Mar 7, 2010

Indian Filmi Dialogues

10.    Kuttay, Kameenay mai tumhe jaan se maar doonga


9.     Mai tumhara ehasaan zindagi bhar nahin bhuloonga


8.     Itnay paisay tum kahan se laaye?


7.     Main tumharay bina mar jaa-oongi.


6.     Bacchhhaaaaaooooo.....


5.     Yeh anyay hai bhagwan


4.     Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.


3.     Tum may-re liye mar chuke ho.


2.     Police meeray peechay lagi hui hai.


----> And the number one statement is ....
1.     Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa ban-nay waali hoon.

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Here are the best of the rest...


- Ghar mein do javaan betiyan hain


- lo...muh meetha kar lo


- Mein yeh shaadi nahin hone doongi


- Aaj pinky ka janam din hai


- Yeh aap kya kah rahen hai, bhai sahib


- Bhaiya !!!!!!!!!!


- Ma, tum kitni achchi ho


- Aaj mein bahut khush hoon
(usually to be followed by a tragicturn of events)


- Arre isse to tez bukhar hai


- Nikal jaa mere ghar say...


- Hatoe naa, log kiya kahengay


- khabardaar joe mujhay haat bhee lagaya

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the best:

- Tumne apni ma ka dudh piya hai to ...

- Gurkha, ise dhakke maarke bahar nikal do.

- Maine tumhe paal pos kar bada kiya..

- Ab tumari maa hamare kabze main hai

- Pulis (Police) ko tum jaise naujawanon par naaz hai

- Driver, gaadi roko

- Tum jaise gandi naali ke keede....

- Ek baar mujhe maa keh kar pukaro beta"

- Aur ye bechari begunnah hai. That's all, your honor

- Tazeerat-e-hind, dafa 302 ke tahat,

  Mulzim ko maut ki sazasunai jaati hai.

- Mulzim ko Baa izzat bari kiya jata hai

- Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahin rahe

- (hero/heroine opening their eyes on a hospital bed)
  Main kahan hun?

- Kya isi din ke liye tujhe paida kiya tha?

- "Maa main first class first pass ho gaya hu"
  followed by the jug jug jiyo beta

- "Yeh sauda thumhe bahut mehenga padega" ??

- Bhagwan, maine aaj tak tumse kuch nahin manga,  aaj pahli baarkuch maang........

- KANOON KE HAATH BAHUT LUMBE HOTE HAIN

- Aey jee! Aap bade woh haiN!

Nice

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The 1st lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz. "

Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious??
The first woman then asked her companion, " What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady. "Charm school??" the first woman cried, "Oh my God! What on earth for?"

The Southern lady responded, "Well for one thing, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that precious?"

Saudi Prince


Saudi Prince  goes to  Germany  to study.

A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying:
"Berlin  is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school
with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."
Sometime later he gets a letter from his dadwith a ten  million dollar check saying:
"Stop embarrassing us!
go and  get yourself a train too!"

This is attitude


This is attitude
IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE..A LIFE ENDS.
IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN...... .LIFE BEGINS.
GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN


This is attitude
IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE.
THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE ....... BECAUSE OF EGO

This is attitude
WHY WE HAVE SO MANY TEMPLES, IF GOD IS EVERYWHERE ?
A WISE MAN SAID :
AIR IS EVERYWHERE,
BUT WE STILL NEED A FAN TO FEEL IT


This is attitude
WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT
ANY DOUBT....... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO :
EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON

This is attitude
LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE ........
IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK

This is attitude
SOLDIER : SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES ,
MAJOR : EXCELLENT ! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION

This is attitude
THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " IT HURTS
WHEN YOU LOSE IT. THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS "
BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, WHEN
YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.

This is attitude
"You never conquer a mountain. You stand on the summit a few moments;
then the wind blows your footprints away."
-Arlene Blum


This is attitude
I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.�
Chinese proverb

This is attitude
The greatest waste in the world is the difference
between what we are and what we could become.

A True Scientific Lover ......!!

Naa ye CHEMISTRY hoti, na me STUDENT hota Na wo LAB hoti, na wo LOVE ACCIDENT hota

Tabhi PRACTICAL ke waqt nazar aayi ek larki khubsurat si, naak uski TEST TUBE jaisi

Uski baaton me GLUCOSE ki mithas thi, ETHYL ALCOHOL si thandi uski saans thi

Andhere me woh RADIUM ki tarah chamakti thi, jab aankh mili to REACTION hua, love ka PRODUCTION hua!

Phir to lagnay lagay uske ghar ke chakkar aise, NUCLEUS ke charon taraf ELECTRON jaise

Jis din TEST ka PERFECTION tha us din uske abbaaji se hamara INTRODUCTION tha

Mano IGNITION TUBE se SODIUM ke piece nikal parre wo bole hosh me aao, pehchano apni aukat IRON kabhi mil nahi sakta GOLD ke saath!

Is tarah torr diya unhone hamare armano ka BEAKER hum chup hi reh gaye BENJALDEHYDE ka ghoont pikar.

Ab unki yadon ke bina hamara kaam chalta nahi hain zindagi ho gayi ab UNSATURATED CARBON ki tarah, bekar ghumte ab hum awaara HYDROGEN ki tarah.
              

Me Leo The Boss and You !!!

Chris Angel showed how this worked on one of his shows, but it was still kind of surprising when I checked out several people I knew. Not superstitious, but I need all the luck I can get. Once you have opened this e-mail, there ' s no turning back. Below are True descriptions of zodiac signs. Read your sign, and then forward it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line. This is the real Deal, try ignoring or changing it, and the first thing you ' ll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets Worse from there.



Remember, if you are on the cusp of another sign you most likely will l have features of both signs...which may lead you into total confusion......

Capricorn The Go-Getter (December 22 - January 19)



Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times.. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want. 20 years of good luck if you forward.



Aquarius The Sweetheart (January 20 - February 18)



Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of luck if you forward.



Pisces The Dreamer (February 19 - March 20)



Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 20 years of good luck if you forward.



Aries The Daredevil (March 21 - April 19)



Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered..) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of good luck if you forward.



Taurus The Enduring One (April 20- May 20)



Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of good luck if you forward



Gemini The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20)



Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.



Cancer The Protector (June 21 - July 22)



Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.



Leo The Boss (July 23- August 22)



Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive. 13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.



Virgo The Perfectionist (August 23 - September 22)



Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.



Libra The Harmonizer (September 23 - October 22)



Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.



Scorpio The Intense One (October 23 - November 21)



Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Sagittarius The Happy-Go-Lucky One (November 22 - Dec 21)



Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out. A lifetime of good luck if you forward.



Ready .. set..... . .. GO!



1-3 people= 1 minute of luck
4-7 people= 1 hour of luck
8-12 people = 1 day of luck
13-17 People = 1 week of luck
18-22 people = 1 month of luck
23-27 people = 3 Months of luck
28-32 people = 7 months of luck
33-37 people = 1 year of luck

Killing English…very funny


Principal to student…” I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette… ? ” ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Class teacher once said :
” pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

once hindi teacher said….”i’m going out of the world to america..”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

“..DON’T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

teacher in a furious mood…
write down ur name and father of ur name!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ****


“shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

My manager started like this
“Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”


************ ********* ********* ********* ****

“I’ll illustrate what i have in my mind” said the professor and erased the board

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

“will u hang that calender or else i’ll HANG MYSELF”

************ ********* ********* ************ *

LIBRARIAN SCOLDED ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Chemistry HOD comes and tells …
“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
“I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away”

AMAZING STORY

An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to
spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in
prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned
his situation:

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t
be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to
miss doing the garden, because your mother always
loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my
troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot
for me, if you weren’t in prison.

Love,
DadShortly, the old man received this telegram: “For
Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden!! That’s
where I buried the GUNS!!”

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and
local police officers showed up and dug up the entire
garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son
telling him what happened, and asked him what to do
next.

His son’s reply was: “Go ahead and plant your
potatoes, Dad.. It’s the best I could do for you from
here.”

Moral:

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE
DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN
DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU
ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.