The Facts of Life
~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are perfect!?
~Going out is good..? Coming home is better!
~When people say you look "Great"...?they add "for your age!"?
~When you needed the discount, you paid full price.? Now you get discounts on everything...? movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.?
~You forget names .... but it's OK? because other people forgot? they even knew you!!!?
~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose? is now 15 and you have a better chance? of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.?
~You realize you're never going? to be really good at anything .... especially golf.?
~Your spouse is counting on you? to remember things you don't remember.?
~The things you used to care to do,? you no longer care to do,? but you really do care that you? don't care to do them anymore.?
~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair? with the TV blaring than he does in bed.?? It's called his "pre-sleep".?
~Remember when your mother said,? "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!?
~You used to say,? "I hope my kids GET married...? Now, "I hope they STAY married!"?
~You miss the days when everything worked? with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..?
~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ....? were unheard of, and a mouse was something? that made you climb on a table.?
~You tend to use more 4 letter words ...? "what?"..."when?"... ????
~Now that you can afford? expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.?
~Your husband has a night out with the guys,? but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P..M.?
~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.?
~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!?
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.?
~Everybody whispers.
