Photos that never appear in a Sports Magazine

 

 

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE ANYWAY? 
 
 


 
SHE DOES LOOK HAPPY.  :-)
 
 


HELLLOOOOOOO
 
 


HEADS UP
 
 


MAYBE A WIDER BAND ON THE OUTFIT?  OR
AN OUTFIT CHECK BEFORE HITTING THE DANCE FLOOR? 
 
 


PEEK-A-BOO
 
 


OUCH..BUT HE DESERVES IT, HIS SWORD IS
STUCK IN THE BULL'S NECK.
 


AGAIN, HAVE AN OUTFIT CHECK BEFORE HITTING 
THE ICE.  BUT HER BAND IS WIDER.



MAYBE CHECK THE "UNDIE-FIT" AS WELL AS THE
OUTFIT
 
 


I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

 

Kids really do say the darndest things

 

While the Pastor was presenting a sermon on Palm Sunday, he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was ... ???

 

In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

 

It took another 10 minutes for the congregation, including the visiting Bishop, to settle down to continue the rest of the sermon ...

 

For Your Laughter

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:

Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... .. .......no strings attached.

 

Ad In Hospital Waiting Room: 
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

 

On a bulletin board: 
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. 

 

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading

 

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

 

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. 
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off

 

Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'

 

Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....

 

Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.

 

The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions..

 

Getting Caught 
Is The Mother Of Invention.

 

Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone 

 

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe 
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

 

Sign At A Barber's shop :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business..

 

Sign In A Restaurant : 
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

 

New Barber's shop on High Street, called:

Hair today - gone 2moro.

Disgraced His Family

There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your Assets; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

He is going to try to put his hand somewhere inappropriate; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."