GreenGod's Blog: 04/29/11

Apr 29, 2011

Leave letters and Applications

People actually write such applications!!!

This is an actual collection of leave letters and applications written by people.

An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, Please grant me half day casual leave"

A candidate's application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.

Another leave letter written to Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.

A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. IÂ
request you to leave me today"

A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day".

A covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

Letter writing:
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

Getting Real

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

'Doctor, I have a serious pr...oblem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!

'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.'

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.

He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb.

The crime is the same!

If you agree, please SHARE. Together we can help save precious lives!

"Love says I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person. Abortion says I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself..."

Jesus sacrificed Himself for the good of sinners! That's perfect love!

The only person available to protect you 24 hours a day is you.

Defend the second amendment

VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED

Mental Aptitude Test - Pretty Amazing

Mental Aptitude Test - Pretty Amazing

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fool cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I betcha you cannot resist passing it on!

Love Quotes

Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all.

The important thing was to love rather than to be loved.

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.'

Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I do not want to make reasons for you to stay, only reasons for you to return.
What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd walk through a garden forever.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
Loving you is like breathing, how can I stop.
To be in Love is the best way to see the life at it's best!
Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. I would rather be blind than not to see you. I would rather not hear anything than not to hear you, I would rather lose my voice if I didnt tell this to you, that I would rather lose my heart than not love you.
I love you and it doesnt matter if you love me back because i rather live for the chance than die from the truth. Living without you takes a lot of getting used to; you're a hard habit to break.
If I'm out of time and I could pick one day, one moment and keep it new, of all of the days I have lived I would pick the day I met you.

Funny SMS

January to December
Sunday to Saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed.......
U....
R....
Always....
A HEADACHE to me !!!!

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
The world seems to be fading away,
Come along with me
I'll take u an eye specialist !!

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why are you made to sit on the horse ?
You are given your last chance to run away.

Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
Fool............

I wrote ur name on the sands.............
It got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
It got blown away,
So I wrote ur name in my heart.............

I got a HEART ATTACK

LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... Continues with smoke.....and ends in
Ashes...
But don't worry - we are chain smokers

Ur smile can be compared to a flower
Ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
Ur innocence to a child
But in stupidity
U have no comparison
U r the best

True love is like a pillow
U can hug when u r in trouble
U can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
So when u need true love
Spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

Dear Friend,

When I ask u flower,
U give me bouquet
When I ask u a stone
U give me a statue
When I ask u a feather
U give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!

When I call u;
1 ring means I'm thinking of u;
2 ring means I like u;
3 means I miss u;
4 means .........pick d phone idiot

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !

The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
It functions 24hrs 365 days.....
It functions right from the time u r Born.... Until you fall in love

SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min.. A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student : sir, I am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....

Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age Hitler had commited suicide

3 .Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4 .A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could
see was sea, sea, sea.

5 .Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6 .If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch
which watch?

7 .I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought
I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the
thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

8 .Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a
fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a
fellow means?"

9 .Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and
called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside
and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr
Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside
and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside
coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside
went outside to the riverside.

10 . SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT
SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11 .The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his
inside outside his inside inn.

12 .If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors
the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring
doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors
doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the
doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does
the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's
way"

13 .We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be
fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or
whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the
weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot.
Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It
is whether we like it or not.

14 .Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do"
Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew
through a flaw in the flue

16 .If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be
twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

17 .Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw
sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had
Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would
not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it
was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's
seesaw

Doctors Meet

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.” The others agreed.

Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?”

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”

The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”

The third followed with, “I’m involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me.”

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep a secret…”

Jokes @ Work

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

If you can stay calm, while all around you are in chaos ...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

We waste time, so you don't have to.

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

Succeed in spite of management.

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

Money Is Yours But Resources Belong To The Society

MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY

Germany is a highly industrialised country. It produces top brands like Benz, BMW, Siemens etc. The nuclear reactor pump is made in a small town in this country.

In such a country, many will think its people lead a luxurious life. At least that was my impression before my study trip.

When I arrived at Hamburg , my colleagues who work in Hamburg arranged a welcome party for me in a restaurant. As we walked into the restaurant, we noticed that a lot of tables were empty. There was a table where a young couple was having their meal. There were only two dishes and two cans of beer on the table. I wondered if such simple meal could be romantic, and whether the girl will leave this stingy guy.

There were a few old ladies on another table. When a dish is served, the waiter would distribute the food for them, and they would finish every bit of the food on their plates.

We did not pay much attention to them, as we were looking forward to the dishes we ordered. As we were hungry, our local colleague ordered more food for us.

As the restaurant was quiet, the food came quite fast. Since there were other activities arranged for us, we did not spend much time dining. When we left, there was still about one third of unconsumed food on the table.

When we were leaving the restaurant, we heard someone calling us. We noticed the old ladies in the restaurant were talking about us to the restaurant owner.

When they spoke to us in English, we understood that they were unhappy about us wasting so much food. We immediately felt that they were really being too busybody. "We paid for our food, it is none of your business how much food we left behind," my colleague Gui told the old ladies.

The old ladies were furious. One of them immediately took her hand phone out and made a call to someone. After a while, a man in uniform claimed to be an officer from the Social Security organization arrived. Upon knowing what the dispute was, he issued us a 50 Mark fine. We all kept quiet. The local colleague took out a 50 Mark note and repeatedly apologized to the officer.

The officer told us in a stern voice, "ORDER WHAT YOU CAN CONSUME, MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY. THERE ARE MANY OTHERS IN THE WORLD WHO ARE FACING SHORTAGE OF RESOURCES. YOU HAVE NO REASON TO WASTE RESOURCES."

Our face turned red. We all agreed with him in our hearts. The mindset of people of this rich country put all of us to shame. WE REALLY NEED TO REFLECT ON THIS. We are from country which is not very rich in resources. To save face, we order large quantity and also waste food when we give others a treat. THIS LESSON TAUGHT US A LESSON TO THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT CHANGING OUR BAD HABITS.

My colleague Photostatted the fine ticket and gave a copy to each of us as a souvenir. All of us kept it and pasted on our wall to remind us that we shall never be wasteful

Cheers

--
°◕◕♪♪ Ñiκ™♪♪◕◕°

10 Unlikely Places to Pull a Woman

While most of us reckon that meeting a woman is most likely to happen at a nightclub or bar, there can be many more opportunities if you use a little imagination and cast your net a little wider.

A chance encounter can often happen in the most unusual of locations and simply being in the right place at the right time can mean you might meet a new clutch, no matter how random the surroundings...

Airport terminal

For example, consider the airport terminal, an often hellish place full of despondent faces and despairing travellers. Queues are guaranteed and so this is often the place where you can have a meeting of minds with a beautiful stranger.

Even if she's not that beautiful, there's no doubt that a good moan with a lovely lady in the departure lounge will mean that delayed low-budget airline flight is just that little bit easier to stomach.

Dog or cat rescue centre

Women get really soppy when they're in the company of helpless puppies or doe-eyed kittens so get yourself along to the local animal rescue centre pronto to see what's on offer.

Sure, the stench of puppy poo will be unbearable and your eyes will weep with the acrid odour of small furry animal wee but just imagine the hugging potential that'll come out of all this emotion-charged tiny creature shenanigans.

There's bound to be at least one you'll find irresistible and, you never know, you might just get a pet into the bargain!

Parachute jumping

Love is in the air? Well, it might just be as you tumble out of a light aircraft somewhere over Kent. So, is it really possible to hit it off with a woman as you're plunging towards terra firma at a terrifying rate? Actually yes, although conversation topics will be limited and based mainly around whether or not your 'chute has opened.

Don't expect much in the looks department with this pick-up method either as a high-speed descent is notorious for distorting the features of even the most delicious of high-flying heartbreakers.

Online

It used to be something that few blokes would own up to, but online dating has become an acceptable and essential part of the meeting women process nowadays.

No longer do you have to sniff whenever one of your workmates blathers on about how he's pulled this amazing Finnish girl over the electronic marketplace that is the internet. Simply log-on, click and select and you'll soon be matching his Finn with some female fun of your own.

Underwater

Diving is a great sport with plenty to challenge all skill levels and degrees of fitness. More to the point, it can be a great place to hook up with the opposite sex in a magical setting, although you'll need to splash the cash to get there first.

This is a chance to combine exotic locations with even more exotic women, although be wary of those who seem overtly keen on carrying your oxygen tanks. Better to sink below the waves with a petite sea soul named Sandy rather than a burly man-eater called Randy, right? Then again...

Motorway services

Tired of life in the fast lane? Well, pull off and wind down over coffee and doughnuts at the services.

While some see the motorway services as the bane of a motorist's life, these off-the-highway haunts can be a haven for picking up ladies who've lost the desire to listen to Billy Connolly on their sat-nav anymore and want to talk to a real man.

However, don't be tempted to take her for a stroll through the 'Snack n Shop' before you head back for the highway as it'll leave a decidedly nasty dent in your debit card.

Sauna, steam room or jacuzzi

Even if you don't get lucky, you'll get healthy and purge your body of all those toxins with an afternoon or evening session doing the rounds in a sauna, steam room or jacuzzi.

The added benefit is that steam can soften the features of even the most chiselled of ladies, so after subjecting yourself to 40 degrees and counting temperatures for longer than is wise, plus a few ice-cold beers, you'll be thinking that you've arrived in heaven.

Failing that, you'll walk away a few pounds lighter, so it's a win-win situation either way.

Queue for the toilets at a music festival

You'd be surprised who you can bump into while you're up to your ankles in mud at any one of the many music festivals that run throughout the year.

Sure, these aren't exactly salubrious surroundings we're dealing with here, but a few well-chosen words and the offer of your last remaining toilet roll may be enough to get her to come back and inspect your inflatable mattress for its unrivalled bouncability levels.

Maternity ward

Not as creepy as you might be thinking, the maternity ward is invariably a place of happiness and calm, although timing is critical. Turn up at an inopportune moment and you'll be faced with lots of screaming and hysterical men running around. And that's just the cleaning staff.

But turn up at the maternity ward to see the cuddly offspring of a relative or friend and you may well be rewarded with a chance encounter with one of the family friends. And chances are she's gorgeous. The baby doesn't look bad either.

Artificial ski slope

The humble ski slope can be found in numerous locations up and down the country and, if nothing else, they're a great laugh and ideal for relieving work-related stress.

However, get yourself down to one of these faux-piste fantasy lands and you'll also bundle headlong into countless beauties attempting to get their moves up to scratch prior to a white-wine spritzer-fuelled weekend break in Chamonix.

Then again, they may be attempting to add a splash of excitement to an otherwise humdrum afternoon of shopping in the local Arndale Centre. No matter, get your ski's on and show 'em who's the daddy!

By Rob Clymo via: MSN Him

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Apr 29, 2011