Jan 21, 2010
after 50 years
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck.
"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going ?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
Ahhh... To Be A Kid Again
I want to be a kid again.
I want go back to the time when ;
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny- miney- MO."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming ,"do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"
It was unbeleivable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot.
Nobody was prettier then Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double- dog-dare."
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30 minute ads for action figures.
No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
War was a car game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED !!!!!
birthday gift
The wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband:
Knowing her birthday was coming up shortly, she said to her husband...
'Buy me a surprise for my birthday!' she said.
'Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds! And I would prefer a blue one!'
Happy and excited she was counting down the days to her birthday.
And on the day she finally she got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully bought....
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Scroll Down……
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A Weight Machine
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The poor guy is dead today, and his wife's in jail for murder !
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Chak de India!!
There was a good old barber in Hyderabad. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there ......
Scroll down for answer...................
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of the Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut!
The Lagoon ( Cool Story )
May be you have heared about the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef.
On one tour, a traveler asked the guide an interesting question."I noticed that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful," the traveler observed. "Why is this?"
The guide gave an interesting answer:"The coral around the lagoon side is in still water with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, and storms -- surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life.As it is challenged and tested, it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces."
Then he added this telling note: "That's the way it is with every living organism."
That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive! Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness . So, you have problems? No problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow again!".
Remember, A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner- English Proverb.
Guess the Nationality.
Guess the Nationality:
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Give up?
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POLISH!!!!
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Don't believe me?
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Okay, take a look...
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WE ALL SMILE IN THE SAME LANGUAGE
And what were YOU thinking????
Punjabi Girl
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.
The first man had married a woman from New Delhi , and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning.
He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.
The second man had married a woman from Bombay .
He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.
On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Punjabi girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
The first man had married a woman from New Delhi , and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning.
He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.
The second man had married a woman from Bombay .
He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.
On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Punjabi girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
See The Guts
On a ship, the Generals of three nations were traveling with their soldiers.
They started an argument on whose soldier had more guts.
The American General called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship.
The soldier did as he was commanded. The American General boasted of by saying, “See the guts!“
Now the German General called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship.
The soldier did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German General said, “See the guts!“
Now the Indian General called out for his most Courageous man And asked him to take five similar rounds.
The soldier promptly replied, “Tere baap ka naukar hoon kya? ” (Am I your Father’s servant?)
The general proudly said, “See the guts!”
They started an argument on whose soldier had more guts.
The American General called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship.
The soldier did as he was commanded. The American General boasted of by saying, “See the guts!“
Now the German General called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship.
The soldier did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German General said, “See the guts!“
Now the Indian General called out for his most Courageous man And asked him to take five similar rounds.
The soldier promptly replied, “Tere baap ka naukar hoon kya? ” (Am I your Father’s servant?)
The general proudly said, “See the guts!”
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