Understanding Engineers - One
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>
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> Two engineering students were walking across a university
> campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>
> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
> yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman
> rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her
> clothes and said,
>
> "Take what you want."
>
> The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice;
> the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Two
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>
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
> glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as
> big as it needs to be.
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Three
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>
>
> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning
> for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed,
> "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen
> minutes!"
>
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
> inept golf!"
>
> The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a
> word with him."
>
> He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of
> us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
>
> The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
> firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a
> fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
>
> The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's
> so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
>
> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
> ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can
> do for them."
>
> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Four
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>
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> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
> engineers?
>
> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build
> targets.
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>
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> Understanding Engineers - Five
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>
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> The graduate with a science degree asks," Why does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it
> cost?"
>
> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
> that?"
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Six
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>
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> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
> who must have designed the human body.
>
> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
> joints."
>
> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
> system has many thousands of electrical connections."
>
> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil
> engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
> recreational area?"
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Seven
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>
>
> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
> enough features yet.
>
>
>
> Understanding Engineers - Eight
>
>
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called
> out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
> beautiful princess."
>
> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>
> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn
> back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
>
> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
> returned it to the pocket.
>
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
> a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING
> you want."
>
> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
> back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
> matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll
> stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't
> you kiss me?"
>
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time
> for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
