Courses for women

Funny!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Women think they already know everything, but wait...
training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
5. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
6. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
9. Introduction to Parking
10. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
11. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
12. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
13. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
14. TV Remotes: For Men Only

Hurry!!!!!!! !! Enroll youself for one and get the remaining free........ ......... ......... ......... .....

THREE NUNS AT A BASEBALL GAME!

THREE NUNS AT A BASEBALL GAME!

 

>
> > THREE
> > MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND CHEERING FOR THE YANKEES.
> > BECAUSE THE NUNS' HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THEIR
> > VIEW, THEY DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D
> > GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA.
> >
> > IN A
> > VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, 
> >
> > "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH .  THERE
> > ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE."
> >
> > THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND
> > SAID, 
> >
> > "I
> > WANT TO GO TO
> >  MONTANA .  THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING
> > THERE." 
> >
> > THE THIRD GUY SAID, 
> >
> > "I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO .  THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS
> > LIVING
> > THERE." 
> >
> > THE MOTHER  SUPERIOR TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN,
> > AND IN A VERY SWEET AND
> >  CALM VOICE SAID,
> >
> >  
> >
> > "WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL ... THERE
> > AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE.
> > >

 

Little Johnny IN The Country

Little Johnny is visiting his cousin in the country and they decide to
go for a walk down the back roads. After about three miles they find a
used rubber lying by the road.

"Hey," Little Johnny, the dumbass city boys says, "look, some cow lost
one of its titties!"

"Let's go give it to the farmer!" says his cousin.

So, they work they way up to the farmhouse. They knock on the door and
out comes the farmer.

"Hey, Mister, we found a cow titty. Ya want it back?" says Little
Johnny.

The farmer didn't feel like conducting a mini sex ed seminar, said,
"Sure, uhhh, here's a dollar for your trouble."

Little Johnny hands over the rubber and head on back down the road.

After a little while Little Johnny says "You know, I bet we could have
got more than a buck if I hadn't drank the milk out of it!"

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

Two Ladies Talking in  Heaven
>
> 1st woman:      Hi! Wanda.
>
> 2nd woman:   Hi! Sylvia.  How'd you die?
>
> 1st woman:      I froze to death.
>
> 2nd woman:   How horrible!
>
> 1st woman:      It wasn't so bad. After I quit  shaking from the cold,
> I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
> about you?
>
> 2nd woman:   I died of a  massive heart attack. I suspected that my
> husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
> But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
>
> 1st woman:      So, what happened?
>
> 2nd woman:   I was so sure there was another woman  there somewhere
> that I started running all over the house looking.. I ran up into the
> attic and searched, and down into the basement.  Then I went through
> every closet and checked under all the beds.  I kept this up until I
> had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
> keeled over with a heart attack and died.
>
> 1st woman:   Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
>