Feb 16, 2011
7 Khoon Maaf - Story - Pics
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Akbar's Gold Coins
AKBAR'S GOLD COINS The wisdom of Birbal was unparalleled during the reign of Emperor Akbar. But Akbar's brother in law was extremely jealous of him. He asked the Emperor to dispense with Birbal's services and appoint him in his place. He gave ample assurance that he would prove to be more efficient and capable than Birbal. Before Akbar could take a decision on this matter, this news reached Birbal. Birbal resigned and left. Akbar's brother in law was made the minister in place of Birbal. Akbar decided to test the new minister. He gave three hundred gold coins to him and said, Spend these gold coins such that, I get a hundred gold coins here in this life; a hundred gold coins in the other world and another hundred gold coins neither here nor there. The minister found the entire situation to be a maze of confusion and hopelessness. He spent sleepless nights worrying over how he would get himself out of this mess. Thinking in circles was making him go crazy. Eventually, on the advice of his wife he sought Birbal's help. Birbal said, Just give me the gold coins, I shall handle the rest. Birbal walked the streets of the city holding the bag of gold coins in his hand. He noticed a rich merchant celebrating his son's wedding. Birbal gave a hundred gold coins to him and bowed courteously saying, “Emperor Akbar sends you his good wishes and blessings for the wedding of your son. Please accept the gift he has sent." The merchant felt honoured that the king had sent a special messenger with such a precious gift. He honoured Birbal and gave him a large number of expensive gifts and a bag of gold coins as a return gift for the king. Next, Birbal went to the area of the city where the poor people lived. There he bought food and clothing in exchange for a hundred gold coins and distributed them in the name of the Emperor. When he came back to town he organized a concert of music and dance. He spent a hundred gold coins on it. The next day Birbal entered Akbar's darbar and announced that he had done all that the king had asked his brother-in-law to do. The Emperor wanted to know how he had done it. Birbal repeated the sequence of all the events and then said, The money I gave to the merchant for the wedding of his son – you have got back while on this earth. The money I spent on buying food and clothing for the poor "you will get it in the other world". The money I spent on the musical concert "you will get neither here nor there." This is true even today. The money you spend on friends is returned or reciprocated in some form or the other. Money spent on charity gets converted into blessings from God which becomes your eternal property. Money spent on pleasures is just frittered away! So when you spend money, think a little, if not a lot! |
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Confession
| CONFESSION A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments. He hears a priest come in: "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be". The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side". |
The New Indian Movie On Corruption And Terrorism
| The New Indian Movie On Corruption And Terrorism *Hero:* Maunmohan Singh *Heroine:* Sonia Maino *Introducing:* Rahul Vinci and Spanish Girl friend Veronique *Villain:* A. Raja, Suresh Kalmudi *Story:* Karunanidhi *Dialogue:* Arundhati Roy *Typists:* Barkha Dutt and Vir Sanghvi *Character Actor:* Omar Abdullah *Comedy:* Sharad, SM Krishna and Party Spokespersons *Producers:* Sonia Maino, Ottavio Quatrochi *Dance Masters:* Sheila Dixit & Jayanti Natarajan (inputs from Barkha Dutt) *Action:* Mamata Banerjee *Sound:* Manish Tiwari & AM Singhvi *Camera:* Kapil Sibal *Wardrobe:* Shivraj Patil *Cook: *Pratibha Patil *Fighting Scenes:* CPI (M)/DMK, Muslim League in association with ISI/LET *Stage/Lighting/Statue Making:* Mayawati and BSP *Marketing and Propaganda:* Communist Party of India (Also World Vision) *Public Relations:* Nira Radia *Publicity:* Diggvijay Singh *Media:* Chindu, Toilet News Group *Promoter:* Shahid Usman *Foreign promoter:* David Coleman Headley *TV/Satellite Rights:* Kalaignar TV *Financed By:* People of India *Proceeds go to charitable causes: * 1. John Dayal (AICC), missionaries in their conversion activities 2. Bangladesh illegal immigrants (to buy ration cards, housing and also to procure arms) 3. Special funds to defend Afzal Guru and future terrorists. 4. Chinese Marxist organizations: Asha for Education, AID ________ *Special Thanks to: * *Khan-gress Party Allies: CPI (Chinese Party of India) Muslim league of Kerala PFI, Islamic Caliphate of India, Dravida Munetra Kazhagam (DMK) Bangladeshis in India Party (BIP) India for Jesus organization (IJO) Naxalite party of India (NPI)* |
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Baccha Kala Hoga Ya Gora
Ek Madrassi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Aur Vo Biwi Ko Leke Honeymoon Manane Train Mein Ja Raha Thha.
Train Mein Sath Wali Seat Par Ek Angrej Bhi Betha Thha.
Madrasi Ke Dimag Mein Aya Ki Agar Main Apni Biwi Ka Sex Is Se Karwa Lu To Bachha Gora Paida Hoga
Madrassi Ne Angrej Se Puchha: “Kya Tum Meri Biwi Ke Sath Sex Karoge?”
Angrej Ne Khush Ho Ke Kaha: “Jarur, Kyu Nahi”
Angrej Ne Ek Baar Sex Kar Liya
Par Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Karva Leta Hu,
Angrej Ne Phir Se Uski Biwi Ke Sath Sex Kia,
Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Ho Jaye Toh Pakka Ho Jayga,
Madraasii Ne Angrej Se Kaha: “Ek Baar Aur Kar Lo”
Angrej: “Nahhi, Ab Nai Kar Sakta”
Madrassi: “Kyuu?”
Angrej Muskurate Hue: “Kyunki Mere Pass Sirf 2 Hi Condoms Thhe“
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Before & After "SHAADI"
Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuchh yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi ..
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana
Thoda sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,
Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop Le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
I pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..
******
5 saal baad........
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana,
Table par rakh kar jor se chillana,
Aaj office jao to munna ko
School chodte hue jana...
Suno ek baar phir wohi awaaj aayi,
Kya baat hai abhi tak chhodi nahi charpayee,
Agar munna late ho gaya to dekh Lena,
Munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal Lena..
Na Jane gharwali kaisa roop Le kar aayi thi,
Dil aur dimaag par kaali ghata chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete hain to unhi ka khayal hota hai,
Ab har samay jehan mein ek hi sawal hota hai..
Kya kabhi who din laut ke aayenge,
Hum ek baar phir kunwaare Ho jaayenge.... ...!
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Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuchh yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi ..
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana
Thoda sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,
Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop Le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
I pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..
******
5 saal baad........
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana,
Table par rakh kar jor se chillana,
Aaj office jao to munna ko
School chodte hue jana...
Suno ek baar phir wohi awaaj aayi,
Kya baat hai abhi tak chhodi nahi charpayee,
Agar munna late ho gaya to dekh Lena,
Munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal Lena..
Na Jane gharwali kaisa roop Le kar aayi thi,
Dil aur dimaag par kaali ghata chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete hain to unhi ka khayal hota hai,
Ab har samay jehan mein ek hi sawal hota hai..
Kya kabhi who din laut ke aayenge,
Hum ek baar phir kunwaare Ho jaayenge.... ...!
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80 Saal ka Baba aur 20 Saal ki Biwi
Ek 80 Saal Ka Aadmi Doctor Se Kehta Hai: “Doctor Sahab Meri 20 Saal Ki Patni Pregnent Ho Gayi Hai.”
Toh Doctor Bola Ek Kahani Suno
Ek Shikari Shikar Per Jaane Ki Zaldi Mein Apni Bandook Ki Jagah Chatri Le Gaya.
Jungle Mein Chalte Chalte Uske Samne Ek Sher Aa Jata Hai
Shikari Chatri Ka Handle Kheench Ker Fire Kerta Hai Aur Sher Mer Jata Hai
80 Saal Ka Aadmi Doctor Se Kehata Hai: “Yeh Kaise Ho Sakta Hai Aise Sher Thodi Na Mar Jaate Hain”
Doctor Kehta Hai: “Excatly Ab Samjhe Kuch“
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Things to do in the bathroom stall...
Things to do in the bathroom stall...
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your
neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the
silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
Very Sexy Shayri
intro deti hoon main apna, naam hai radha rani,
jugwalo aao suno, sunati hoon main apni kahani,
army ke ek barde affsar ki hoon main iklauti beti,
fauji ki beti hoon main, duniya se nahin thi darti, pyaar se pali thi main, karti thi main manmani,
chauda saal umeria meri, hui na thi abhi syaani,
bachpan se hoon, nature ki bahut hee passionate,
choti umer se karti thi main har roz masturbate,
jugwalo aao suno, sunati hoon main apni kahani,
army ke ek barde affsar ki hoon main iklauti beti,
fauji ki beti hoon main, duniya se nahin thi darti, pyaar se pali thi main, karti thi main manmani,
chauda saal umeria meri, hui na thi abhi syaani,
bachpan se hoon, nature ki bahut hee passionate,
choti umer se karti thi main har roz masturbate,
papa ek din bole, jaana hai shadi main barreli,
maa ne kaha, hai reh jayegi meri radha akeli,
chod na de koyi isse, yeh hai abhi bholi bhaali,
tera bhaiya karega radha ki choot ki rakhwali,
maa ne kaha, hai reh jayegi meri radha akeli,
chod na de koyi isse, yeh hai abhi bholi bhaali,
tera bhaiya karega radha ki choot ki rakhwali,
mama ne bhanji dekhi, dekhi usski chardi jawani,
ussi samay ussne mujhe chodne ki dil main thaani,
laurda khara hua usska, milegi kori choot suhani,
choot chodunga bhanji ki, karunga apni manmani,
ussi samay ussne mujhe chodne ki dil main thaani,
laurda khara hua usska, milegi kori choot suhani,
choot chodunga bhanji ki, karunga apni manmani,
mama ne ghumaya, movie dikhayee aur khilai bhel,
raat ko nanga kar, meri choot main laurda diya pel,
dard hui, tha pahela meri choot aur ik lund ka mel,
aissa mujhe choda, achha laga mujhe chudai ka khel,
raat ko nanga kar, meri choot main laurda diya pel,
dard hui, tha pahela meri choot aur ik lund ka mel,
aissa mujhe choda, achha laga mujhe chudai ka khel,
gaand mari, choosi meri chuchi, choot ki kari chudai,
maine bhi kasser na chordi, peeyi maine lund ki malai,
mama ko khana kilaya, botel pilaayi aur pilaayi chai,
boli mama jo chaho, ho jaaye, karo meri phuddi enjai,
maine bhi kasser na chordi, peeyi maine lund ki malai,
mama ko khana kilaya, botel pilaayi aur pilaayi chai,
boli mama jo chaho, ho jaaye, karo meri phuddi enjai,
mama aap ho barde susst, kab mujhe phir chodo ge,
aissi choot phir kahan milegi, dhoondte reh jaaoge,
dil bhar kar mujhe chodo aissi choot phir na paaoge,
main kahin phurr ho jauigi tau dekhte hee reh jaoge
aissi choot phir kahan milegi, dhoondte reh jaaoge,
dil bhar kar mujhe chodo aissi choot phir na paaoge,
main kahin phurr ho jauigi tau dekhte hee reh jaoge
subhay ho ya ho shaam, raat ho ya hui ho abhi bhor,
main har samay machaati raheti thi bus yehi ek shor,
mama chodo, baar baar chodo, yeh dil mange more,
chod chod kar thaka mama, bhag gaya hui main bore,
main har samay machaati raheti thi bus yehi ek shor,
mama chodo, baar baar chodo, yeh dil mange more,
chod chod kar thaka mama, bhag gaya hui main bore,
meri choot ab kaun chodega, reh gayi thi main akeli,
kiya karti main, phir se choot main daali apni ungali,
ek din garden main milli mujhe ek lady bahut albeli,
sabz bagh dikhaye mujko, usske saath hee main holi,
kiya karti main, phir se choot main daali apni ungali,
ek din garden main milli mujhe ek lady bahut albeli,
sabz bagh dikhaye mujko, usske saath hee main holi,
ussi raat ko, usske bhaiyon ne phard di meri choli,
raat bhar undono ne, bari bari meri phuddi chodi,
subhai hui dono bole didi yeh nahin hai itni bholi,
radha ki choot ko kissi ne pahele se hee hai kholi,
raat bhar undono ne, bari bari meri phuddi chodi,
subhai hui dono bole didi yeh nahin hai itni bholi,
radha ki choot ko kissi ne pahele se hee hai kholi,
ik din aaya ek mota lala lekar ruppay kayi hazaar,
radha lele, par chodunga tujhe raat bhar kayi baar,
issi tarhe kuch dinauon main, bane kayi mere yaar,
lady ne kar diya tha shuru, meri choot ka vyapaar,
radha lele, par chodunga tujhe raat bhar kayi baar,
issi tarhe kuch dinauon main, bane kayi mere yaar,
lady ne kar diya tha shuru, meri choot ka vyapaar,
kya maloom tha hoga iss nigodri choot ka yeh fate,
ek lund nahin, karenge hazaaron meri bur se mate,
sahebji dekh yeh paisa laya, ab karega meri chudai,
naam tha radha rani, kahete hain ab sab zeenat bai,
ek lund nahin, karenge hazaaron meri bur se mate,
sahebji dekh yeh paisa laya, ab karega meri chudai,
naam tha radha rani, kahete hain ab sab zeenat bai,
NoNVeg Shayri
Yu Hum Ko Satane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Gand Meri Jalane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Gand Meri Jalane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Jo Nahi Tha Ishq To Keh Dia Hota,
Apni Maa Chudane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Apni Maa Chudane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Maloom Tha Agar Ye Khwab Toot Jayega,
Neend Me Aa Kar Chudwane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Neend Me Aa Kar Chudwane Ki Zarurat Kya Thi?
Maan Lu Agar Ye Ek Tarfa Mohabbat Thi,
Maa Ki Lodi Mujhe Dekh K Muskurane Ki Jarurat Kya Thi!!.
Maa Ki Lodi Mujhe Dekh K Muskurane Ki Jarurat Kya Thi!!.
For The Kids...
What did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend?
Hello gore-juice!
What do you get if you cross a river with an inflatable wizard?
To the other side!
What do wizards stop for on the motorway?
Witchhikers!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a wizard?
Tyrannosaurus hex!
Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
To keep their heads warm!
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