How To Do Better Sex?

John Bush Was On The Jenny Doll Show, And Bragged, That Despite His 97 Years, He Could Still Have Sex Three Times A Night. After The Show, Jenny Said: "John, If I'm Not Being Too Forward, I'd Love To Have Sex With An Older Man. Let's Go Back To My Place" So They Go Back To Her Place And Have Great Sex. Afterwards, John Says: "If You Think That Was Good, Let Me Sleep For A Half Hour, And We Can Have Even Better Sex. But While I'm Sleeping, Hold My Testicles In Your Left Hand, And My Penis In Your Right Hand." She Says Okay. He Sleeps For Half An Hour, Awakens, And They Have Even Better Sex. John Says: "Jenny, That Was Wonderful. But If You Let Me Sleep For An Hour, We Can Have The Best Sex Yet. But Again, Hold My Testicles In Your Left Hand, And My Penis In Your Right Hand." Jenny Says: "Great, John, But Tell Me, Does My Holding Your Organs Stimulate You While You're Sleeping?" John Replies: "No, But The Last Time I Slept With A Black Woman, She Stole My Wallet."

Meri Girlfriend Mujhse Bada Pyar Karti Hai

Hamare Pyare Dost Anuj Ka Kafi Time Se Ek Ladki Ke Sath Affair Chal Raha Tha. Usne Socha Ki Dekhu To Sahi Usne Mobile Mein Mera Number Kis Naam Se Save Kiya Hua Hai, Janu, Jaan Ya Sweetu. Ek Din Usne Uska Dhayan Banta Ke Mobile Chori Kiya Aur Apne Mobile Se Uspar Ring Kar Ke Dekha To Likha Aaya Chutiya No. 3 Is Calling ————— To Friends Aap Log Bhi Aaj Se Ye Check Karna Shuru Kar De, Kya Pata Asliyat Samne Aa Hi Jaye

Aik Baat Hai

 AIK BAAT HAI

College Wali..........Masaledar Hoti Hai,

Office Wali .......... Sweet Hoti Hai,

Ghar Wali .......... Phikki Hoti Hai,

Hotel Wali .......... Mast Hoti Hai,

5 Star Wali.......... Mehangi Hoti Hai,

Nukkar Wali.......Unhygenic Hoti Hai,

Lekin Aik Baat Hai......
.
Chai Akhir Chai Hoti Hai......

__._,_.___

Foreplay

Santa is licking, caressing and kissing his OWN fingers, palm & hand....

Banta : Why this madness?

Santa: This is foreplay.. before Masturbation !!

__._,_.___=

Akbar

 AKBAR WAS GAY

Teacher: Who was AKBAR?

Boy: Akbar was Gay!

Teacher(Shocked): Why?

Boy: We have heard.

LAILA-MAJNU,

HEER-RANJHA,

ADAM-EVE,

SONI-MAHIVAL

& Only

AKBAR-BIRBAL..???

__._,_.___

Komal

 
KOMAL

Santa looking at d name plate of Air Hostess stuck above her left breast.
KOMAL

With lots of confusion, he asked....Doosra (Right) Wala SAKHT hai kya?

__._,_.___

Share Market

Share market ne bhi kya din dikhaya hai.

Savera hote hee - secretary, girl friend, dhoban, kamvali, sab aik hi sawal puchti hain -

Aaj to upar charrhega na....!!?

__._,_.___

Yeh Raasta

 
Husbund ne Nashe me Biwi ki Chut par Ungli rakh k bola, "Ye Rasta kahan jata hai"

Biwi uska Lund pakar ke boli, "Is Harami se Pooch, Ye daily aata jata hai."

__._,_.___

Wife And Girlfriend

WIFE AND GIRLFRIEND

Wife is like a TV,

Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.

At home you watch TV,

But when you go out you take your MOBILE.

__._,_.___

Arz Kiya Hai

Arz hai

Usko aana hoga to khud hi chali ayegi

wah wah

Usko aana hoga to khud hi chali aayegi

U baith k toilet mai zor lagane se kya faida

__._,_.___

Nasbandhi Ka Operation

 Nasbandhi Ka Operation

NAUKRANI:- Mem saab mai PREGNANT hoon.

MEMSAAB:- Badhai ho apna khayal rakhna.

NAUKRANI:- Aap bhee khayal rakhna, saab ki NASBANDHI ka operation theek se nahi hua hai

__._,_.___

Too Big

 TOO BIG

A man and his wife wanted to do something special for their 25th wedding anniversary, so they decided to go on a second honeymoon.

The wife insisted that everything be the same as their first one.

Her husband agreed, and told her to work it out, and make a list.

This she did. Same city, same hotel, same room; everything perfect. However, in going over the list, the husband said, "Well dear, this is great. But I do see one thing that's going to be a little bit different this time.

She carefully went back over the list, checking every line. "I don't see anything different here. What do you see that I don't?"

Well, this time, I'm going to be the one sitting on the edge of the bed crying, "It's too big! It's too big!!

__._,_.___

Manifesto

 

WHISKEY

In 1952, Armon M. Sweat, Jr., a member of the Texas House of Representatives, was asked about his position on whiskey. What follows is his exact answer (taken from the Political Archives of Texas):
 
"If you mean whiskey, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber of my being.
 
However, if by whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into Texas treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it.

This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle."

__._,_.___

Brief Psychology on Politics

This is a brief note on Psychology

 

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and, inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

 

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water.   After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with same result .... all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.  Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

 

Now, put the cold water away.  Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.   The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

 

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.  The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.    The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment... with enthusiasm.

 

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then the fifth.  Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

 

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway to the banana.

 

Why, you ask?  Because in their minds .... that is the way it has always been.

 

This is how Politics operates .... and is why, from time to time, ALL OF THE MONKEYS NEED TO BE REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME!

29-Year-Old Becomes Britain's Youngest Grandfather

 29-Year-Old Becomes Britain's Youngest Grandfather

A dad has become Britain's youngest grand-father at the age of 29 after his daughter gave birth at 14. Shem Davies was also 14 when he became a father for the first time. Now, schoolgirl daughter Tia has had a baby girl a week before her 15th birthday.

Jobless Shem who split with Tia's mum Kelly three months after Tia was born - said he was "absolutely delighted" at the new arrival. Tiny Ava Grace is in an incubator after she was born ten weeks early. But the family said she is "doing remarkably well" at the special care baby unit where she is being cared for in South Wales.


Shem spoke of his shock when Tia told him she was pregnant by her 15-year-old boyfriend Jordan Williams. The grandad who has a nine-month-old son with new girlfriend Robyn Thomas said, "One minute Tia's a baby, the next she's pregnant. I could have yelled at her, but what's the point?" He added, "I wasn't able to cope with it and I ran away." Shem and Kelly have both been supporting Tia as she watches over Ava Grace the sixth generation of the family alive.

Both parents are still in school and plan on finishing, with Tia seeing herself as a hairdresser in the future. Amazingly, Tia and Jordan have been dating for 18 months, meaning they were around 13 when they started going out. These young parents are part of the more than 35,000 kids under 18 who get pregnant in the UK each year. However, at least half of those kids get an abortion.

__._,_.___

Fishing

Fishing

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret.

The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.

Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface.

Sam took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam.

"You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!"

Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words, "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"

Columbia Muddy Buddy 2011

Mud Competition In Colorado Called Columbia Muddy Buddy 2011

Colorado in United States hosted their one more mud competitions, open to anyone and everyone. The idea is to cycle 10 kilometers in muddy terrains and last 50 meters literally crawl through mud.

__._,_.___

Lighter

 

__._,_.___

Hot Bikini-Clad Girls Set Shower Record

 Hot Bikini-Clad Girls Set Shower Record

A group of bikini-wearing girls have lathered up on Bournemouth beach in a bid to help set the world record for the most people to shower together. The record was set by 152 people who braved the chilly weather to lather up and get soapy with complete strangers under a giant 18-foot shower structure.

The event was organized by Lynx to promote their new shower gel and beat the previous record set in Illinois two years ago when 145 people showered together. The marketing geniuses at Lynx were smart enough to implant a lot of sexy models into the publicity stunt so that the photos and video were very pleasing to the eye. I would not have written this story had 152 hairy, fat guys in Speedos just show up.


Anna Orford, of Guinness World Records, said: "Lynx have constructed a fantastic showering tool, and the people of Bournemouth have to be applauded for getting into the spirit of the day and taking a shower together.

"Their reward is a new Guinness World Record for the most people showering simultaneously at the same venue. Congratulations to everyone involved!"

__._,_.___