In a Test between India and Australia, the fiery Bret Lee was sending quivers down the Indian spine. The new batsman, our Santa, walked slowly to the crease, not feeling unlike a lamb at the slaughter house.
As Lee thundered in, suddenly Santa stood up in the crease, and signalled that he wanted the sight screen adjusted. Adjustments were made and Brett Lee was ready to come in again.
Once again, in the middle of his run-up, Santa found something disturbing in the sight screen. Indeed, this went on a few times before the irritated umpire, Steve Bucknor walked up to the batsman and enquired, "Where do you want the sight screen, for God's sake?"
Santa asked, with an ounce of fear, "Could I have it between Lee and me?"
Feb 8, 2010
Twenty-20 World Cup Final Post match presentation interview
Twenty-20 World Cup Final Post match presentation interview bcaption Dhoni:etween Shastri and winning
In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni, "All us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar... he didn't played in the final"..
Dhoni, "Yeaph.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri, "ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning this final..."
Dhoni, "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to prepare for the final..."
Shastri, "Is it? ?.... how the doctor helped to prepare for the final... he is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni. . I am getting confusion"
Dhoni, "Ravi... nothing to confuse... he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team.. thus we weigh the doctor's contribution as very high... infact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic worked well"
Shastri, "To whom you want to dedicate this World Cup?"
Dhoni, "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly..."
Shastri, "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so much pect to the seniors....and you ....."
Dhoni interrupts.. .. "Ravi.. let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches if they decided to play in the series... thank god they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup.."
Shastri, "The match was thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of Misbah.. Isn't it? "
Dhoni, "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he has send the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that there is a malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake has costed the game and won the cup..."
Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP and thats the end of the great Twenty20 world cup
In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni, "All us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar... he didn't played in the final"..
Dhoni, "Yeaph.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri, "ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning this final..."
Dhoni, "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to prepare for the final..."
Shastri, "Is it? ?.... how the doctor helped to prepare for the final... he is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni. . I am getting confusion"
Dhoni, "Ravi... nothing to confuse... he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team.. thus we weigh the doctor's contribution as very high... infact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic worked well"
Shastri, "To whom you want to dedicate this World Cup?"
Dhoni, "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly..."
Shastri, "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so much pect to the seniors....and you ....."
Dhoni interrupts.. .. "Ravi.. let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches if they decided to play in the series... thank god they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup.."
Shastri, "The match was thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of Misbah.. Isn't it? "
Dhoni, "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he has send the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that there is a malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake has costed the game and won the cup..."
Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP and thats the end of the great Twenty20 world cup
Drunk Santa
Santa walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a taxi called for him.
Santa is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, Santa stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a taxi for him.
Santa looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, Santa bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a taxi or the police will be called immediately.
Surprised Santa looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a taxi called for him.
Santa is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, Santa stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a taxi for him.
Santa looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, Santa bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a taxi or the police will be called immediately.
Surprised Santa looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
Sachin & Ganguly ( when 85 yrs Old )
Sachin and Ganguly, 75 and 80 years old are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They sake on it and sadly a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.
One day Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav, Sourav!"
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
"Yes whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well there is cricket in heaven." Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, We are going to open the innings on Friday."
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They sake on it and sadly a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.
One day Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav, Sourav!"
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
"Yes whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well there is cricket in heaven." Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, We are going to open the innings on Friday."
Whose Cat is Smartest
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop
into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies..... ...
drank the milk........
shat on the paper.......
screwed the other three cats........
claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....
put in for Workers Compensation. ......... .....and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave....... .....
AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!
The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop
into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies..... ...
drank the milk........
shat on the paper.......
screwed the other three cats........
claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....
put in for Workers Compensation. ......... .....and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave....... .....
AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!
EASY ....... DIFFICULT
Easy is to get a place is someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give
Easy to read this
Difficult to follow
Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give
Easy to read this
Difficult to follow
Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.
ABOUT HANDSOME AND NON HANDSOME MEN
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money and thank God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW...WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?!?!
Send this to all women & those men that can help us understand them better!!!! Help if u can.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money and thank God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW...WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?!?!
Send this to all women & those men that can help us understand them better!!!! Help if u can.
Nice Thoughts
Living on Earth is expensive,
But it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
*********
Birthdays are good for you;
The more you have, the longer you live.
*********
How long a minute is...
Depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
*********
Ever notice that the people who are late are often
Much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
*********
If ignorance is bliss,
Why aren't more people happy?
*********
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
*********
If WalMart is lowering prices every day,
How come nothing is free yet?
*********
You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.
*********
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
*********
Don't cry because it's over;
Smile because it happened.
*********
We could learn a lot from crayons:
Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull,
Some have weird names, and all are different colors
But they all have to learn to live in the same box.
*********
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
*********
Happiness comes through doors
You didn't even know you left open.
But it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
*********
Birthdays are good for you;
The more you have, the longer you live.
*********
How long a minute is...
Depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
*********
Ever notice that the people who are late are often
Much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
*********
If ignorance is bliss,
Why aren't more people happy?
*********
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
*********
If WalMart is lowering prices every day,
How come nothing is free yet?
*********
You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.
*********
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
*********
Don't cry because it's over;
Smile because it happened.
*********
We could learn a lot from crayons:
Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull,
Some have weird names, and all are different colors
But they all have to learn to live in the same box.
*********
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
*********
Happiness comes through doors
You didn't even know you left open.
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