LIP SERVICE
A young woman, extraordinarily attractive in personality, character, and presentation, was suffering from an illness that made her lips cracked and sore. The slightest movement of her mouth caused pain and embarrassment. Her condition, though not cured, was somewhat relieved by the application of a medication prescribed by her physician.
The instructions on the prescription were to apply the medication once a day, but the young woman found that more frequent applications were palatable and effective.
After exhausting her supply, she returned to the doctor's office for another one. The receptionist announced the arrival of the returning patient to the doctor: "It's the super gal with fragile lips expecting extra doses."
"Lip Service" from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard Lederer & Stan Kegel (©2007) "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman from "Mary Poppins" by Walt Disney Studios. (©1964)
A DIME A DOZEN
A young anthropologist came upon a tribe of Aborigines tossing spears into the air at small objects. As he drew closer, he recognized the objects as silver dollars and noticed that the Aborigines aim was exceedingly accurate. He soon discovered that this game would go on for days before anyone missed. So, as he watched the contest, he wondered if those who threw the spears could be as accurate with something as small as a dime.
"Can you do as well with a dime?" he asked the Chief.
"I'm afraid that accomplishment is out of my reach," said the Chief. And he noticed the anthropologist's enthusiasm wane. "But perhaps my brother, who is also a skilled spearman, can do it for you."
"Oh, please ask him for me," the anthropologist insisted.
Whereupon the chief turned and called to a man on the other side of the clearing: "Hey brother. Can you spear a dime?"
"A Dime A Dozen" from "Groan And Bear It" by Gary Youngblood (©2010)
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