Nov 6, 2012
Sex FAQs: Fact or fiction?
While sex and the desire for it plays such an important part in our lives, we all want to have a better grasp on it. But truth be told, many of us still search for the right kind of information in order to practice exciting, yet safe, sex. Here are the top sex queries that you must know about!
Fiction: Erectile dysfunction is not treatable.
Fact: This is the biggest myth of all. ED is indeed treatable. Infact, here are a few lifestyle tips you should keep in mind: Check your alcohol intake, stop smoking, follow a healthy exercise and dietary regimen and keep your diabetes under watch.
Fiction: It is impossible for a woman to get pregnant, if at all a man pulls out.
Fact: The rhythm method, also known as the pull out method is the worst case scenario for birth control. Men are not always aware of when exactly the fluid is about to seep out. It is said that one in every 5 couples, who follow this method as the only form of birth control, get pregnant. Watch your chances!
Fiction: A night-long sexual performance comes naturally.
Fact: Unfortunately, this isn't true for all of us. As with everything else in life, sexual aptitude and sexual appetite differ from person to person. Further, if you want to be an ace in bed, you will need to be in good shape to be able to support that kind of physical exertion!
Fiction: I'll come in contact with STDs only when I am regular with sex, else I am safe.
Fact: It is not necessary to have sex in order to come in contact with STDs. Even skin-to-skin contact is enough for the spread of HPV virus, which in some cases can cause genital warts.
Fiction: Once I come in contact with HIV, I am surely going to get AIDS.
Fact: This is simply not true. Even though there is no sure shot cure for HIV, there are many medications and dietary rules available by which you can suppress the virus. Talk to your doctor in detail about it and be proactive about strengthening your immune system.
Fiction: Condoms do not have expiry dates. I can use one anytime, anywhere.
Fact: Condoms, like any other grocery product, comes with an expiry date. You can use one for three to five year. Best is to check for its printed expiry date before use.
Fiction: I don't know how good latex condoms are. Are they good for prevention of STDs and pregnancies?
Fact: Latex condoms are good for prevention of STDs and pregnancies. However, if one is allergic to latex condoms you should talk in detail with your doctor and ask him to recommend you polyurethane condoms instead.
Fiction: Erectile dysfunction is linked to heart disease.
Fact: Yes, in some cases it has been linked to heart disease. In fact, erectile dysfunction can be linked to cardiovascular diseases in whole. Studies have time and again shown that all men who suffer from ED should get checked for heart diseases.
By Mansi Kohli
Image Source: Thinkstock photos/Getty Images
Have the Best One-Night Stand of Your Life
This isn’t a huge surprise. Inhibitions drop when you escape business attire, Microsoft Excel, and your overbearing boss for a week. Still, I find it disconcerting that women are often judged for such encounters, and sometimes regret the decision as a result.
Consider a Durham University study in which 80 percent of men rated their feelings after a one-night stand positively, compared to only 54 percent of women. What’s more, many of the women reported feeling “used.” Not shocking when you think about it. After all, “walk of shame” usually refers to a woman.
But if both parties are consenting, what’s so shameful?
“It’s the lock and key thing,” says one of my guy friends. “A woman who has casual sex is like a weak lock because she’ll open for anyone.” [Insert I’m-so-sick-of-this-analogy groan here.] “But a key [the man] that opens any lock is the master key.”
Translation: A woman is supposed to “stay strong” and resist temptation. And if she doesn’t? She’s flawed. Weak. (Can someone please demand a product recall on these completely inadequate locks?) Besides, should sex really be about breaking into something? (*Cough, slippery slope, cough.*)
Now, I know the majority of guys are respectful, but I’ve heard some variation of this “lock and key” analogy—even from friends, niceguys—way too many times. Not only is it a double standard, it’s stopping many of you from having truly amazing sex. Just imagine if a woman didn’t feel like she was “giving in,” doing something wrong, and actually started enjoying herself. Everyone would win.
The first step: Be respectful during your one-night stands—whether or not either of you wants a relationship. The more respectful men are, the more (and better) sex everyone will have. Here’s how.
While you’re hooking up
Be generous. No one really expects a one-night stand or first-time sex to be mind-blowing. You don’t need to be amazing—women know that there’s a lot of pressure on guys to perform—but you should try. It says that you care about her enjoyment, too . . . even if it’s only a one-time thing.
After the act
Talk to her. I don’t mean dirty talk (unless that’s what you’re into). I’m talking about a person-to-person conversation afterward. (If you’re too tired immediately after, do it the next morning.) It doesn’t need to be “sweet nothings,” and you don’t need to ask about her hopes and dreams—just something that indicates she’s more than a means for your pleasure. Maybe even cuddle. (Men like it, too.) What not to do: Roll over afterward, then point to the door the next morning.
Think of it this way: You both shared something—whether there were emotions involved or not. Respect the moment (and her)—even if you have no intention of seeing each other again.
The next morning
Be a gentleman. You don’t necessarily need to make a gourmet breakfast and walk her home. But if it’s raining in the morning, lend her an umbrella. If she left her jacket at the bar, lend her a sweatshirt. You get the idea. Trust me, being polite isn’t going to make her want a relationship if she doesn’t want one in the first place.
Long-term
Return to normalcy. Let’s say you were friends—and you don’t want anything more or less. Behave exactly as you did before hooking up. If you Gchat her everyday at work, then Gchat her everyday at work. It’s only weird and awkward if someone makes it weird and awkward. Don’t let it be you.
You may have noticed that the foundation of some of this advice is simple consideration for another human being. (I mean, you’d probably lend an umbrella to an acquaintance if he didn’t have one, right?) See, a funny thing happens when you see the woman in your bed, not as weak lock, but as—wait for it—a woman in your bed. Respect follows without a second thought—as will better, uninhibited sex.
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