Philosophy of Life As Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.
  A tourist complimented the local fishermen
On the quality of their fish and asked
How long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long." they answered in unison.
  "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
  The fishermen explained that their small catches were
Sufficient to meet  their needs and those of  their families.

 

"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"   "We sleep late, fish a little, play with  our children,
And take  siestas with  our wives.
In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends,
Have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.

 

We  have a full life."

 

The tourist interrupted,

 

 

"I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day.
You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."   "And after that?"   "With the extra money the larger boat will bring,
You can buy a second one and a third one
And so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man,
You can then negotiate directly with the processing plants
And maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City ,
Los Angeles , or even New York City !

 

From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

 

"How long would that take?"

 

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.

 

"And after that?"

 

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting,"
Answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big,
You can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"  

 

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.

 

"After that you'll be able to retire,
Live in a tiny village near the coast,
Sleep late, play with your children,
Catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife
And spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is:

 

 

........ Know where you're going in life...
You may already be there!! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blond Hates Dogs

An exhausted-looking blond drags herself to the doctor’s office.


“Doctor, there are loads of dogs on my street. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep,” she says.


“I have good news for you,” the doctor answers, “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.“


“Great,” the blond says, “I’ll try anything.“


A few weeks later the blond returns, looking worse than ever.


“Doctor, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!” she complains.


“I don’t understand how that can be“, says the doctor, shaking his head, “Those are the strongest pills on the market!“


“That may be true,” answers the blond wearily, “But I’m still up all night chasing those dogs, and when I finally catch one it’s hard making him swallow the pill.“

Gareeb Family ( Very Funny )

Ek Ameer Ladki ko School me Gharib Khandaan pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha Gya.

Essay me usne Likha:
Ek Gharib Khandaan tha,
Baap Gharib,
Maa Gharib,
Bache Gharib.
Khandaan me 4 Nauker the,
wo bhi Ghareeb.
Car bi Tutti Hui SAFARI thi.Unka Gharib Driver Bachon ko Tutti Car me School Chhor K Aata tha.
Bachon K paas Purane N97 Mobile the....
Bache Hafte me 3 bar Hi Chicken Khate the.
Ghar me 4 Hi 2nd Hand A.C. The.
Sara Khandaan Bari Mushkil se Aish Kar raha tha .

Who is the Real Donkey

PLASTIC SURGERY CENTER

World's most expensive watches !

Life in Year 3000

Blood Business [joke]

A Bihari politician needed a heart transplant.

A lots of blood was required in case of emergency need of his rare type of blood. This blood was nowhere to be found.

Finally, a miser Marwari with matching blood came forward from Marwar, to give this price-less gift for free and to earn some blessings. From Marwar to Patna, all his expenses were bear by Bihari.

Surgery was accomplished with success. Bihari sent a thank you note, a beautiful car, a diamond ring, and tons of political money to the Marwari for his sense of philanthropy.

Is This Cheating?

POOL QUESTION...
 

THIS AGAIN IS FOR ALL MY "OLD" FRIENDS WHO KNOW ALL THE RULES ABOUT EVERYTHING.

I COULD FIND NO REGULATION ON WHETHER YOU HAVE TO USE THE CUE IN YOUR RIGHT

OR LEFT HAND. OR IF USING A STABLIZER ON THE TABLE FOR BALANCE IS ALLOWED.

 

To all you snooker and pool players... AS I DON'T KNOW ALL THE RULES...

The question has come up: "Is this Cheating?”

 YOU    DON'T   NEED     MANY OF THESE    FOR A POUND   !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 It really doesn't matter to me... I was just wondering? 

 

Man - Women ( Husband - Wife )

1.   Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.

Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai

... Paisa apka ... Faisla apka .. . Jaago Graahak Jaago !!!  

2.    " Funny but true fact !! A woman worries about her future

till she gets a husband, A man never worries about his future

until he gets a wife !! .. What do u say?  

3.   A Man before marriage is - Superman.  After Marriage - Gentleman. 

5  Years  Later - Watchman.  10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein phansa hua

Spiderman.  

 

4.  Life  me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate

raho... taki tumhe dekh kar hi log  samaj jaye k tum... " UNMARRIED"  ho. 

5.  Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
 Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....
  KHUSH RAHO…..

  

6.   Why love marriage is better dan Arranged???? B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" 

is better dan an "UNKNOWN GHOST".  

 

7.   Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 20 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon,

mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?    
HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.  

8.  A man gave an add in Matrimonial column
      "PATNI CHAHIYE"
        He got 1000 replies all saying:-
    "   Meri Le Ja...!"
    ''Meri Le Ja...!''  

9.  Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se

 kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
       Manager: "What can I do?
        Husband"Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."  

10.  Telling a lie is a
      fault for a little boy,
        an art for a lover,
        an accomplishment for a bachelor and
        a Matter of Survival for a married man.

Good Luck!....... ........i. e with your wife ;-P

Work Attitude

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire.




They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work.














He resorted to Shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career. When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house" he said, "my gift to you."




The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.




So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.










You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a Wall. "Life is a do-it-yourself project" someone has said . Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the "house" you live in tomorrow. Build wisely!

Blonde Joke

A beautiful blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the
summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman', and started
canvassing a nearby well-to-do  neighbourhood.

She went to the front door  of the first house, and asked the owner if he
had any odd jobs  that she could do..

"Well,  I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said.. "How
much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and  told her that the paint brushes and  everything she
would need was in the  garage.The man's wife, hearing the conversation,
said to her husband,  'Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way
around the house ?'

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it ?"

The wife replied, "You're right.  I guess I'm starting to believe all those
dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately.."

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes", the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over, so I gave it
two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50, and handed it to
her along with a ten dollar tip.

"And, by the way" the blonde added, "It's not a Porch, it's a Lexus"

A few Good Jokes

Wonderful coffee






Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today.
Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today.
*******






Doctor’s promise






"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."
*******






Dentist's thinking






Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."
Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."
*******






In safe hands






Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.
Doctor: Don’t worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it’s the turn of the 90 percent survivors.
*******

A Great Comeback

 

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."