Dirty Miscellaneous
The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want
everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it." Claude says,
"Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." The
teacher says, "Very good, Claude." Mary says, "The sky is very dark...
perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary." She calls
on Dirty Johnny in the back. "John?" Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got
home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants
down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna shit on the piano."
Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give
her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries,
she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give
you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges whatever
is given to her. So bear that in mind - if you give her any
crap, she'll give you a ton of shit.
{}{}{}{}{}
What defines a truly sensitive, 2011's type guy?
-He doesn't make his girlfriend blow him after he buttfucks her.
Why is having a good shit better than sex?
-Because you don't have to kiss it afterwards!
Q: What do you call a 200 lb. woman who likes to screw men and
women at the same time?
A: A bisexual built for two.
Q: What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
A: Gladiator.
There was a young girl named Sapphire,
Who succumbed to her lovers desire,
She said "Its a sin, but now that its in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
{}{}{}{}{}
A WOMAN'S REFLECTION ON MENOPAUSE:
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able
to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking
red dent on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
