A cow from Alberta

The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta.


The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.


They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.


They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.


However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.




No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.


The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.


They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.


The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Alberta?"


The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?


"The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Alberta."

Tiger & Santa in zoo

Santa Singh was a big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely.
Zoo people requested Santa to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo’s roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep.
At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly Santa put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path.
With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our Santa is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.
After some time the roads meet again to our Santa’s misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our Santa thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake.




The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.
Moral Of The Story:- There are Santa Singh in Tigers too.

One Liners

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while Driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a Referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the Husband
4. They say we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted Cash.
5. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased their new school uniforms.
6. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without. But whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
8. You can’t buy love. But you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote at all.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss, his Wife.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Best patient

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

Wedding One Liners

1. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)
2.I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelery. (Rita Rudner)
3. Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)
4. By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. (Socrates)
5. A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. (Evan Esar)
6. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)
7. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)
8. A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)
9. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)
10. I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburettor’ . I said, ‘Where’s the car?’ She said, ‘In the lake’. (Henny Youngman)
11. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)
12. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller)
13. All marriages are mixed marriages. (Chantal Saperstein)
14. There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again. (Clint Eastwood)
15. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. (Henny Youngman)

Parents Are Precious ( read & Share )

This was narrated by an IAF pilot at
a Seminar recently on Human Relations :


Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden
flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our
parents.


My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never
traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets
to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of
travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting
restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him
experience all these things.


As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.


Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and
just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.


Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.






Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.


- KEEP THIS MESSAGE GOING BY SENDING IT TO YOUR FRIends
a Seminar recently on Human Relations :


Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden
flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our
parents.


My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never
traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets
to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of
travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting
restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him
experience all these things.


As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.


Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and
just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.


Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.






Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.


- KEEP THIS MESSAGE GOING BY SENDING IT TO YOUR FRIends

Most Important part of body !

My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body?
Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct Answer.


When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans,
so I said, 'My ears, Mommy.'


She said, 'No. Many people are deaf.
But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.'


Several years passed before she asked me again.
Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.
So this time I told her, 'Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.'
She looked at me and told me, 'You are learning fast,
but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.'
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years,
Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was,
'No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.'


Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt.
Everybody was crying. Even my father cried.
I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry.
My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather.
She asked me, 'Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?'
I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me.
She saw the confusion on my face and told me, 'This question is very important.
It shows that you have really lived in your life.
For every body part you gave me in the past,
I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why.


But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.
'She looked down at me as only a mother can.
I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, 'My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.'
I asked, 'Is it because it holds up my head?'




She replied, 'No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry.
Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear.
I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.'


Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one.
It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.


People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did .
But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.




"
You can never tell what type of impact you may make on another’s life by your actions or lack


of action. Sometimes just with a smile on the street to a passing stranger can make a difference


we could never imagine.
...Hannah..."

A marvelous answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car .


The mechanic shouted across the garage," Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."


The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.


The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one... So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "


The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


...
..
..
Doctor said : " Try to do it when the Engine is RUNNING "

Santa singh in story writing competetion

Santa Singh happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery. Santa singh turn came after many attempts by others. Santa gave a story, which was just one sentence and read:
“Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child“.
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked Santa whether it contained all the four ingredients!! Santa replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:
Oh God: religion
my wife: sex
going to deliver a child : suspense (whether a girl or a boy)




“Okay…. but where is the mystery ?” asked one of the organizers.
Our Santa Singh replied : Who is the father ??

Rare Oppourtunity

Change our vision

There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain. He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.




But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was called for by the millionaire. The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colours and not to fall his eyes on any other colours.




The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall to be painted in green colour just as the monk had directed.






When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other colour and his eye ache would come back.




Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could have saved a large share of his fortune.




You cannot paint the world green." Let us change our vision and the world will appear accordingly. It is foolish to shape the world, let us shape ourselves first.






Lets change our vision..!!




********


Think simple,Live simple..

DECISION MAKING

DECISION MAKING - TRY THIS












A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.




The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?




Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make................
.
.
.


Scroll down


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?




Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.




The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.




While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

Great Ideas

A SILENT LOVE

From the very Beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.


Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"


As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.






After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"


The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.


The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.


One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......


The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.


During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.


With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. All the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....


The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.


With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.


A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.


When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

A to Z of life

A--Accept


Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.






B--Break Away


Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.






C--Create


Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.






D--Decide


Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.






E--Explore


Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.






F--Forgive


Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.






G--Grow


Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.






H--Hope


Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.






I--Ignore


Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.






J--Journey


Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.






K--Know


Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.






L--Love


Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.






M--Manage


Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.






N--Notice


Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.






O--Open


Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.






P--Play


Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.






Q--Question


Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.






We Learn By Doing, And Teach By Being.






R--Relax


Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.






S--Share


Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.






T--Try


Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.






U--Use


Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.






V--Value


Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.






W--Work


Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.






X--X-Ray


Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.






Y--Yield


Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.






Z--Zoom


Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.