Mar 18, 2011

MATERNITY WARD

Maternity Ward
 
A nurse says to a girl in the maternity ward, "Would you like your
husband to be present at the birth?"
She says, "I'm afraid I don't have a husband, or a boyfriend. I'm
unattached...I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth, the nurse says to the girl, "You have a healthy
bouncing baby, but the baby is black."
The girl says, "I was down on my luck, so I took a job in a porno movie
where the lead man was black."
The nurse says, "The baby also has blonde hair."
The girl says, "There was a Swedish guy in the movie, too."
The nurse says, "The baby also has slanted eyes."
The girl says, "There was a Chinaman in the movie, too."
Then the nurse hands the baby to the girl. The girl spanks it, and it
cries out.
The girl says, "That's a relief. I was afraid the little bastard was
gonna bark."
 
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What do a bungee jumper and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're both in deep shit
 
What's the difference between a prostitute and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock a doodle do" and a prostitute says, "Any cock'll
do."
 
What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
 
What is the difference between a pay check and a penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your pay check!
 
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There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.
The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."
The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."
The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."