GreenGod's Blog: 07/28/11

Jul 28, 2011

Her father told her, "Don't give up, just keep driving!" Now the storm was terrible, but she never stopped driving, and soon she Could see a little more clearly.

After a couple of miles she was again on Dry land, and the sun came out. Her father said, "Now you can pull over and get out." She said "But why now?"

He said "When you get out, look back at all the people that gave up and are Still in the storm, because you never gave up your storm is now over.

This is a testimony for anyone who is going through "hard times".

Just because everyone else, even the strongest, gives up. You don't have To...if you keep going, soon your storm will be over and the sun will shine Upon your face again. This story touched me! Reply If it touched you, too !!!

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°◕◕♪♪ Ñiκ™♪♪◕◕°

Proverbs and their opposites

NEWTON'S THIRD LAW STATES:

"EVERY ACTION HAS AN EQUAL AND AN OPPOSITE REACTION".

SO, IT WOULD STAND TO REASON THAT EVERY PROVERB HAS

AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE PROVERB.

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT	BUT	TIME AND TIDE WAIT FOR NONE
THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD	BUT	ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
WISE MEN THINK ALIKE	BUT	FOOLS SELDOM DIFFER
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE	BUT	THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH
SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE	BUT	TIME WAITS FOR NONE
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP	BUT	STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT
DO IT WELL, OR NOT AT ALL	BUT	HALF A LOAF IS BETTER THAN NONE
BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER	BUT	OPPOSITES ATTRACT
DON'T CROSS YOUR BRIDGES BEFORE YOU COME TO THEM	BUT	FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED
DOUBT IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM	BUT	FAITH WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS
GREAT STARTS MAKE GREAT FINISHES	BUT	IT ISN'T OVER TILL IT'S OVER
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT	BUT	ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY
SILENCE IS GOLDEN	BUT	THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE
YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN	BUT	YOU CAN'T TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER	BUT	ONE MAN'S MEAT IS ANOTHER MAN'S POISON
ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER	BUT	OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND
TOO MANY COOKS SPOIL THE BROTH	BUT	MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK
HOLD FAST TO THE WORDS OF YOUR ANCESTORS	BUT	WISE MEN MAKE PROVERBS AND FOOLS REPEAT THEM

B elow are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!!

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000 . Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?

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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2.. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?

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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round:
I may have sent this one before. I! 'm never sure.

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

He just has to open his mouth and ask....
It's really very simple.... Like you!

PASS TH IS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

--
°◕◕♪♪ Ñiκ™♪♪◕◕°

What Girls Don’t Want Before Having Sex

Usually women have a long list of 'don'ts' that they want their man to know. So, instead of second guessing, just read this list and read her mind the next time you both are getting intimate.

Sloppy music

Music is the clincher as you get set to hit the sack. As you turn down the lights and turn on a little mood music, choose what you are making your gal listen to carefully. What you play may be an indication about where the night is headed. Avoid anything too girly ( Madonna, Avril Lavigne, Miley Cyrus) and do not play music with clear sexual overtones ("Let's Get It On," "Sexual Healing,").

Turn off the phone

Have you ever answered a call mid-way during sex and lived to regret it? Turn your phone off while getting intimate with your lady love. Interruptions can really put a damper on your sexual tempo, and if it is your mom calling, your girl is probably putting on her jacket and getting ready to leave.

Groping is out

Well, even though you might want to lay your hands on your gal, be recommend you exercise caution. Grabbing her assets, pinching her butts or ripping open her clothes is a big turn off. Moving randomly from body part to body part is thoroughly confusing and never gives your girl a chance to get into the mood. Move slowly from one body part to the next - lightly caressing first, then with increased passion.

Begging

Most women have clearly defined limits, before the date about just how far she is willing to go, but men can change their minds. At the end of the evening, give her a passionate kiss to sweep her off her feet. This is when she may just reconsider going home with you. If she still isn't interested and expresses a clear discontent, do not whine or beg. If you beg, you will never get a second chance –ever.

Being in a hurry

Women take a lot of time to feel sexually into the moment. Most women loved being kissed, touched, caressed, and more than two minutes to reach the big O. So take time to focus on her. If you aren't satisfying her, she could get frustrated (or bored) and call it a night.

Sloppy kissing

It doesn't matter how hot a dude is, if he can't kiss well, he ain't getting past first base. When you lean in for the first end-of-the-date smooch, remember to control your tongue. Don't unnecessarily lick her teeth, chin, cheeks, forehead, etc., and try not to stick it down her throat. It's a major turn off for women. Also, ensure you have pleasant breath, bad breath sucks!

Dull conversation

All women dig compliments, but too many "Oh babys" can mar her mood. Going over-the-top with banter is a clear sign that the conversation is fake and forced. Concentrate on being your natural self. If things are really becoming passionate, don't ask unnecessary questions: "Do you like it when I kiss you?" "Does my hand feel good on your body?" Her responses will tell you if you are impressing her enough.

Keep your hands off when she's not in the mood

Women get turned off by men who can't keep their hands off them. Do not hand her a glass of wine, turn on some music, lower the lights and then stick your hand in her pants. You'll just be regarded as a desperate dude!

Asking for permission

Most girls like a man who loves taking charge, so when you ask for permission every step of the way you come across as a weak wimp. Asking her "May I please kiss you?" at the end of a date, or "Are you OK?" when kissing is a major dampner. Rather analyse the situation; if she's really into it, be a man and take the plunge.

The Man Who Controlled her Wife

God comes and says :-

"I want the men to form two queues :-
one queue for men who had control over their women and the other one for the men who were controlled by their women.

Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk.

God returns, the women are gone, and there are two queues.
The queue for men who were controlled by their women is 10 miles long, and in the queue for men who had control over their women there is only one man.

God is flabbergasted and says, " All you men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your women.

Only one of my sons stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"

"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this queue?"

The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here.

--
°◕◕♪♪ Ñiκ™♪♪◕◕°

Military Humor 2

Military Humor

Military humor is humor based on stereotypes of military life. Military humor portrays a wide range of characters and situations in the armed forces. It comes in a wide array of cultures and tastes, making use of burlesque, comic strips, double entendre, exaggeration, jokes, parody, pranks, ridicule and sarcasm.

Here is another collection of very funny pictures of what happens when our troops get bored..