Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So, when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?"
"I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home, I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package, but no one was home. I'll have you know, my husband
was in all morning! He never heard a thing!"
After apologizing, I got her parcel.
"Oh good!" she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages!"
"What is it?" I asked.
"My husband's new hearing aid."
-------------------------------------------------------
The local game warden had arrested a man for killing and eating an enangered Egret. The man pleaded his case before a judge. "I was just trying to feed my hungry family. I've never done anything like that before."
"I understand. I'm a family man myself. And since you were only trying to feed your family and it was your first and only offense, I'm going to let you go."
"Thank you, Your Honor."
"But before you go, I want to ask you a question. What does Egret meat taste like?"
"Well your Honor, it's not as tender as Spotted Owl, but it's much better than Bald Eagle."
