1) BEING PASSIVE: Don't let him undress you and himself. Just help him a lil
bit: like making the first step. It won't hurt. One more thing, just cause
we are men it doesn't mean that we must do all the job.
2) WEARING JEANS OR TIGHT PANTS: It takes time to take off these kinda
clothes. Every second counts. Remember one thing: the more time you got,
the more rounds you got. And the more rounds you got, the more you are
satisfied. Be smart.
3) GOING DOWN HALFWAY: Once you start going down, don't stop at the belly
button or around it. Keep going or just don't go below the neck at all.
4) CHOCKING HIS CHICKEN TOO HARD: Men feel pain, we are not as tough as you
think. No man has a leather Dick. You got to be smooth with the Dick.
Pulling it too hard doesn't make us feel horny, it hurts us even though we
don't tell you.
5) LICKING HIS EAR TOO MUCH: It's just the same as a dog licking a bitch's ass.
6) MOANING LIKE A RUNNER WHO NEEDS AIR: Better moan with style girl cause men
love to make fun of girls who can't moan like movies stars (Halle Berry,
Whitney Houston). Try not to make to much noise when you exhale.
7) SCRATCHING HIS BACK: We don't need no autographs, girls. It does not feel
good at all!! Depends on the length of the nails, and how deep you dig the
nail in our backs, they leave permanent marks. So keep your nails in your
pockets, please. If you feel the need to scratch a brother's back, either
grip the hell out of the sheets, or the headboard.
8) LETTING YOUR LONG HAIR FALL ON HIS FACE: Men need air: they breathe. So
please be intelligent a little bit. Don't just think about yourself :-)
9) JUMPING ON HIS HIPS 2 HARD: A man is not a horse so please take it easy
unless you got a big booty that can take care of the landing.
10) SCREAMING TOO LOUD WHEN YOU CUM: What are you, crazy??. Do you want us to
get caught by parents? Or you just love to see us jumping through the window
butt naked.
11) KEEP YOURSELF CLEAN: Everyone know that fish is the smell. But we don't
have to be smelling it when you take your drawls off. Please warn us if you
haven't freshened up. And nobody want to suck on no salty dirty titties.
Ladies, men aren't the only ones who sweat you know. And we sure don't want
you smelling like you work at a fish market either. Make sure your ass is
clean!! No man wants to eat off of a dirty plate.
12) NICE FEET: Make sure your feet are in check Every man has a certain turn
on, everything on a woman must be perfect, that's how we like it and love it.
Do not, I repeat do not!!! get in bed with us with your feet looking like
you've been walking barefoot on toxic waste. You know what I'm talking
about, nail polish coming off halfway, smelly like hell, uneven toenails,
soles are ashy as hell feeling like sandpaper, it's hard to perform good
foreplay when you have hammertime, and worst of all, don't even think about
asking us to suck your toes if they look like they been beaten with a
sledgehammer (ugly). We're not to fond of unpolished toes either. We like
them soft, smooth, pretty, and most of all tasty looking.
13) GIVING HEAD: Some women have a very bad habit of using their teeth. That
is not a banana. It's a hell of a difference between a Dick and a banana.
14) AFTER SEX: BROADCASTING: Don't go bragging to your girlfriends that you so
called got us "whipped" or "sprung". It's not cool at all, especially when
his homies are around.
15) KEEP IT REAL: When you're at the point of a breakup in a relationship,
don't wait until then to tell us we didn't knock it right. You know damn
well we had you climbing walls & walking on air.
