Men talk and think a lot about sex while women desire it more often. We explore the reasons...'Men think, while women desire.' Gone are the days when 'demanding sex' was considered exclusively a man's forte. Today women demand sex greater than men. And they have no qualms about getting vocal about it. "I read these funny E-mail forwards that stress on men begging for sex and women denying it. It sounds so funny to me. It's totally the opposite in my case. While men can have a good laugh over it believing that this notion exists, I literally have to seduce my husband to get him hooked on to the act," quips production assistant Megha Mehra. And she is not alone. Many girls/women had a similar story.We spoke to women from different backgrounds to figure out what is making them addicted to sex.It's physically pleasurableAmongst all the other reasons to remain glued to sex, this is the most prominent one. Good sex satisfies your physical urge, which is very normal for anyone to experience. Psychologist Seema Naina opines, "Sex is the most basic need of any person. And I am increasingly getting cases where women are complaining that men are unable to satisfy their physical needs."Creates positive feelings about oneselfIdeally, great sex means you are enjoying the sexual act and participating equally. It makes you feel good about yourself, thus adding to your self esteem. Shares housewife Neelam Nehra, "When my husband comes back from a whole day at work and we have our sack session, it increases my self esteem. The very feeling that I am able to satisfy him is a great pleasure. And since I never want to go out of shape to look unappealing to my husband (and other men), it even acts as a motivation to work out and feel desirable." Wondering why?"Sex has healing powers. It generates positive emotions and makes one feel more confident. When a woman sees her man passionate in the act, admiring her body and moves, it infuses a lot of good feelings within her," opines psychologist Sunaina Bajaj.Brings them closer to their manPhysical intimacy releases hormone Oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. Agrees relationship expert Vandana Mitra, "I have always maintained that couples should never take sex casually. It's a very important ingredient for any relationship to sustain. It helps couples to nurture the relationship and strengthen the bond." So whoever said having more sex with your partner means lesser cases of infidelity, made sense.Content developer Prachi Sinha states, "I feel a major connect with my boyfriend after we make love. I just feel like being close to him. My faith in him and our relationship grows stronger." Prachi's boyfriend agrees, "When she told me about the 7 days a week sex, I initially could not stop laughing. I mean, this is not the only thing we have to do. But honestly it has got us closer. I just can't take my eyes off her even when we are moving in a crowd."Negates unwanted emotions/ Stress-relieverSex is not just a physical sensation but it's comforting and relaxing. Call centre executive Neetu Sharma shares her experience, "Whenever I have a bad day at work, sex really helps me unwind. It totally takes the stress out of my mind and makes me feel relaxed and rejuvenated." Psychologist Reena Kapur explains why. "Sex involves a lot of deep breathing and touching and the hormones that are released during the act calm you down."Great form of exerciseThirty minutes of sex burns more than 85 calories. We have read it almost everywhere that sex helps in burning calories. Confirms fitness consultant Stuti Batra, "While I do not suggest giving up work outs, doubling up the session makes you drop more weight." While this is the most deadly mix, many girls are seriously taking to it. "It may sound a little funny, but while making love I prefer to play the dominant role. It helps me burn greater calories, leaving my guy in ecstasy," says Payal Verma.Invokes passion"Sometimes I feel like a pervert, because I find myself always thinking about my boyfriend, and what we did the night before. It gives me a kick and makes me crave for our next sack session. He thinks I am crazy, but it really happens to me," shares call centre executive Richa Sharma."It is completely normal to imagine about sex. But I have heard it can freak a guy out- we men are still adapting to the concept of women demanding sex more than us. But we love that passion," admits psychologist Prateek.Image: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
Between busy work schedules, chores, family responsibilities and an endless to-do list, finding time for sex can be difficult. But sex is one thing that helps maintain a close level of intimacy with your partner and ensures that the relationship stays strong.Here are some ways you and your spouse can make time for love:Be romanticBring back that loving feeling by focusing on romance. Go out to a new restaurant, do something nice for each other and make sure your time together is just about the two of you. Devote one night to your spouse and the next to the other. Talk during the day about your plans for that evening, have a conversation about what you would like from your lover, add a romantic meal, start early in the night before you are tired and disallow TV or computer in the bedroom.Schedule itOne of the best ways to ensure you make time for sex is to schedule it. Set specific time aside for intimacy and let nothing remove it from the schedule. It might not seem that interesting and romantic, but it works. Unfortunately there are times when you can't be spontaneous so you have to put important things like this on a schedule.Communicate your likes and dislikesLike creating anticipation, talking about sex can also boost interest in spending more time in the bedroom. "Have a talk with your partner about what you would like in the bedroom. Sure it can be awkward, but sometimes you have to get over these hurdles to get things on track. Take turns discussing what you would like to see happen and what you want to try. The more honest you are, the easier it will be to start putting your sex life first.Create anticipationThere's no better way to get sex back onto your radar than to create some excitement around it. Devote separate nights to focusing on a different partner's needs and then talk to each other during the day about your plans for the other. But be careful. The rule is - it should be romantic. The more you look forward to sex, the more likely you are to want to make intimacy a priority.Just do it!It might sound bold, but why not initiate things yourself to get the ball rolling? Do not wait for your partner to start things. It can lead to night after night of nothing. If your partner rejects your advances, discuss it with your partner. Also, if there is a lack of desire in either of you, visit a relationship expert for counselling. Images: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
Here’s the truth: Your unit isn’t attractive. At all. Nor does it draw us to you in any way. If it did, you could just toss on the table during appetizers on the first date, and we’d go home with you.**
So what are some of those other qualities that turn a woman on? I can’t speak for all women, but here are five that do it for me—and, according to my friends, for them too.
Your Handwriting
Handwritten notes are so rare these days, which only makes them more of a turn on. Doesn’t matter if you’re using a pen, pencil, or crayon—we love it! Not only is it awesome to see effort beyond the four-word text, but a handwritten note is literally something we’ll treasure. Also, I think it is very sexy to see words such as beautiful in your chicken scratch. Something about sensitive words in rough manly handwriting makes me swoon.
Your Clean Smell
Emphasis on clean. I’m not into the sweaty man scent, but I’m all about the right-out-of-the-shower smell. Yum. A little Irish Spring and I’m yours. Just don’t go overboard. With most soaps and body washes—from Axe to Gillette—a little goes a long way. Don’t show up at my door smelling like you have pine cone hanging around your neck.
You Saying My Name
Get your mind out of gutter! I mean when you say my name out of the blue***. When you’re with someone all the time, you rarely call them by name—or you use a nickname. There’s something very sexy about hearing you say my name. Just throw it in there once in awhile to show you still remember it—and still respect me as an individual.
You Focusing on a Project
I love to see a guy working on a project—from building the fence in my backyard to cleaning the oven or planning a trip. Whatever it is, seeing raw dedication, focus, and ownership never gets old.
Your Blushing
So okay, I am way funnier than most of you, I realize that****. I love when I can zing ya with a great comeback and you know it was hilarious. But you don’t want to back down, so you blush with a tad bit of embarrassment. Or if I say something totally unexpected, and it makes you happy, you have a certain smirk. It is fantastic to see that vulnerability every once in awhile.
1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.
2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!
3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.
4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.
5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.
6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.
7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running.
8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.
9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.
10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film,You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate!
Here are ways to enhance your sex lifeThe art of conversationWhen was the last time you had a real conversation with your partner, where the two of you made requests and even promises? When was the last time you asked her intimate questions?Often, in a long-term relationship, we take things for granted and fall into a routine. Find out what her fantasies are without judging her or laughing. You will be surprised to learn that her fantasies are very different from yours. Bring a few role-playing games into the bedroom to shed your inhibitions. This opens up more room for conversation and this will bring you closer together.Men generally have very visual and carnal fantasies, but with women they are always about how the thoughts make them feel. Ask her to be honest and not worry about offending you or hurting your feelings. Ask her to show you what she likes and what she really dislikes.It is incredibly sad that because of lack of communication couples have to endure stuff that completely annoys or repels them. That too with the one person who is supposed to be a source of pleasure!Call her or send her a message during the day to ask her how she's doing. Let her know you are thinking of her and maybe thinking of the smell of her hair or the feel of her waist. Be sensual in your communication and not just not sexual. However, if she encourages you in her responses then go ahead, indulge is some 'sexting'--or sexual texting!Hit her spotNow for the part you have been dreading, and I am sure you will be shaking your head saying that this is my personal conspiracy favoring womankind. I promise you it is not what you're thinking!If you want more action in the bedroom, pick up some of the slack in the other rooms as well. If you are married with kids, be a good father, spend time with the kids. If you live together, help out around the house.Acknowledge that she needs rest just as much as you do. Guys often like to believe that when you come home from work, the TV should be yours and that you should not be disturbed while you unwind and that all your other needs should be fulfilled. But what about her needs?Try it out for a week and I am sure you will be much happier. A little bit of kindness and housework never killed any one! And if you even have the audacity to shout at her or snap at her or even worse, if you are rude to her and put her down, you can kiss good sex goodbye!You cannot expect your partner to do all the housework, look after the kids, be told off by you and then come to bed all turned on. She will come to bed alright, but she'll be exhausted and resentful. And those aren't ingredients for better sex!(The author is a certified life coach who offers her services at Multi Coaching International. When she's not teaching people how to have better sex, she's helping scores of corporates, educational institutes, and individuals better themselves using her unique coaching techniques.)Image: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been trying to patch up after Kristen was photographed getting cozy with director Rupert Sanders in July. The couple has sought the help of a counsellor, who advised them to sign a no-sex pact. This means that even though the two share the same living space, they will sleep in separate rooms for a month while they 'work on communicating, healing wounds and trust exercises'. We explore whether this is a practical solution for couples.
It's advisable
City-based counsellor Ian Faria says this kind of advice is given to couples in troubled relationships. He says, "Both partners might have different sex desires — husbands might have a bigger one, while the wife, not so much. Taking a month-long sabbatical helps, because it frees the wife of sexual obligations and will help her gather her thoughts. Earlier, wives would take breaks every year and visit their parents' home with the children, which doesn't happen now. This lack of space can make it suffocating to be in a relationship."
Abstinence is good
Model Faith Panday thinks abstinence is a good thing and says, "Abstinence is probably the best decision to make while in a relationship. These days, love is replaced by sex, which, in turn, begets a string of negatives that our generation is getting used to, especially with what they see around them and on the big screen. But facades can change and mistakes can be reversed. If Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart stay abstinent, good for them!"
It's all a gimmick
Fashion guru Prasad Bidapa thinks Robert and Kristen's no-sex pact might be a publicity stunt. "The timing seems suspect as their film is due for release soon. Nowadays, romance seems to be the most disposable thing. The personal lives of celebrities is always under scrutiny and they live under a lot of pressure, but when they don't get enough attention, they feel lost."
By Taniya Talukdar, TNN
