Men talk and think a lot about sex while women desire it more often. We explore the reasons...'Men think, while women desire.' Gone are the days when 'demanding sex' was considered exclusively a man's forte. Today women demand sex greater than men. And they have no qualms about getting vocal about it. "I read these funny E-mail forwards that stress on men begging for sex and women denying it. It sounds so funny to me. It's totally the opposite in my case. While men can have a good laugh over it believing that this notion exists, I literally have to seduce my husband to get him hooked on to the act," quips production assistant Megha Mehra. And she is not alone. Many girls/women had a similar story.We spoke to women from different backgrounds to figure out what is making them addicted to sex.It's physically pleasurableAmongst all the other reasons to remain glued to sex, this is the most prominent one. Good sex satisfies your physical urge, which is very normal for anyone to experience. Psychologist Seema Naina opines, "Sex is the most basic need of any person. And I am increasingly getting cases where women are complaining that men are unable to satisfy their physical needs."Creates positive feelings about oneselfIdeally, great sex means you are enjoying the sexual act and participating equally. It makes you feel good about yourself, thus adding to your self esteem. Shares housewife Neelam Nehra, "When my husband comes back from a whole day at work and we have our sack session, it increases my self esteem. The very feeling that I am able to satisfy him is a great pleasure. And since I never want to go out of shape to look unappealing to my husband (and other men), it even acts as a motivation to work out and feel desirable." Wondering why?"Sex has healing powers. It generates positive emotions and makes one feel more confident. When a woman sees her man passionate in the act, admiring her body and moves, it infuses a lot of good feelings within her," opines psychologist Sunaina Bajaj.Brings them closer to their manPhysical intimacy releases hormone Oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. Agrees relationship expert Vandana Mitra, "I have always maintained that couples should never take sex casually. It's a very important ingredient for any relationship to sustain. It helps couples to nurture the relationship and strengthen the bond." So whoever said having more sex with your partner means lesser cases of infidelity, made sense.Content developer Prachi Sinha states, "I feel a major connect with my boyfriend after we make love. I just feel like being close to him. My faith in him and our relationship grows stronger." Prachi's boyfriend agrees, "When she told me about the 7 days a week sex, I initially could not stop laughing. I mean, this is not the only thing we have to do. But honestly it has got us closer. I just can't take my eyes off her even when we are moving in a crowd."Negates unwanted emotions/ Stress-relieverSex is not just a physical sensation but it's comforting and relaxing. Call centre executive Neetu Sharma shares her experience, "Whenever I have a bad day at work, sex really helps me unwind. It totally takes the stress out of my mind and makes me feel relaxed and rejuvenated." Psychologist Reena Kapur explains why. "Sex involves a lot of deep breathing and touching and the hormones that are released during the act calm you down."Great form of exerciseThirty minutes of sex burns more than 85 calories. We have read it almost everywhere that sex helps in burning calories. Confirms fitness consultant Stuti Batra, "While I do not suggest giving up work outs, doubling up the session makes you drop more weight." While this is the most deadly mix, many girls are seriously taking to it. "It may sound a little funny, but while making love I prefer to play the dominant role. It helps me burn greater calories, leaving my guy in ecstasy," says Payal Verma.Invokes passion"Sometimes I feel like a pervert, because I find myself always thinking about my boyfriend, and what we did the night before. It gives me a kick and makes me crave for our next sack session. He thinks I am crazy, but it really happens to me," shares call centre executive Richa Sharma."It is completely normal to imagine about sex. But I have heard it can freak a guy out- we men are still adapting to the concept of women demanding sex more than us. But we love that passion," admits psychologist Prateek.Image: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
Between busy work schedules, chores, family responsibilities and an endless to-do list, finding time for sex can be difficult. But sex is one thing that helps maintain a close level of intimacy with your partner and ensures that the relationship stays strong.Here are some ways you and your spouse can make time for love:Be romanticBring back that loving feeling by focusing on romance. Go out to a new restaurant, do something nice for each other and make sure your time together is just about the two of you. Devote one night to your spouse and the next to the other. Talk during the day about your plans for that evening, have a conversation about what you would like from your lover, add a romantic meal, start early in the night before you are tired and disallow TV or computer in the bedroom.Schedule itOne of the best ways to ensure you make time for sex is to schedule it. Set specific time aside for intimacy and let nothing remove it from the schedule. It might not seem that interesting and romantic, but it works. Unfortunately there are times when you can't be spontaneous so you have to put important things like this on a schedule.Communicate your likes and dislikesLike creating anticipation, talking about sex can also boost interest in spending more time in the bedroom. "Have a talk with your partner about what you would like in the bedroom. Sure it can be awkward, but sometimes you have to get over these hurdles to get things on track. Take turns discussing what you would like to see happen and what you want to try. The more honest you are, the easier it will be to start putting your sex life first.Create anticipationThere's no better way to get sex back onto your radar than to create some excitement around it. Devote separate nights to focusing on a different partner's needs and then talk to each other during the day about your plans for the other. But be careful. The rule is - it should be romantic. The more you look forward to sex, the more likely you are to want to make intimacy a priority.Just do it!It might sound bold, but why not initiate things yourself to get the ball rolling? Do not wait for your partner to start things. It can lead to night after night of nothing. If your partner rejects your advances, discuss it with your partner. Also, if there is a lack of desire in either of you, visit a relationship expert for counselling. Images: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
Here’s the truth: Your unit isn’t attractive. At all. Nor does it draw us to you in any way. If it did, you could just toss on the table during appetizers on the first date, and we’d go home with you.**
So what are some of those other qualities that turn a woman on? I can’t speak for all women, but here are five that do it for me—and, according to my friends, for them too.
Your Handwriting
Handwritten notes are so rare these days, which only makes them more of a turn on. Doesn’t matter if you’re using a pen, pencil, or crayon—we love it! Not only is it awesome to see effort beyond the four-word text, but a handwritten note is literally something we’ll treasure. Also, I think it is very sexy to see words such as beautiful in your chicken scratch. Something about sensitive words in rough manly handwriting makes me swoon.
Your Clean Smell
Emphasis on clean. I’m not into the sweaty man scent, but I’m all about the right-out-of-the-shower smell. Yum. A little Irish Spring and I’m yours. Just don’t go overboard. With most soaps and body washes—from Axe to Gillette—a little goes a long way. Don’t show up at my door smelling like you have pine cone hanging around your neck.
You Saying My Name
Get your mind out of gutter! I mean when you say my name out of the blue***. When you’re with someone all the time, you rarely call them by name—or you use a nickname. There’s something very sexy about hearing you say my name. Just throw it in there once in awhile to show you still remember it—and still respect me as an individual.
You Focusing on a Project
I love to see a guy working on a project—from building the fence in my backyard to cleaning the oven or planning a trip. Whatever it is, seeing raw dedication, focus, and ownership never gets old.
Your Blushing
So okay, I am way funnier than most of you, I realize that****. I love when I can zing ya with a great comeback and you know it was hilarious. But you don’t want to back down, so you blush with a tad bit of embarrassment. Or if I say something totally unexpected, and it makes you happy, you have a certain smirk. It is fantastic to see that vulnerability every once in awhile.
1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.
2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!
3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.
4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.
5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.
6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.
7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running.
8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.
9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.
10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film,You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate!
Here are ways to enhance your sex lifeThe art of conversationWhen was the last time you had a real conversation with your partner, where the two of you made requests and even promises? When was the last time you asked her intimate questions?Often, in a long-term relationship, we take things for granted and fall into a routine. Find out what her fantasies are without judging her or laughing. You will be surprised to learn that her fantasies are very different from yours. Bring a few role-playing games into the bedroom to shed your inhibitions. This opens up more room for conversation and this will bring you closer together.Men generally have very visual and carnal fantasies, but with women they are always about how the thoughts make them feel. Ask her to be honest and not worry about offending you or hurting your feelings. Ask her to show you what she likes and what she really dislikes.It is incredibly sad that because of lack of communication couples have to endure stuff that completely annoys or repels them. That too with the one person who is supposed to be a source of pleasure!Call her or send her a message during the day to ask her how she's doing. Let her know you are thinking of her and maybe thinking of the smell of her hair or the feel of her waist. Be sensual in your communication and not just not sexual. However, if she encourages you in her responses then go ahead, indulge is some 'sexting'--or sexual texting!Hit her spotNow for the part you have been dreading, and I am sure you will be shaking your head saying that this is my personal conspiracy favoring womankind. I promise you it is not what you're thinking!If you want more action in the bedroom, pick up some of the slack in the other rooms as well. If you are married with kids, be a good father, spend time with the kids. If you live together, help out around the house.Acknowledge that she needs rest just as much as you do. Guys often like to believe that when you come home from work, the TV should be yours and that you should not be disturbed while you unwind and that all your other needs should be fulfilled. But what about her needs?Try it out for a week and I am sure you will be much happier. A little bit of kindness and housework never killed any one! And if you even have the audacity to shout at her or snap at her or even worse, if you are rude to her and put her down, you can kiss good sex goodbye!You cannot expect your partner to do all the housework, look after the kids, be told off by you and then come to bed all turned on. She will come to bed alright, but she'll be exhausted and resentful. And those aren't ingredients for better sex!(The author is a certified life coach who offers her services at Multi Coaching International. When she's not teaching people how to have better sex, she's helping scores of corporates, educational institutes, and individuals better themselves using her unique coaching techniques.)Image: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been trying to patch up after Kristen was photographed getting cozy with director Rupert Sanders in July. The couple has sought the help of a counsellor, who advised them to sign a no-sex pact. This means that even though the two share the same living space, they will sleep in separate rooms for a month while they 'work on communicating, healing wounds and trust exercises'. We explore whether this is a practical solution for couples.
It's advisable
City-based counsellor Ian Faria says this kind of advice is given to couples in troubled relationships. He says, "Both partners might have different sex desires — husbands might have a bigger one, while the wife, not so much. Taking a month-long sabbatical helps, because it frees the wife of sexual obligations and will help her gather her thoughts. Earlier, wives would take breaks every year and visit their parents' home with the children, which doesn't happen now. This lack of space can make it suffocating to be in a relationship."
Abstinence is good
Model Faith Panday thinks abstinence is a good thing and says, "Abstinence is probably the best decision to make while in a relationship. These days, love is replaced by sex, which, in turn, begets a string of negatives that our generation is getting used to, especially with what they see around them and on the big screen. But facades can change and mistakes can be reversed. If Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart stay abstinent, good for them!"
It's all a gimmick
Fashion guru Prasad Bidapa thinks Robert and Kristen's no-sex pact might be a publicity stunt. "The timing seems suspect as their film is due for release soon. Nowadays, romance seems to be the most disposable thing. The personal lives of celebrities is always under scrutiny and they live under a lot of pressure, but when they don't get enough attention, they feel lost."
By Taniya Talukdar, TNN
2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.
3. When she's coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk toward her as soon as you see her.
4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.
5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.
6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.
7. Call her when you're feeling sad.
8. Kiss her eyelids.
9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.
10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.
11. If she's crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.
12. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.
13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.
14. Buy her your favorite rock album of all time on vinyl.
15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.
16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.
17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.
18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.
19. When she's feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.
20. Call her just before you get on the plane.
21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.
22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she's feeling down.
23. Take her to see your favorite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.
24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.
25. Shave just before you see her. She'll notice.
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.
27. Worship her Assets.
28. Give her jewelry.
29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)
30. Ask her specific questions about her work.
31. Keep her favorite cereal on hand.
32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.
33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.
34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.
35. Say her name when she goes down on you.
36. Read her a story when it's her turn to drive during a long road trip.
37. Offer to fix something in her apartment that you realize is broken.
38. Notice when she's wearing something new.
39. Have Sex with her standing up, against a wall.
40. If she's too stressed to want sex . . .
a) Draw a bath for her.
b) Give her a full-body massage.
c) Ask if she wants to wrestle.
"The myth that men prefer sex more than women will continually be popularised in the media due to each genders stereotyped sexual status; women are romantic and men just love sex... I do think these studies give the message women are disinterested in sex, but I think this is portrayed by how the study is represented," Stuff quoted Amanda Robb as saying.
According to Robb, stereotypes like women seeking an emotional connection through sex and men wanting just sex are each as damaging as the other.
"We also know that the notion men are 'always up for it' is one of the biggest misconceptions of all... I believe the desire for sexual frequency, for sex to have an emotional connection, and for one's desire to be low is interchangeable between both genders," she said.
Robb says that the problem with media's interest in surveys that conclude that women don't really like sex, is two-fold.
For one, there is the problematic word characterless - a word that has been both the insult of choice by misogynistic shock jocks and reclaimed in characterless walks around the world - but, two, that there is something 'naughty', giggle worthy and shocking about a couple of birds admitting that they like sex.
This attitude is depicted in movies where sex becomes a bargaining chip in a worn-in marriage in Bettina Arndt's 'The Sex Diaries' in which dozens of men said they didn't get enough sex and in jokes among women about not wanting to have sex with their partners.
Sex then becomes either something for the footloose and fancy free or a chore for the partnered up woman.
As silly as these surveys may be, the danger lies in the stereotypes that underpin them. Sex is a normal, fun and an important part of many romantic relationships, and indeed life.
It's not always straightforward though, and intimacy issues that may arise in a partnership go far beyond any 'would you prefer chocolate to sex' survey.
As sex therapist Amanda Robb points out, issues such as you or your partner losing interest in sex requires much "talking it out" to find out the real problems.
"Personally I don't think anyone should have sex when they do not desire it to please another person. I think this idea has the potential to remove sex from being an intimate experience shared between loved ones, to seeming like a 'chore' or 'responsibility' in a marriage or relationship, and sex should never be a 'task' ... The healthiest way to trouble shoot this is by talking it out. Tip: Find out what impacts each other's desire in order to understand why each partner needs to fuel a healthy desire," Robb said.
If you pinpoint the trouble, says Robb, you can start working through to a solution.
"Once you understand the issues that may be affecting the desire to have sex you can support each other to alleviate them. Reclaiming a happy sex life together can be as simple as changing a relationship routine i.e.: switching the time of day you have sex from night to morning, spending more time on initial play, creating a relaxed environment and eliminating daily distractions from the bedroom," Robb said.
"Relationship habits or 'norms' can be the unrecognised barriers impacting your partner's desire. Once they are identified they can be changed to accommodate a more pleasant sex life for the two of you," she added.
There'll be many a slip
Everybody wants their first time to be perfect. Some even envision it to be some kind of fairytale moment. Nothing wrong with that, but one should know that there could be slip-ups, all the same. The man often wishes sex to last longer, but if he reaches climax early (presumably due to a rush of excitement), it is okay! Some may even fail to achieve the tool's readiness and in that moment of disappointment, label themselves as not being 'up to the mark'. If that is what you think, it is a big mistake. You can always end the session with ample initial play. If things don't go as planned in the very first time, there's always a second time. If a man can achieve the tool's readiness during self play, he is normal. So just relax and go with the flow.
Yes, it hurts, but wait
For women, the first time can be a little painful, but hang on. It's not the pain that they must dread. In most cases, the pain is almost like that of finger prick. However, it's the fear of pain that makes things worse. The hype surrounding the pain often induces fear in women, resulting in spasms at the slightest touch. This is where it is important for the partner to step in. Firstly, ensure she feels comfortable with you. Ample initial play is a must to get the female lubricated. The key is to take it slow.
Bleeding? Maybe. maybe not
That a woman must bleed during her first sex is undoubtedly the most misguided notion people harbour. The bleeding occurs when the hymen splits. However, why is it so difficult to understand that the same hymen which is considered a mark of virginity by many men can also split due to other reasons? Rigorous exercises such as cycling can split the hymen. In some cases, it may even be congenitally absent. The hymen can also rupture, when women self play. Bleeding, or no bleeding, the fact that you are close enough to your partner to get sexually intimate demands you also put a certain level of trust in her. Doubts, if any, should be cleared right in the beginning, and not in the bed.
Contraception can fail
One wrong move is enough to invite unwanted pregnancy. Don't rely on withdrawal method or the safe days of the woman's menstrual cycle. Unmarried couples must use condoms. If marriage is around the corner, the woman can visit her gynaecologist a month before the wedding. The doctor will put her on oral contraceptives, safe enough to see the couple through the honeymoon phase. Later, the couple can consult the gynaecologist and select the contraceptive method that suits them the best.
It will get messy
When body fluids are exchanged, it can get quite messy. But there are no two ways about it. Either you do it, or you don't. So don't fret too much about unwanted stains and keep an extra sheet handy.
Figuring out whether a woman is on the pill or not may help guys avoid unwanted pregnancy.
According to Men's Health, women on birth control blink 32 per cent more than those who aren't, Jezebel reported.
During this time men are advised to put on their toughest, most confident mug as they look at women. Because of the shift in hormone levels, research says, women on the Pill are more attracted to men with rugged features, such as strong, wide jaws."
"Stroke her forearm first. This area of the arm is packed with pleasure nerves that respond best to a touch travelling 1 to 10 centimetres per second... [to trigger] an area of the brain associated with trust and affection," the mag suggests.
Men who sweat can make use of this opportunity to turn a woman on, as your post-run sweat has androstadienone, which spikes her interest when she smells it.
If you want to know whether she is ready for sex or not, slowly and firmly flick your tongue against the palm of her hand. If she wipes it off down her clothes, your chance is gone.
You can also guess from the position of her feet. If she moves her feet away from her body, adopting a more open stance, you're golden. But if she crosses her legs or tucks them under her body, then you better clear up your intention.
As in case of foods, "According to new research, the smell of toast is a serious mood booster."
Eat some chocolate - it's caffeinated and so "can jolt the sex level." It's packed with phenylethylamine, which can "activate the brain's pleasure centers."
Another interesting and easiest tip is texting. "Girls like bold texts, too. So next time you're bored waiting in a queue for lunch, text her the rudest, naughtiest thing you can possibly think of and inform her of when exactly you plan to do it."
Last but not the least: girls are as interested in your pictures as you guys are from receiving them.Image Source: Thinkstock Photos/Getty Images
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been trying to patch up after Kristen was photographed getting cozy with director Rupert Sanders in July. The couple has sought the help of a counsellor, who advised them to sign a no-sex pact. This means that even though the two share the same living space, they will sleep in separate rooms for a month while they 'work on communicating, healing wounds and trust exercises'. We explore whether this is a practical solution for couples.
It's advisable
City-based counsellor Ian Faria says this kind of advice is given to couples in troubled relationships. He says, "Both partners might have different sex desires — husbands might have a bigger one, while the wife, not so much. Taking a month-long sabbatical helps, because it frees the wife of sexual obligations and will help her gather her thoughts. Earlier, wives would take breaks every year and visit their parents' home with the children, which doesn't happen now. This lack of space can make it suffocating to be in a relationship."
Abstinence is good
Model Faith Panday thinks abstinence is a good thing and says, "Abstinence is probably the best decision to make while in a relationship. These days, love is replaced by sex, which, in turn, begets a string of negatives that our generation is getting used to, especially with what they see around them and on the big screen. But facades can change and mistakes can be reversed. If Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart stay abstinent, good for them!"
It's all a gimmick
Fashion guru Prasad Bidapa thinks Robert and Kristen's no-sex pact might be a publicity stunt. "The timing seems suspect as their film is due for release soon. Nowadays, romance seems to be the most disposable thing. The personal lives of celebrities is always under scrutiny and they live under a lot of pressure, but when they don't get enough attention, they feel lost."
By Taniya Talukdar, TNN
And of the 4,000 people who participated in the Love Bites: Dating and Dining survey, some were happy to sacrifice action between the sheets for salad.
32 per cent of those people were women compared to 16 per cent who were men.
But it is not just singles, in potentially unsatisfactory sexual relationships, who were willing to relinquish a year of loving.
The study interviewed extra 3,500 married individuals and despite being in a committed long-term relationship, 28 per cent chose their perfect meal over fun in the bedroom.
While a majority of respondents willing to sacrifice sex did so for steak and chocolate, some were comfortable with depriving themselves for the sake of a caprese salad, sushi and fresh fruit.
The puzzling results raise in turn, questions about the quality of the sex that those who answered in favour of food, are having.
"People often say things like they'd pick money or sleep or food over sex. If you find yourself picking food over sex, you need to approach sex a bit more like food and vary your diet," the Daily Mail quoted sex therapist and author Ian Kerner as telling MSNBC.
"I think this shows that people take sex for granted, or that they're not enjoying sex enough to really value it appropriately," he said.
He also pointed out that food might just be the reason that such people were not getting the most out of their sexual experience.
While chocolate and steak both have ingredients known to lift spirits, some food groups make us full and lethargic so what starts as a romantic candle-lit meal, ends in a night in front of the television.
In fact, a sense of adventure around food proved to be an important factor in attracting a mate as 66 per cent of singles said that they were put off by fussy eaters and 35 per cent admitted to being unimpressed by those who lacked food knowledge.
And 93 per cent of the respondents were adamant that they would prefer someone bad in the kitchen to a partner with no skills in the bedroom.
No one's getting hurt, so what's the problem? Well, there wasn't one until a couple of weeks ago. My friend was at the pub, had the prerequisite tequila and chips breath and was about to call her buddy when an acquaintance stopped her. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" the concerned sex-stopper asked. "Okay with what?" my friend wanted to know, scrolling through her phone contacts list to find 'Sexy Henry'. "You know, sex with someone who doesn't care." Wow. It was like she'd found a giant pin and popped my friend's fun balloon. Suddenly there were lots of strings attached. Her belief that the sex she'd been having with her friend was completely harmless was suddenly unravelling like a bargain bin negligee. "Aren't you scared of getting hurt?" the acquaintance pushed. "You know, when he meets someone else? A real girlfriend?" Nope. My friend hadn't been. She didn't want to be Sexy Henry's girlfriend. While they were very compatible sexually neither of them had any interest in actually dating. Was this in some way morally wrong? Should she want to be more than just his sex buddy? Was being someone's sex buddy in some way anti-feminist? The insinuation was that as a woman, my friend should want to be more than just this guy's occasional hook-up. That not wanting to be his girlfriend was in some way unfeminine. That she was lowering herself by being his sex plaything. That she was behaving in a masculine manner by not demanding a more regular relationship – even though she didn't want one.
It's amazing that these kind of moral conundrums still exist for women regarding sex and sexual behaviour. Two consenting adults can't decide to have uncomplicated sex without there being an underlying neediness on the side of the woman. Because women can't have uncomplicated sex, right? Sex is so tied up with hand-wringing emotional torment that if we don't actually want something more from someone we're sleeping with we're emotional cretins.
Another friend of mine is embroiled in a similar sexual minefield. She snogged a guy she fancies before finding out he has a girlfriend. Yes, he's a bad man. She and a group of friends then went out again and…they snogged. Again. Yes, bad friend. But really? She doesn't know his girlfriend, surely this is his problem not hers? Yet because this has happened twice or even three times now she feels a moral responsibility to confront it. Even though as far as she's concerned he's a nice chap, but a snog's a snog. He has a girlfriend. That's the end of it. But it's almost as if because she's a woman she has a responsibility to his girlfriend, when he hasn't addressed the matter at all. It's a kind of 1950's "Oh, he's a cad, isn't he?" indulgence towards men and sex. My friend doesn't want to hurt this guy's girlfriend, but then she's not, is she? He is. Why should she feel more responsibility as the woman? If the situations were reversed and it was a male friend of mine who was snogging a woman with a boyfriend would anyone feel as if he should be chastising himself for hurting the guy? It's almost as though because she doesn't actually want anything else from this guy she's in some way un-womanly, whereas he escapes all judgement. Which, in my humble opinion, is useless.
A third of single girls use their male friends for sex, a new poll has revealed. The survey, conducted by the UK based website MyCelebrityFashion, found that half of these women call on ‘friends with benefits’ because they do not want a serious relationship.
The data showed that 19 per cent hopped into the sack ‘to have fun’, while 22 per cent said that the romps were ‘not planned’, and eight per cent hoped the fling might develop into something more.
“The idea of ‘friends with benefits’ is growing in popularity,” the Sun quoted Andy Barr of MyCelebrityFashion as saying.
“Perhaps people shouldn’t automatically think all women want to settle down right away and have a serious relationship,” Barr added.
The poll found only 29 per cent of the girls stayed friends with ex partners, as one in five said their best pal was a man.
'via Blog this'
Men hit more on women who are dressed down, claims a recent report. But for men in the city, attitude is the deciding factor.
If a recent news report is to be believed, men tend to find women in casual or run-down clothes more approachable than the glam divas. But in Mumbai, it's a different story. While men in the city appreciate girls who are well-dressed, they say approachability depends more on a girl's attitude than her clothes. Here are some of the major factors that make girls approachable or otherwise for men.
Look me in the eye
Guys say a girl who isn't willing to make eye contact won't get much attention. Rahul Shah, a banker, explains, "Whether it's a mall or a party, if a girl isn't willing to look you in the eye, it means she isn't interested. And no matter where you approach such a girl, she's most likely to snub you. I would think twice about approaching a girl who has been frowning for a long time or seems lost in her thoughts."
Body talk
Body language also tells a man whether a girl is approachable or not. "If a girl is standing with her hands folded, her face turned away from the crowd, I would think twice about going to her. I'd rather choose a girl who's laughing out loud with her buddies. On a subconscious level, body language does convey a message and we take it into account while talking to a girl."
Looks do matter
Glam divas may be high maintenance, but men are most likely to be attracted to them. Paresh Nair, a management student, says, "No one goes to a party looking for a girl wearing sports shoes. Clothes do matter, but they aren't the sole deciding factor. Most guys won't hit on a girl who comes to a party in her pyjamas. At the same time, it doesn't help if a girl is overdressed at a bowling alley. I am sure women feel the same way about men, too."
Casual, not shabby
Most men say girls who dress shabbily don't impress them. "There's a very thin line between being casual and shabby. The out-of-the-bed look is different from actually just waking up and getting out of your house. It's good to be around a girl who doesn't stare into the mirror all the time, but every guy wants a girl who takes care of her appearance and is presentable," says fashion design student Jai Aggarwal.
By Harshada Rege, TNN
Feminine charm is a measurable phenomenon, scientists have established, with women who employ it enjoying the most success in negotiations.
Results from the first academic study of the technique shows that it can increase success rates in negotiations with both men and women by as much as a third.
Effective feminine charm combines flirtation with friendliness and women who get it right can get around 20 percent off the price of a car, according to the study.
But getting the right balance between flirting and being friendly is vital, because women who are too straightforwardly friendly lose out, according to Laura Kray who led the study.
Researchers from the University of California, Berkeley, and the London School of Economics, carried out four separate experiments to investigate female charm, the newspaper added.
They say that, while there is a commonly held assumption that feminine charm boosts a woman's effectiveness in negotiations, it has not until now been investigated by researchers.
1. She's Playful
Women who take themselves too seriously are seriously not sexy. There's something about a woman who is comfortable enough to be playful, flirty, and not worry that she is risking her reputation. Please don't confuse playful with silly. Silly women who are clowning for attention are vexing. In fact, one man suggested that playfulness is a great sign of maturity—a woman who loves life and isn't ashamed to show it.
2. She's Beautiful
We had a solid discussion about what this means, and the standards were all over the map. Most every man agreed that a beautiful woman a) dresses in a way that flatters her figure, b) puts effort into grooming, and c) cares how men perceive her, even if the end result is very laid-back and simple. There were few absolutes, except to say that a woman who thinks that going through the effort to look nice is somehow beneath her probably won't be sexy to our test group.
3.She's a Grown-Up About Things Related to Sex
Some men were comfortable with sex only after marriage. Some men were comfortable with it much earlier in the relationship. But all of the men wanted a woman who is comfortable talking maturely about sex when the time is right.
4. She Likes and Understands Men
You might say, "Don't all women who are dating like men?" Not according to this group. Women who know how men function and love them for it are very sexy. There's something about giving a man the rope he needs to pursue his passions that makes a woman irresistible.
5. She's Affectionate
It is hard to overestimate the impact of a physical connection to most men. A woman who understands this and gives affection freely is very sexy.
6. She Knows How to Say "Thank You"
Whatever your personal policies, early dating for most men is a time when they are spending money and making plans to arrange a nice evening. Our men greatly valued a woman who was able to say, "That dinner was fantastic," and appreciated the work that went into planning the evening. A woman who has a spirit of gratitude signals to a man, "You can make me happy," which is a primal component to attraction.
