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
Blonde: "It's called, Head Cleaner."
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen. She got so mad and called the video store to complain.
Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."
Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
Blonde: "It's called, Head Cleaner."
Take care of the Clinic
A Doctor in Cape Breton wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant “Garge, I am going hunting tomorrow and
don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients”.
“Yes, sir!” answers Garge.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Garge, how was your day?”
don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients”.
“Yes, sir!” answers Garge.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Garge, how was your day?”
Garge told him that he took care of three patients.
“The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.”
“Bravo Mate, and the second one?” asks the doctor.
“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir” says Garge.
“The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.”
“Bravo Mate, and the second one?” asks the doctor.
“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir” says Garge.
“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” asks the doctor.
“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her
legs and shouts: ‘HELP ME! For five years I have not seen a man!’”
“And what did you do Garge?” asks the doctor.
“I put drops in her eyes.”
Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her
legs and shouts: ‘HELP ME! For five years I have not seen a man!’”
“And what did you do Garge?” asks the doctor.
“I put drops in her eyes.”
Never Piss Off A Nurse
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.
She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce,
"I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get
back!"
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He
cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his
door, laughing.....
After about 20 minutes, the man's Doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confessed..... "Not with a Daffodil."
May 3, 2010
Courses for women
Funny!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
Women think they already know everything, but wait...
training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
5. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
6. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
9. Introduction to Parking
10. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
11. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
12. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
13. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
14. TV Remotes: For Men Only
Hurry!!!!!!! !! Enroll youself for one and get the remaining free........ ......... ......... ......... .....
Women think they already know everything, but wait...
training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
5. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
6. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
9. Introduction to Parking
10. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
11. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
12. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
13. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
14. TV Remotes: For Men Only
Hurry!!!!!!! !! Enroll youself for one and get the remaining free........ ......... ......... ......... .....
THREE NUNS AT A BASEBALL GAME!
THREE NUNS AT A BASEBALL GAME!
> > THREE
> > MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND CHEERING FOR THE YANKEES.
> > BECAUSE THE NUNS' HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THEIR
> > VIEW, THEY DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D
> > GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA.
> >
> > IN A
> > VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID,
> >
> > "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH . THERE
> > ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE."
> >
> > THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND
> > SAID,
> >
> > "I
> > WANT TO GO TO
> > MONTANA . THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING
> > THERE."
> >
> > THE THIRD GUY SAID,
> >
> > "I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO . THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS
> > LIVING
> > THERE."
> >
> > THE MOTHER SUPERIOR TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN,
> > AND IN A VERY SWEET AND
> > CALM VOICE SAID,
> >
> >
> >
> > "WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL ... THERE
> > AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE.
> > >
Little Johnny IN The Country
Little Johnny is visiting his cousin in the country and they decide to
go for a walk down the back roads. After about three miles they find a
used rubber lying by the road.
"Hey," Little Johnny, the dumbass city boys says, "look, some cow lost
one of its titties!"
"Let's go give it to the farmer!" says his cousin.
So, they work they way up to the farmhouse. They knock on the door and
out comes the farmer.
"Hey, Mister, we found a cow titty. Ya want it back?" says Little
Johnny.
The farmer didn't feel like conducting a mini sex ed seminar, said,
"Sure, uhhh, here's a dollar for your trouble."
Little Johnny hands over the rubber and head on back down the road.
After a little while Little Johnny says "You know, I bet we could have
got more than a buck if I hadn't drank the milk out of it!"
go for a walk down the back roads. After about three miles they find a
used rubber lying by the road.
"Hey," Little Johnny, the dumbass city boys says, "look, some cow lost
one of its titties!"
"Let's go give it to the farmer!" says his cousin.
So, they work they way up to the farmhouse. They knock on the door and
out comes the farmer.
"Hey, Mister, we found a cow titty. Ya want it back?" says Little
Johnny.
The farmer didn't feel like conducting a mini sex ed seminar, said,
"Sure, uhhh, here's a dollar for your trouble."
Little Johnny hands over the rubber and head on back down the road.
After a little while Little Johnny says "You know, I bet we could have
got more than a buck if I hadn't drank the milk out of it!"
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
>
> 1st woman: Hi! Wanda.
>
> 2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?
>
> 1st woman: I froze to death.
>
> 2nd woman: How horrible!
>
> 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold,
> I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
> about you?
>
> 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
> husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
> But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
>
> 1st woman: So, what happened?
>
> 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
> that I started running all over the house looking.. I ran up into the
> attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through
> every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I
> had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
> keeled over with a heart attack and died.
>
> 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
>
>
> 1st woman: Hi! Wanda.
>
> 2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?
>
> 1st woman: I froze to death.
>
> 2nd woman: How horrible!
>
> 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold,
> I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
> about you?
>
> 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
> husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
> But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
>
> 1st woman: So, what happened?
>
> 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
> that I started running all over the house looking.. I ran up into the
> attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through
> every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I
> had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
> keeled over with a heart attack and died.
>
> 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
>
May 2, 2010
99.95% Wrong Answer Challenge
*It is a 99.95% challenge that u will have a wrong answer to the question asked in the passage...*
Once there was loving couple travelling in a bus in a mountainous area. They decided to get down at some place.
After the couple got down at some place the bus moved on. As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus from the mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed. The couple upon seeing that, said, "*We wish we were on that bus*" Why do u think they said that ?
After the couple got down at some place the bus moved on. As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus from the mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed. The couple upon seeing that, said, "*We wish we were on that bus*" Why do u think they said that ?
Scroll down for answer...
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
------------ ------- Answer !!!! ------------ -------
*If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down, the resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have fallen
after the bus had passed ..!!!*
after the bus had passed ..!!!*
*Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can help others
....Many times in life, the opposite of Success is not Failure, its
Quitting. Winners never quit, quitters never Win....*
....Many times in life, the opposite of Success is not Failure, its
Quitting. Winners never quit, quitters never Win....*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)