Mar 17, 2010

GOD CREATED CHILDREN

GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)



To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children..

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was ' DON'T !'

'Don't what?' Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.
'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '
'No Way!'
'Yes way!'
'Do NOT eat the fruit!' said God.



'Why?'
'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked ! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?' God asked.

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.
'Then why did you? 'said the Father.
'I don't know,'said Eve.
'She started it! 'Adam said.
'Did not! '
'Did too! '
'DID NOT! '
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.



ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.. They will choose your nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:




'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes.
Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do,
Ten people will be laughing

10 LAWS OF COMPUTING

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

Whose Cat is Smartest

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop

into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......

ate the cookies..... ...

drank the milk........

shat on the paper.......

screwed the other three cats........

claimed he injured his back while doing so.......


filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....


put in for Workers Compensation. ......... .....and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave....... .....

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

Computer Problems & Tech Support

CD in drive
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen!
Tech support: OK, I see Aaaa!

White Comp
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Icon on Left
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


Printer Problem
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Password
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

AntiVirus Program
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Screen Saver
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Weird Computer Problems and Tech Support

The PhotoGrapher & The Pilot

The photographer for a National Magazine was assigned to get photos of a Heavy forest fire.
Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he called his editor at the office to hire a plane.
It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small rural airport a plane was warming up near the runway.
He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!
The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.

Because I am going to take pictures! I am a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.
After a long pause the pilot said, “You mean you are not the instructor?

Heart Surgeon Funreal

One of the city’s top cardiac specialists died.
At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of huge heart made of red roses.
When the pastor finished the ceremony, and everyone said their goodbyes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again.
It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist.
Suddenly, one Lady burst into laughter.
Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to her asked, “Why are you laughing, Madam? “
“I was just thinking about my own funeral,” the Lady replied,
“I’m a gynecologist.”

Height Of Miserliness !!! Funny One‏


A very successful Sindhi parked his brand new Porsche Car at the front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he got out, a truck came along too close to the kerb and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing.

But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the Sindhi started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.

After the Sindhi finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. 'I can't believe how materialistic you Sindhi's are,' he said.

'You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.'

'How can you say such a thing?' asked the Sindhi.

The cop replied, 'Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!'

'OH, MY GOD!' screamed the Sindhi & finally said----



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'MY ROLEX WATCH' IS GONE TOO....

Problem With Girls

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;

If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.



If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;

If u Don't, she says u are from CHENNAI.



If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.



If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;

If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.



If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u .(very true huh?)



If u don't make love with her.., she says! u don't Love her;

If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.



If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.



If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;

If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.



If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.



If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;

If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.



If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;

If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.



If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;

If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!


& sooo hard to please!!!!!


If u send this to girls, they will swear that it's not true........

30 Real Feelings of Girls

1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship' s over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt. 6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.....

19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25..... A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day..

26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved....

Dear Friend, Do u read all the above points carefully... ..... Hope u did't the 6th real Feeling is missing.... You have fill that, i need all your opinion

4 Thoughts by Men

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
This is the Best !!!

Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter .......... all except the poor Groom!!

Innocence Assumption



Elderly woes ...

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

"May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another
Relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they
Asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"

"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.?????"

Explanation

Santa wired home that he had been able to wind up his business trip a day early and would be home on Wednesday.

When he walked into his apartment, however, he found his wife, Jeeto, in bed with another man. Furious, he picked up his bag and stormed out; he met his mother-in-law on the street, told her what had happened and announced that he was filing a suit for divorce in the morning.

"Give my daughter a chance to explain before you do any thing." the older women pleaded.

Reluctantly, he agreed. An hour later, his mother-in-law phoned Santa at his office.

"I knew my daughter would have an explanation," a note of truimph in her voice. "She didn't receive your telegram!"

1000 english Proverbs & Sayings‏

01. A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
02. A bad corn promise is better than a good lawsuit.
03. A bad workman quarrels with his tools.
04. A bargain is a bargain.
05. A beggar can never be bankrupt.
06. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
07. A bird may be known by its song.
08. A black hen lays a white egg.
09. A blind leader of the blind.
10. A blind man would be glad to see.
11. A broken friendship may be soldered, but will never be sound.
12. A burden of one's own choice is not felt.
13. A burnt child dreads the fire.
14. A cat in gloves catches no mice.
15. A city that parleys is half gotten.
16. A civil denial is better than a rude grant.
17. A clean fast is better than a dirty breakfast.
18. A clean hand wants no washing.
19. A clear conscience laughs at false accusations.
20. A close mouth catches no flies.
21. A cock is valiant on his own dunghill.
22. A cracked bell can never sound well.
23. A creaking door hangs long on its hinges.
24. A curst cow has short horns.
25. A danger foreseen is half avoided.
26. A drop in the bucket.
27. A drowning man will catch at a straw.
28. A fair face may hide a foul heart.
29. A fault confessed is half redressed.
30. A fly in the ointment.
31. A fool always rushes to the fore.
32. A fool and his money are soon parted.
33. A fool at forty is a fool indeed.
34. A fool may ask more questions in an hour than a wise man can answer in seven years.
35. A fool may throw a stone into a well which a hundred wise men cannot pull out.
36. A fool's tongue runs before his wit.
37. A forced kindness deserves no thanks.
38. A foul morn may turn to a fair day.
39. A fox is not taken twice in the same snare.
40. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
43. A friend is never known till needed.
42. A friend to all is a friend to none.
43. A friend's frown is better than a foe's smile.
44. A good anvil does not fear the hammer.
45. A good beginning is half the battle.
46. A good beginning makes a good ending.
47. A good deed is never lost.
48. A good dog deserves a good bone.
49. A good example is the best sermon.
50. A good face is a letter of recommendation.
51. A good Jack makes a good Jill.
52. A good marksman may miss.
53. A good name is better than riches.
54. A good name is sooner lost than won.
55. A good name keeps its lustre in the dark.
56. A good wife makes a good husband.
57. A great dowry is a bed full of brambles.
58. A great fortune is a great slavery.
59. A great ship asks deep waters.
60. A guilty conscience needs no accuser.
61. A hard nut to crack.
62. A heavy purse makes a light heart.
63. A hedge between keeps friendship green.
64. A honey tongue, a heart of gall.
65. A hungry belly has no ears.
66. A hungry man is an angry man.
67. A Jack of all trades is master of none.
68. A Joke never gains an enemy but often loses a friend.
69. A lawyer never goes to law himself.
70. A lazy sheep thinks its wool heavy.
71. A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth.
72. A lie begets a lie.
73. A light purse is a heavy curse.
74. A light purse makes a heavy heart.
75. A little body often harbours a great soul.
76. A little fire is quickly trodden out.
77. A man can die but once.
78. A man can do no more than he can.
79. A man is known by the company he keeps.
80. A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
81. A miserly father makes a prodigal son.
82. A miss is as good as a mile.
83. A new broom sweeps clean.
84. A nod from a lord is a breakfast for a fool.
85. A penny saved is a penny gained.
86. A penny soul never came to twopence.
87. A quiet conscience sleeps in thunder.
88. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
89. A round peg in a square hole.
90. A shy cat makes a proud mouse.
91. A silent fool is counted wise.
92. A small leak will sink a great ship.
93. A soft answer turns away wrath.
94. A sound mind in a sound body.
95. A stitch in time saves nine.
96. A storm in a teacup.
97. A tattler is worse than a thief.
98. A thief knows a thief as a wolf knows a wolf.
99. A thief passes for a gentleman when stealing has made him rich.
100. A threatened blow is seldom given.
101. A tree is known by its fruit.
102. A wager is a fool's argument.
103. A watched pot never boils.
104. A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will.
105. A wolf in sheep's clothing.
106. A wonder lasts but nine days.
107. A word is enough to the wise.
108. A word spoken is past recalling.
109. Actions speak louder than words.
110. Adversity is a great schoolmaster.
111. Adversity makes strange bedfellows.
112. After a storm comes a calm.
113. After dinner comes the reckoning.
114. After dinner sit (sleep) a while, after supper walk a mile.
115. After rain comes fair weather.
116. After us the deluge.
117. Agues come on horseback, but go away on foot.
118. All are good lasses, but whence come the bad wives?
119. All are not friends that speak us fair.
120. All are not hunters that blow the horn.
121. All are not merry that dance lightly.
122. All are not saints that go to church.
123. All asses wag their ears.
124. All bread is not baked in one oven.
125. All cats are grey in the dark (in the night).
126. All covet, all lose.
127. All doors open to courtesy.
128. All is fish that comes to his net.
129. All is not lost that is in peril.
130. All is well that ends well.
131. All lay load on the willing horse.
132. All men can't be first.
133. All men can't be masters.
134. All promises are either broken or kept.
135. All roads lead to Rome .
136. All sugar and honey.
137. All that glitters is not gold.
138. All things are difficult before they are easy.
139. All truths are not to be told.
140. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
141. "Almost" never killed a fly (was never hanged).
142. Among the blind the one-eyed man is king.
143. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
144. An ass in a lion's skin.
145. An ass is but an ass, though laden with gold.
146. An ass loaded with gold climbs to the top of the castle.
147. An empty hand is no lure for a hawk.
148. An empty sack cannot stand upright.
149. An empty vessel gives a greater sound than a full barrel.
150. An evil chance seldom comes alone.
151. An honest tale speeds best, being plainly told.
152. An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.
153. An idle brain is the devil's workshop.
154. An ill wound is cured, not an ill name.
155. An oak is not felled at one stroke.
156. An old dog barks not in vain.
157. An open door may tempt a saint.
158. An ounce of discretion is worth a pound of learning.
159. An ox is taken by the horns, and a man by the tongue.
160. An unfortunate man would be drowned in a teacup.
161. Anger and haste hinder good counsel.
162. Any port in a storm.
163. Appearances are deceitful.
164. Appetite comes with eating.
165. As drunk as a lord.
166. As innocent as a babe unborn.
167. As like as an apple to an oyster.
168. As like as two peas.
169. As old as the hills.
170. As plain as the nose on a man's face.
171. As plain as two and two make four.
172. As snug as a bug in a rug .
173. As sure as eggs is eggs.
174. As the call, so the echo.
175. As the fool thinks, so the bell clinks.
176. As the old cock crows, so does the young.
177. As the tree falls, so shall it lie.
178. As the tree, so the fruit.
179. As welcome as flowers in May.
180. As welcome as water in one's shoes.
181. As well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb.
182. As you brew, so must you drink.
183. As you make your bed, so must you lie on it.
184. As you sow, so shall you reap.
185. Ask no questions and you will be told no lies.
186. At the ends of the earth.
187. Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune .
188. Bad news has wings.
189. Barking does seldom bite.
190. Be slow to promise and quick to perform.
191. Be swift to hear, slow to speak.
192. Beauty is but skin-deep.
193. Beauty lies in lover's eyes.
194. Before one can say Jack Robinson.
195. Before you make a friend eat a bushel of salt with him.
196. Beggars cannot be choosers.
197. Believe not all that you see nor half what you hear.
198. Best defence is offence.
199. Better a glorious death than a shameful life.
200. Better a lean peace than a fat victory.
201. Better a little fire to warm us, than a great one to burn us.
202. Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow.
203. Better an open enemy than a false friend.
204. Better be alone than in bad company.
205. Better be born lucky than rich.
206. Better be envied than pitied.
207. Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion.
208. Better deny at once than promise long.
209. Better die standing than live kneeling.
210. Better early than late.
211. Better give a shilling than lend a half-crown.
212. Better go to bed supperless than rise in debt.
213. Better late than never.
214. Better lose a jest than a friend.
215. Better one-eyed than stone-blind.
216. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
217. Better the foot slip than the tongue.
218. Better to do well than to say well.
219. Better to reign in hell, than serve in heaven.
220. Better unborn than untaught.
221. Better untaught than ill-taught.
222. Between the cup and the lip a morsel may slip.
223. Between the devil and the deep (blue) sea.
224. Between two evils 'tis not worth choosing.
225. Between two stools one goes (falls) to the ground.
226. Between the upper and nether millstone.
227. Betwixt and between.
228. Beware of a silent dog and still water.
229. Bind the sack before it be full.
230. Birds of a feather flock together.
231. Blind men can judge no colours.
232. Blood is thicker than water.
233. Borrowed garments never fit well.
234. Brevity is the soul of wit.
235. Burn not your house to rid it of the mouse.
236. Business before pleasure.
237. By doing nothing we learn to do ill.
238. By hook or by crook.
239. By the street of 'by-and-bye' one arrives at the house of 'Never'.
240. Calamity is man's true touchstone.
241. Care killed the cat.
242. Catch the bear before you sell his skin.
243. Caution is the parent of safety.
244. Charity begins at home.
245. Cheapest is the dearest.
246. Cheek brings success.
247. Children and fools must not play with edged tools.
248. Children are poor men's riches.
249. Choose an author as you choose a friend.
250. Christmas comes but once a year, (but when it comes it brings good cheer).
251. Circumstances alter cases.
252. Claw me, and I will claw thee.
253. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
254. Company in distress makes trouble less.
255. Confession is the first step to repentance.
256. Counsel is no command.
257. Creditors have better memories than debtors.
258. Cross the stream where it is shallowest.
259. Crows do not pick crow's eyes.
260. Curiosity killed a cat.
261. Curses like chickens come home to roost.
262. Custom is a second nature.
263. Custom is the plague of wise men and the idol of fools.
264. Cut your coat according to your cloth.
265. Death is the grand leveller.
266. Death pays all debts.
267. Death when it comes will have no denial.
268. Debt is the worst poverty.
269. Deeds, not words.
270. Delays are dangerous.
271. Desperate diseases must have desperate remedies.
272. Diligence is the mother of success (good luck).
273. Diseases are the interests of pleasures.
274. Divide and rule.
275. Do as you would be done by.
276. Dog does not eat dog.
277. Dog eats dog.
278. Dogs that put up many hares kill none.
279. Doing is better than saying.
280. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
281. Don't cross the bridges before you come to them.
282. Don't have thy cloak to make when it begins to rain.
283. Don't keep a dog and bark yourself.
284. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
285. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
286. Don't sell the bear's skin before you've caught it.
287. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
288. Don't whistle (halloo) until you are out of the wood.
289. Dot your i's and cross your t's.
290. Draw not your bow till your arrow is fixed.
291. Drive the nail that will go.
292. Drunken days have all their tomorrow.
293. Drunkenness reveals what soberness conceals.
294. Dumb dogs are dangerous.
295. Each bird loves to hear himself sing.
296. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
297. Easier said than done.
298. East or West ? home is best.
299. Easy come, easy go.
300. Eat at pleasure, drink with measure.
301. Empty vessels make the greatest (the most) sound.
302. Enough is as good as a feast.
303. Envy shoots at others and wounds herself.
304. Even reckoning makes long friends.
305. Every ass loves to hear himself bray.
306. Every barber knows that.
307. Every bean has its black.
308. Every bird likes its own nest.
309. Every bullet has its billet.
310. Every country has its customs.
311. Every dark cloud has a silver lining.
312. Every day is not Sunday.
313. Every dog has his day.
314. Every dog is a lion at home.
315. Every dog is valiant at his own door.
316. Every Jack has his Jill.
317. Every man has a fool in his sleeve.
318. Every man has his faults.
319. Every man has his hobby-horse.
320. Every man is the architect of his own fortunes.
321. Every man to his taste.
322. Every miller draws water to his own mill.
323. Every mother thinks her own gosling a swan.
324. Every one's faults are not written in their foreheads.
325. Every tub must stand on its own bottom.
326. Every white has its black, and every sweet its sour.
327. Every why has a wherefore.
328. Everybody's business is nobody's business.
329. Everything comes to him who waits.
330. Everything is good in its season.
331. Evil communications corrupt good manners.
332. Experience is the mother of wisdom.
333. Experience keeps a dear school, but fools learn in no other.
334. Experience keeps no school, she teaches her pupils singly.
335. Extremes meet.
336. Facts are stubborn things.
337. Faint heart never won fair lady.
338. Fair without, foul (false) within.
339. Fair words break no bones.
340. False friends are worse than open enemies.
341. Familiarity breeds contempt.
342. Far from eye, far from heart.
343. Fasting comes after feasting.
344. Faults are thick where love is thin.
345. Feast today and fast tomorrow.
346. Fine feathers make fine birds.
347. Fine words butter no parsnips.
348. First catch your hare.
349. First come, first served.
350. First deserve and then desire.
351. First think, then speak.
352. Fish and company stink in three days.
353. Fish begins to stink at the head.
354. Follow the river and you'll get to the sea.
355. Fool's haste is no speed.
356. Fools and madmen speak the truth.
357. Fools grow without watering.
358. Fools may sometimes speak to the purpose.
359. Fools never know when they are well.
360. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
361. For the love of the game.
362. Forbearance is no acquittance.
363. Forbidden fruit is sweet.
364. Forewarned is forearmed.
365. Fortune favours the brave (the bold).
366. Fortune is easily found, but hard to be kept.
367. Four eyes see more (better) than two.
368. Friends are thieves of time.
369. From bad to worse.
370. From pillar to post.
371. Gentility without ability is worse than plain beggary.
372. Get a name to rise early, and you may lie all day.
373. Gifts from enemies are dangerous.
374. Give a fool rope enough, and he will hang himself.
375. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.
376. Give him an inch and he'll take an ell.
377. Give never the wolf the wether to keep.
378. Gluttony kills more men than the sword.
379. Go to bed with the lamb and rise with the lark.
380. Good clothes open all doors.
381. Good counsel does no harm.
382. Good health is above wealth.
383. Good masters make good servants.
384. Good words and no deeds.
385. Good words without deeds are rushes and reeds.
386. Gossiping and lying go hand in hand.
387. Grasp all, lose all.
388. Great barkers are no biters.
389. Great boast, small roast.
390. Great cry and little wool.
391. Great spenders are bad lenders.
392. Great talkers are great liars.
393. Great talkers are little doers.
394. Greedy folk have long arms.
395. Habit cures habit.
396. Half a loaf is better than no bread.
397. "Hamlet" without the Prince of Denmark .
398. Handsome is that handsome does.
399. Happiness takes no account of time.
400. Happy is he that is happy in his children.
401. Hard words break no bones.
402. Hares may pull dead lions by the beard.
403. Harm watch, harm catch.
404. Haste makes waste.
405. Hasty climbers have sudden falls.
406. Hate not at the first harm.
407. Hatred is blind, as well as love.
408. Hawks will not pick hawks' eyes.
409. He begins to die that quits his desires.
410. He cannot speak well that cannot hold his tongue.
411. He carries fire in one hand and water in the other.
412. He dances well to whom fortune pipes.
413. He gives twice who gives in a trice.
414. He goes long barefoot that waits for dead man's shoes.
415. He is a fool that forgets himself.
416. He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.
417. He is happy that thinks himself so.
418. He is lifeless that is faultless.
419. He is not fit to command others that cannot command himself.
420. He is not laughed at that laughs at himself first.
421. He is not poor that has little, but he that desires much.
422. He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
423. He knows best what good is that has endured evil.
424. He knows how many beans make five.
425. He knows much who knows how to hold his tongue.
426. He laughs best who laughs last.
427. He lives long that lives well.
428. He must needs swim that is held up by the chin.
429. He should have a long spoon that sups with the devil.
430. He smells best that smells of nothing.
431. He that comes first to the hill may sit where he will.
432. He that commits a fault thinks everyone speaks of it.
433. He that does you an i!i turn will never forgive you.
434. He that fears every bush must never go a-birding.
435. He that fears you present wiil hate you absent.
436. He that goes a borrowing, goes a sorrowing.
437. He that goes barefoot must not plant thorns.
438. He that has a full purse never wanted a friend.
439. He that has a great nose thinks everybody is speaking of it.
440. He that has an ill name is half hanged.
441. He that has no children knows not what love is.
442. He that has He head needs no hat.
443. He that has no money needs no purse.
444. He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned.
445. He that is full of himself is very empty.
446. He that is ill to himself will be good to nobody.
447. He that is warm thinks all so.
448. He that knows nothing doubts nothing.
449. He that lies down with dogs must rise up with fleas.
450. He that lives with cripples learns to limp.
451. He that mischief hatches, mischief catches.
452. He that never climbed never fell.
453. He that once deceives is ever suspected.
454. He that promises too much means nothing.
455. He that respects not is not respected.
456. He that seeks trouble never misses.
457. He that serves everybody is paid by nobody.
458. He that serves God for money will serve the devil for better wages.
459. He that spares the bad injures the good.
460. He that talks much errs much.
461. He that talks much lies much.
462. He that will eat the kernel must crack the nut.
463. He that will not when he may, when he will he shall have nay.
464. He that will steal an egg will steal an ox.
465. He that will thrive, must rise at five.
466. He that would eat the fruit must climb the tree.
467. He that would have eggs must endure the cackling of hens.
468. He who is born a fool is never cured.
469. He who hesitates is lost.
470. He who likes borrowing dislikes paying.
471. He who makes no mistakes, makes nothing.
472. He who pleased everybody died before he was born.
473. He who says what he likes, shall hear what he doesn't like.
474. He who would catch fish must not mind getting wet.
475. He who would eat the nut must first crack the shell.
476. He who would search for pearls must dive below.
477. He will never set the Thames on fire.
478. He works best who knows his trade.
479. Head cook and bottle-washer.
480. Health is not valued till sickness comes.
481. His money burns a hole in his pocket.
482. Honesty is the best policy.
483. Honey is not for the ass's mouth.
484. Honey is sweet, but the bee stings.
485. Honour and profit lie not in one sack.
486. Honours change manners.
487. Hope is a good breakfast, but a bad supper.
488. Hope is the poor man's bread.
489. Hunger breaks stone walls.
490. Hunger finds no fault with cookery.
491. Hunger is the best sauce.
492. Hungry bellies have no ears.
493. Idle folks lack no excuses.
494. Idleness is the mother of all evil.
495. Idleness rusts the mind.
496. If an ass (donkey) bray at you, don't bray at him.
497. If ifs and ans were pots and pans...
498. If my aunt had been a man, she'd have been my uncle.
499. If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
500. If the sky falls, we shall catch larks.
501. If there were no clouds, we should not enjoy the sun.
502. If things were to be done twice all would be wise.
503. If we can't as we would, we must do as we can.
504. If wishes were horses, beggars might ride.
505. If you agree to carry the calf, they'll make you carry the cow.
506. If you cannot bite, never show your teeth.
507. If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you have.
508. If you dance you must pay the fiddler.
509. If you laugh before breakfast you'll cry before supper.
510. If you run after two hares, you will catch neither.
511. If you sell the cow, you sell her milk too.
512. If you throw mud enough, some of it will stick.
513. If you try to please all you will please none.
514. If you want a thing well done, do it yourself.
515. Ill-gotten gains never prosper.
516. Ill-gotten, ill-spent.
517. In every beginning think of the end.
518. In for a penny, in for a pound.
519. In the country of the blind one-eyed man is a king.
520. In the end things will mend.
521. In the evening one may praise the day.
522. Iron hand (fist) in a velvet glove.
523. It is a good horse that never stumbles.
524. It is a long lane that has no turning.
525. It is a poor mouse that has only one hole.
526. It is an ill bird that fouls its own nest.
527. It is an ill wind that blows nobody good.
528. It is a silly fish, that is caught twice with the same bait.
529. It is easy to swim if another hoids up your chin (head).
530. It is enough to make a cat laugh.
531. It is good fishing in troubled waters.
532. It is never too late to learn.
533. It is no use crying over spilt milk.
534. It is the first step that costs.
535. It never rains but it pours.
536. It's as broad as it's long.
537. It's no use pumping a dry well.
538. It's one thing to flourish and another to fight.
539. It takes all sorts to make a world.
540. Jackdaw in peacock's feathers.
541. Jest with an ass and he will flap you in the face with his tail.
542. Judge not of men and things at first sight.
543. Just as the twig is bent, the tree is inclined.
544. Keep a thing seven years and you will find a use for it.
545. Keep your mouth shut and your ears open.
546. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
547. Last, but not least.
548. Laws catch flies, but let hornets go free.
549. Learn to creep before you leap.
550. Learn to say before you sing.
551. Learn wisdom by the follies of others.
552. Least said, soonest mended.
553. Leaves without figs.
554. Let bygones be bygones.
555. Let every man praise the bridge he goes over.
556. Let sleeping dogs lie.
557. Let well (enough) alone.
558. Liars need good memories.
559. Lies have short legs.
560. Life is but a span.
561. Life is not a bed of roses.
562. Life is not all cakes and ale (beer and skittles).
563. Like a cat on hot bricks.
564. Like a needle in a haystack.
565. Like begets like.
566. Like cures like.
567. Like father, like son.
568. Like draws to like.
569. Like master, like man.
570. Like mother, like daughter.
571. Like parents, like children.
572. Like priest, like people.
573. Like teacher, like pupil.
574. Little chips light great fires.
575. Little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
576. Little pigeons can carry great messages.
577. Little pitchers have long ears.
578. Little strokes fell great oaks.
579. Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape.
580. Little things amuse little minds.
581. Live and learn.
582. Live and let live.
583. Live not to eat, but eat to live.
584. Long absent, soon forgotten.
585. Look before you leap.
586. Look before you leap, but having leapt never look back.
587. Lookers-on see more than players.
588. Lord (God, Heaven) helps those (them) who help themselves.
589. Lost time is never found again.
590. Love cannot be forced.
591. Love in a cottage.
592. Love is blind, as well as hatred.
593. Love me, love my dog.
594. Love will creep where it may not go.
595. Make haste slowly.
596. Make hay while the sun shines.
597. Make or mar.
598. Man proposes but God disposes.
599. Many a fine dish has nothing on it.
600. Many a good cow has a bad calf.
601. Many a good father has but a bad son.
602. Many a little makes a mickle.
603. Many a true word is spoken in jest.
604. Many hands make light work.
605. Many men, many minds.
606. Many words hurt more than swords.
607. Many words will not fill a bushel.
608. Marriages are made in heaven.
609. Measure for measure.
610. Measure thrice and cut once.
611. Men may meet but mountains never.
612. Mend or end (end or mend).
613. Might goes before right.
614. Misfortunes never come alone (singly).
615. Misfortunes tell us what fortune is.
616. Money begets money.
617. Money has no smell.
618. Money is a good servant but a bad master.
619. Money often unmakes the men who make it.
620. Money spent on the brain is never spent in vain.
621. More haste, less speed.
622. Much ado about nothing.
623. Much will have more.
624. Muck and money go together.
625. Murder will out.
626. My house is my castle.
627. Name not a rope in his house that was hanged.
628. Necessity is the mother of invention.
629. Necessity knows no law.
630. Neck or nothing.
631. Need makes the old wife trot.
632. Needs must when the devil drives.
633. Neither fish nor flesh.
634. Neither here nor there.
635. Neither rhyme nor reason.
636. Never cackle till your egg is laid.
637. Never cast dirt into that fountain of which you have sometime drunk.
638. Never do things by halves.
639. Never fry a fish till it's caught.
640. Never offer to teach fish to swim.
641. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do (can be done) today.
642. Never quit certainty for hope.
643. Never too much of a good thing.
644. Never try to prove what nobody doubts.
645. Never write what you dare not sign.
646. New brooms sweep clean.
647. New lords, new laws.
648. Nightingales will not sing in a cage.
649. No flying from fate.
650. No garden without its weeds.
651. No great loss without some small gain.
652. No herb will cure love.
653. No joy without alloy.
654. No living man all things can.
655. No longer pipe, no longer dance.
656. No man is wise at all times.
657. No man loves his fetters, be they made of gold.
658. No news (is) good news.
659. No pains, no gains.
660. No song, no supper.
661. No sweet without (some) sweat.
662. No wisdom like silence.
663. None but the brave deserve the fair.
664. None so blind as those who won't see.
665. None so deaf as those that won't hear.
666. Nothing comes out of the sack but what was in it.
667. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
668. Nothing must be done hastily but killing of fleas.
669. Nothing so bad, as not to be good for something.
670. Nothing succeeds like success.
671. Nothing venture, nothing have.
672. Oaks may fall when reeds stand the storm.
673. Of two evils choose the least.
674. Old birds are not caught with chaff.
675. Old friends and old wine are best.
676. On Shank's mare.
677. Once bitten, twice shy.
678. Once is no rule (custom).
679. One beats the bush, and another catches the bird.
680. One chick keeps a hen busy.
681. One drop of poison infects the whole tun of wine.
682. One fire drives out another.
683. One good turn deserves another.
684. One law for the rich, and another for the poor.
685. One lie makes many.
686. One link broken, the whole chain is broken.
687. One man, no man.
688. One man's meat is another man's poison.
689. One scabby sheep will mar a whole flock.
690. One swallow does not make a summer.
691. One today is worth two tomorrow.
692. Open not your door when the devil knocks.
693. Opinions differ.
694. Opportunity makes the thief.
695. Out of sight, out of mind.
696. Out of the frying-pan into the fire.
697. Packed like herrings.
698. Patience is a plaster for all sores.
699. Penny-wise and pound-foolish.
700. Pleasure has a sting in its tail.
701. Plenty is no plague.
702. Politeness costs little (nothing), but yields much.
703. Poverty is no sin.
704. Poverty is not a shame, but the being ashamed of it is.
705. Practise what you preach.
706. Praise is not pudding.
707. Pride goes before a fall.
708. Procrastination is the thief of time.
709. Promise is debt.
710. Promise little, but do much.
711. Prosperity makes friends, and adversity tries them.
712. Put not your hand between the bark and the tree.
713. Rain at seven, fine at eleven.
714. Rats desert a sinking ship.
715. Repentance is good, but innocence is better.
716. Respect yourself, or no one else will respect you.
717. Roll my log and I will roll yours.
718. Rome was not built in a day.
719. Salt water and absence wash away love.
720. Saying and doing are two things.
721. Score twice before you cut once.
722. Scornful dogs will eat dirty puddings.
723. Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
724. Self done is soon done.
725. Self done is well done.
726. Self is a bad counsellor.
727. Self-praise is no recommendation.
728. Set a beggar on horseback and he'll ride to the devil.
729. Set a thief to catch a thief.
730. Shallow streams make most din.
731. Short debts (accounts) make long friends.
732. Silence gives consent.
733. Since Adam was a boy.
734. Sink or swim!
735. Six of one and half a dozen of the other.
736. Slow and steady wins the race.
737. Slow but sure.
738. Small rain lays great dust.
739. So many countries, so many customs.
740. So many men, so many minds.
741. Soft fire makes sweet malt.
742. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark .
743. Soon learnt, soon forgotten.
744. Soon ripe, soon rotten.
745. Speak (talk) of the devil and he will appear (is sure to appear).
746. Speech is silver but silence is gold.
747. Standers-by see more than gamesters.
748. Still waters run deep.
749. Stolen pleasures are sweetest.
750. Stretch your arm no further than your sleeve will reach.
751. Stretch your legs according to the coverlet.
752. Strike while the iron is hot.
753. Stuff today and starve tomorrow.
754. Success is never blamed.
755. Such carpenters, such chips.
756. Sweep before your own door.
757. Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves.
758. Take us as you find us.
759. Tarred with the same brush.
760. Tastes differ.
761. Tell that to the marines.
762. That cock won't fight.
763. That which one least anticipates soonest comes to pass.
764. That's a horse of another colour.
765. That's where the shoe pinches!
766. The beggar may sing before the thief (before a footpad).
767. The best fish smell when they are three days old.
768. The best fish swim near the bottom.
769. The best is oftentimes the enemy of the good.
770. The busiest man finds the most leisure.
771. The camel going to seek horns lost his ears.
772. The cap fits.
773. The cask savours of the first fill.
774. The cat shuts its eyes when stealing cream.
775. The cat would eat fish and would not wet her paws.
776. The chain is no stronger than its weakest link.
777. The cobbler should stick to his last.
778. The cobbler's wife is the worst shod.
779. The darkest hour is that before the dawn.
780. The darkest place is under the candlestick.
781. The devil is not so black as he is painted.
782. The devil knows many things because he is old.
783. The devil lurks behind the cross.
784. The devil rebuking sin.
785. The dogs bark, but the caravan goes on.
786. The Dutch have taken Holland !
787. The early bird catches the worm.
788. The end crowns the work.
789. The end justifies the means.
790. The evils we bring on ourselves are hardest to bear.
791. The exception proves the rule.
792. The face is the index of the mind.
793. The falling out of lovers is the renewing of love.
794. The fat is in the fire.
795. The first blow is half the battle.
796. The furthest way about is the nearest way home.
797. The game is not worth the candle.
798. The heart that once truly loves never forgets.
799. The higher the ape goes, the more he shows his tail.
800. The last drop makes the cup run over.
801. The last straw breaks the camel's back.
802. The leopard cannot change its spots.
803. The longest day has an end.
804. The mill cannot grind with the water that is past.
805. The moon does not heed the barking of dogs.
806. The more haste, the less speed.
807. The more the merrier.
808. The morning sun never lasts a day.
809. The mountain has brought forth a mouse.
810. The nearer the bone, the sweeter the flesh.
811. The pitcher goes often to the well but is broken at last.
812. The pot calls the kettle black.
813. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
814. The receiver is as bad as the thief.
815. The remedy is worse than the disease.
816. The rotten apple injures its neighbours.
817. The scalded dog fears cold water.
818. The tailor makes the man.
819. The tongue of idle persons is never idle.
820. The voice of one man is the voice of no one.
821. The way (the road) to hell is paved with good intentions.
822. The wind cannot be caught in a net.
823. The work shows the workman.
824. There are lees to every wine.
825. There are more ways to the wood than one.
826. There is a place for everything, and everything in its place.
827. There is more than one way to kill a cat.
828. There is no fire without smoke.
829. There is no place like home.
830. There is no rose without a thorn.
831. There is no rule without an exception.
832. There is no smoke without fire.
833. There's many a slip 'tween (== between) the cup and the lip.
834. There's no use crying over spilt milk.
835. They are hand and glove.
836. They must hunger in winter that will not work in summer.
837. Things past cannot be recalled.
838. Think today and speak tomorrow.
839. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
840. Time and tide wait for no man.
841. Time cures all things.
842. Time is money.
843. Time is the great healer.
844. Time works wonders.
845. To add fuel (oil) to the fire (flames).
846. To angle with a silver hook.
847. To be born with a silver spoon in one's mouth.
848. To be head over ears in debt.
849. To be in one's birthday suit.
850. To be up to the ears in love.
851. To be wise behind the hand.
852. To beat about the bush.
853. To beat the air.
854. To bring grist to somebody's mill.
855. To build a fire under oneself.
856. To buy a pig in a poke.
857. To call a spade a spade.
858. To call off the dogs.
859. To carry coals to Newcastle.
860. To cast pearls before swine.
861. To cast prudence to the winds.
862. To come away none the wiser.
863. To come off cheap.
864. To come off with a whole skin.
865. To come off with flying colours.
866. To come out dry.
867. To come out with clean hands.
868. To cook a hare before catching him.
869. To cry with one eye and laugh with the other.
870. To cut one's throat with a feather.
871. To draw (pull) in one's horns.
872. To drop a bucket into an empty well.
873. To draw water in a sieve.
874. To eat the calf in the cow's belly.
875. To err is human.
876. To fiddle while Rome is burning.
877. To fight with one's own shadow.
878. To find a mare's nest.
879. To fish in troubled waters.
880. To fit like a glove.
881. To flog a dead horse.
882. To get out of bed on the wrong side.
883. To give a lark to catch a kite.
884. To go for wool and come home shorn.
885. To go through fire and water (through thick and thin).
886. To have a finger in the pie.
887. To have rats in the attic.
888. To hit the nail on the head.
889. To kick against the pricks.
890. To kill two birds with one stone.
891. To know everything is to know nothing.
892. To know on which side one's bread is buttered.
893. To know what's what.
894. To lay by for a rainy day.
895. To live from hand to mouth.
896. To lock the stable-door after the horse is stolen.
897. To look for a needle in a haystack.
898. To love somebody (something) as the devil loves holy water.
899. To make a mountain out of a molehill.
900. To make both ends meet.
901. To make the cup run over.
902. To make (to turn) the air blue.
903. To measure another man's foot by one's own last.
904. To measure other people's corn by one's own bushel.
905. To pay one back in one's own coin.
906. To plough the sand.
907. To pour water into a sieve.
908. To pull the chestnuts out of the fire for somebody.
909. To pull the devil by the tail.
910. To put a spoke in somebody's wheel.
911. To put off till Doomsday.
912. To put (set) the cart before the horse.
913. To rob one's belly to cover one's back.
914. To roll in money.
915. To run with the hare and hunt with the hounds.
916. To save one's bacon.
917. To send (carry) owls to Athens .
918. To set the wolf to keep the sheep.
919. To stick to somebody like a leech.
920. To strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.
921. To take counsel of one's pillow.
922. To take the bull by the horns.
923. To teach the dog to bark.
924. To tell tales out of school.
925. To throw a stone in one's own garden.
926. To throw dust in somebody's eyes.
927. To throw straws against the wind.
928. To treat somebody with a dose of his own medicine.
929. To use a steam-hammer to crack nuts.
930. To wash one's dirty linen in public.
931. To wear one's heart upon one's sleeve.
932. To weep over an onion.
933. To work with the left hand.
934. Tomorrow come never.
935. Too many cooks spoil the broth.
936. Too much knowledge makes the head bald.
937. Too much of a good thing is good for nothing.
938. Too much water drowned the miller .
939. Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
940. True blue will never stain.
941. True coral needs no painter's brush.
942. Truth comes out of the mouths of babes and sucklings.
943. Truth is stranger than fiction.
944. Truth lies at the bottom of a well.
945. Two blacks do not make a white.
946. Two heads are better than one.
947. Two is company, but three is none.
948. Velvet paws hide sharp claws.
949. Virtue is its own reward.
950. Wait for the cat to jump.
951. Walls have ears.
952. Wash your dirty linen at home.
953. Waste not, want not.
954. We know not what is good until we have lost it.
955. We never know the value of water till the well is dry.
956. We shall see what we shall see.
957. We soon believe what we desire.
958. Wealth is nothing without health.
959. Well begun is half done.
960. What can't be cured, must be endured.
961. What is bred in the bone will not go out of the flesh.
962. What is done by night appears by day.
963. What is done cannot be undone.
964. What is got over the devil's back is spent under his belly.
965. What is lost is lost.
966. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
967. What is worth doing at alt is worth doing well.
968. What must be, must be.
969. What the heart thinks the tongue speaks.
970. What we do willingly is easy.
971. When angry, count a hundred.
972. When at Rome, do as the Romans do.
973. When children stand quiet, they have done some harm.
974. When flatterers meet, the devil goes to dinner.
975. When guns speak it is too late to argue.
976. When pigs fly.
977. When Queen Anne was alive.
978. When the cat is away, the mice will play.
979. When the devil is blind.
980. When the fox preaches, take care of your geese.
981. When the pinch comes, you remember the old shoe.
982. When three know it, alt know it.
983. When wine is in wit is out.
984. Where there's a will, there's a way.
985. While the grass grows the horse starves.
986. While there is life there is hope.
987. Who breaks, pays.
988. Who has never tasted bitter, knows not what is sweet.
989. Who keeps company with the wolf, will learn to howl.
990. Wise after the event.
991. With time and patience the leaf of the mulberry becomes satin.
992. Words pay no debts.
993. You can take a horse to the water but you cannot make him drink.
994. You cannot eat your cake and have it.
995. You cannot flay the same ox twice.
996. You cannot judge a tree by it bark.
997. You cannot teach old dogs new tricks.
998. You cannot wash charcoal white.
999. You made your bed, now lie in it.
1000. Zeal without knowledge is a runaway horse.

Comments on the US Economy

Not sure if this was really said by Mr. Faber but the content seems true and plausible.


Marc Faber's comment on US economy - TOO GOOD


Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

'The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part.'

Quotes



1. When Snake is alive, Snake eats Ants.
When Snake is dead, Ants eat Snake.
Time can turn at any time.
Don't neglect anyone in your life........ ...

2. Never make the same mistake twice,
There are so many new ones,
Try a different one each day.

3. A good way to change someone's attitude is to change our own.
Because, the same sun melts butter, also hardens clay!
Life is as we think, so think beautifully.

4. Life is just like a sea, we are moving without end.
Nothing stays with us,
what remain is just the memories of some people who touched us as Waves.

5. Whenever you want to know how rich you are?
Never count your currency,
just try to Drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that- that is true richness.

6. Heart tells the eyes see less, because you see and I suffer lot.
Eyes replied, feel less because you feel and I cry a lot.

7. Never change your originality for the sake of others,
because no one can play your role better than you.
So be yourself, because whatever you are, YOU are the best.
8. Baby mosquito came back after 1st time flying.
His dad asked him "How do you feel?"
He replied "It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!"
Now thats what I call Positive Attitude

Woman Actually Wants to Be the Fattest in the World






Believe it or not, there are women out there who would love to gain weight, instead of losing it. And I’m not talking about some anorexic chic, who needs to gain weight, but about a woman who already wears XXXXXXXL clothes.
42-year-old Donna Simpson weighs 600 lbs, but she’s working hard to put on even more weight, and reach her goal of 1,000 lbs, as soon as possible. It’s not exactly the most craved title in the world, but Donna actually wants to be the fattest woman in the world. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as you might think, especially since she’s constantly burning precious calories, by “running” after her 3-year-old daughter.
Donna has already been acknowledged as the world’s fattest mother, by Guinness, after going through a dangerous C-section operation. Now, the overweight New Jersey resident is eating monstrous quantities of fast-food and sweets, in her quest to get a heart-attack become the fattest woman on the planet.