A STORY is told of an over-credulous washerman who was childless. This preyed upon his mind very much and was a permanent cause of unhappiness. One day, in the course of his work, he went to the house of the town kazi (or magistrate). He heard the kazi reproaching one of his pupils in this wise: "Not long ago you were a jackass; I made a man of you," etc. The washer-man did not wait to hear the rest. He hastened home with all speed and told his wife that he had made a discovery which they were to lose no time in utilizing. "The kazi, my dear," said the washerman, "can make a man of a donkey. Why should we fret any longer for a child? Let us take our donkey to him and beg of him to transform him." The washerman and his wife, with their donkey, were shortly after this conversation on their way to the kazi.
Their mission being explained with many supplications, the kazi, quick-sighted, and with an eye to business, accepted the charge, and promised to effect the metamorphosis in a year. The washerman on his part promised to give his services free for that period. A year passed in waiting and in happy hopes. On the appointed day the washerman and his companion presented themselves before the kazi. The kazi took them aside and pointed out a strong young man among his pupils. "There," he whispered to the washerman, "is your donkey. You see the change: now persuade him and take him home." The washerman and his wife flew to their newly created son, and with many endearing terms prepared to embrace him and made other affectionate advances. Amazed at this unaccountable conduct of these low people, the lad resisted at first, but as they persisted, he grew furious. After receiving many a cuff from the lad, a happy idea struck the washerman's wife: turning to her husband she said, "Go you and fetch his peg, rope, and grain-bag; perhaps they may remind him of what he was once." The washerman in hot haste went home and fetched them. But it seemed to make matters worse. The washerman held up each of these articles to the young man's view, and said, in the most persuasive tone he could command, "Come home, my son. Do you forget the day you were my donkey? This was the peg to which I would tether you, this your tether rope, and this your food-bag; come to your home!" By this time a jeering crowd had gathered round the young man, and this so infuriated him that he turned to and gave the washerman the soundest thrashing he had ever received in his life. The poor dupe of a washerman---the story says---went home thoroughly convinced that what fate had ordained it was useless to fight against, looking upon his punishment as a just return for his presumption.
Jan 1, 2010
5 NUNS IN A BAR
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa , Katherine Marie, Rose Frances
and Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in
New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and
humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable,
they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk
of the fashionable eastside neighborhood..
All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes
when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door
They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted
at what they saw.
(SCROLL DOWN)
this is too cute not to forward..................
and Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in
New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and
humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable,
they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk
of the fashionable eastside neighborhood..
All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes
when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door
They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted
at what they saw.
(SCROLL DOWN)
this is too cute not to forward..................
GIVE US A SENSE OF HUMOR LORD,
GIVE US THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE,
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE,
AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLKS
GIVE US THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE,
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE,
AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLKS
Pathan Doesn’t Pay
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a Pathan got on. Six feet four, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the conductor and said, “Pathan doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.
Conductor didn’t argue with Pathan, but he wasn’t happy about it. The next day the same thing happened. Pathan got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next..
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Pathan was taking advantage of poor conductor. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what’s more, he felt really good about himself. So, on the next Monday, when Pathanonce again got on the bus and said, “Pathan doesn’t pay!“
The driver stood up, glared back at Pathan, and screamed, “And why not?”
With a surprised look on his face, Pathan replied, “Pathan has a bus pass.“
Moral: Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.
Fake Google Logos
This video contains Logos prepared by people who love Google
but were not approved for some or the other reasons
But these logos are worth a look.
but were not approved for some or the other reasons
But these logos are worth a look.
Playing Piano with Legs
Playing piano with hands is not easy for all
and playing piano with legs is the most difficult thing.
We might have seen them in Cartoons, movies
but it is not possible practically
This man made it possible
plays piano with his legs
Watch this amazing video.
and playing piano with legs is the most difficult thing.
We might have seen them in Cartoons, movies
but it is not possible practically
This man made it possible
plays piano with his legs
Watch this amazing video.
Slipping People Japanese Prank
Japanese are always good in creativity
and there creativity showed in their pranks as well
Take a look at this prank where
people are slipping because of slippery floor.
and there creativity showed in their pranks as well
Take a look at this prank where
people are slipping because of slippery floor.
Advice
1. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
*************
2. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can carry easily.
*************
3. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
*************
4. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
*************
5. Don't be afraid to encounter risk. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
*************
6. Don't be afraid to admit you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
*************
7. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
*************
8. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or future. By living our life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
*************
9. Don't take for granted the closest things to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
*************
10. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
*************
11. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Friendship Is like Standing On Wet Cement
Friendship is like standing on wet cement..
The longer you stay,
D harder it is 2 leave, &
U can never go without leaving ur footprints!
Glad 2 hav u as my friend!
In the rhythm of life,
We sometimes find ourselves out of tune,
But as long as there r friends
Like u to provide the melody - the music plays on.
A friend is:
Who lends you...
Pen in School...
Notes in highschool...
Bike in college...
Girlfriend in University...
I may not be
The most important person in ur LIFE...
But
I just hope that
One day whn
U hear my name
U wud just
SMILE & SAY
"Hey that's my friend"
If u drop me, I'll break; if u hold me, I'll shak
If u need me, I'll hurry; if u don't call me, I'll worry
If u hurt me, I'll cry,
But friend, if u leave me, I'll die....
January 1st Stolen Jokes
At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.
He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway."
The guest continued, "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."
~~~~~~~~~
A young man at a New Year's party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' his friend says.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' the man says.
'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'What's phase one?'
'I've quit buying.'
~~~~~~~~~
On New Year's Eve, Peter was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home.
As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.
'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Peter.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'I agree, but my wife will,' slurred Peter grimly.
~~~~~~~~~
On the first working day of the New Year, Peter told his friend Paul, "You won't believe me. I participated the New Year's Eve party at John's. And there I recognized that they have a golden toilet!"
"No, I don't believe that," answered Paul. "John likes to act like a rich man, but he couldn't afford a golden toilet." Peter said, "Why don't we stop by his home after work so you can see for yourself?" After work they went to John's home and rang the doorbell. Mary, John's wife, answered the door. Peter said, "Hi Mary, Paul doesn't believe you have a golden toilet. Could we come in so that he can see it himself?" Mary turned around, and shouted into the house, "John! We know now who shat into your tuba on New Year's Eve!"
---------------------------
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD
16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
13. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
12. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
11. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
9. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.
7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
6. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
5. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...
3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.
2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.
1. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions."
"He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool."
"Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to."
"The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Years Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you are married to."
"New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time."
------------------------
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower.
'How much do you want for the mower?' asked the preacher.
'I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle,' said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, Will you take my bike in trade for it?' The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, 'Mister, you've got yourself a deal.'
The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower.
The preacher called the little boy over and said, 'I can't get this mower to start.'
The little boy said, 'That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.'
The preacher said, I'm a minister, and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't even remember how to cuss.'
The little boy looked at him happily and said, 'You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya.
Myron
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."
--------------------------
New Years Trivia
Hogmanay :
The New Year in Scotland is called Hogmanay. The people in Scotland follow a ritual that appears nutty but actually has a great significance. One can find barrels of tar set afire and gradually rolled down the streets in the villages of Scotland. This ritual symbolizes that the old year is burned up and New Year is going to begin.
Baby New Year Tradition :
The tradition of using a baby to signify the New Year was started around 600 B.C by the ancient Greeks, who, at the start of a year would carry a baby around in a basket. The purpose of it was to honor Dionysus, the God of Fertility and symbolize his annual rebirth.
Burning "Mr. Old Year" :
In Columbia, Cuba and Puerto Rico families stuff a life-size male doll with things and then they dress it up in old clothes from each family member. At the stroke of midnight, this 'Mr. Old Year' is set on fire. This is done with the simple belief that a doll thus stuffed have bad memories or sadness associated with them, and that the burning of these will help one to do away with all past griefs and usher in happiness in life with the coming year.
Eating 12 Grapes :
In Spain people eat 12 grapes as the clock strikes midnight (one each time the clock chimes) on New Year's Eve. This peculiar ritual originated in the twentieth century when freak weather conditions resulted in an unseasonable bumper harvest of grapes. Not able to decide what to do about so many grapes at Christmas time, the King of Spain and the grape growers came up with the idea of the New Year ritual. Now, if only this happened all around the world...
Eating Noodles :
Late on the evening of December 3 1, people of Japan would eat a bowl of buckwheat noodles called "toshikoshisoba" ("year-crossing noodles") and listen for the sound of the Buddhist temple bells, which were rung 108 times at midnight. The sound of these bells is said to purify the listeners of the 108 sins or evil passions that plague every human being.
Gifts in Shoes :
In Greece children leave their shoes by the fireside on New Year's Day (also the Festival of Saint Basil in Greece) with the hope that Saint Basil, who was famous for his kindness, will come and fill their shoes with gifts.
Carrying a Suitcase :
In Venezuela, Argentina, Bolivia, and Mexico, those with hopes of traveling in the New Year carry a suitcase around the house at midnight. Some even carry it around the block to ensure traveling at greater distances.
Burning Crackers :
The people in China believe that there are evil spirits that roam the earth. So on New Year they burn crackers to scare the evil spirits. The doors and windows of every home in china can be seen sealed with paper. This is to keep the evil demons out.
Times Square Celebrations :
The first Ball Lowering celebration atop One Times Square was held on December 31, 1907 and is now a worldwide symbol of the turn of the New Year, seen via satellite by more than one billion people each year. The original New Year's Eve Ball weighed 700 pounds and was 5 feet in diameter. It was made of iron and wood and was decorated with 100 25-watt light bulbs.
Foods :
It was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year. It is still held in some regions that special New Year foods are the harbingers of luck. For that reason, the Dutch believe that eating donuts on New Year's Day will bring good fortune. The hog, and its meat, is considered lucky because it symbolizes prosperity. Cabbage is another "good luck" vegetable that is consumed on New Year's Day by many. Cabbage leaves are also considered a sign of prosperity, being representative of paper currency. In some regions, rice is a lucky food that is eaten on New Year's Day. The ancient Persians gave New Year's gifts of eggs, which symbolized productiveness.
Rings :
Many cultures believe that anything in the shape of a ring is good luck, because it symbolizes "coming full circle," completing a year's cycle.
Black-eyed peas :
Many parts of the U.S. celebrate the new year by consuming black-eyed peas. These legumes are typically accompanied by either hog jowls or ham. Black-eyed peas and other legumes have been considered good luck in many cultures.
Wearing new slippers :
In China, many people wear in the new year a new pair of slippers that is bought before the new year, because it means to step on the people who gossip about you.
Sealed doors & windows :
During new year , the doors and windows of every home in china can be seen sealed with paper. The Chinese think that this will succeeed in keep the evil demons out.
Just u decide
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well a s she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The doctor told him there is a simple test the he could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
"Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 Feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
"Good Lord, Ralph, are you deaf? I said for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN !"
NA JANE KIS BAAT KI HUME WO SAZA DETA HAI
I may not talk that much 2 u,
But u?will find me waiting,
Every minute jus 2 listen,
2 every piece of ur hrt saying!
Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
Humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
Is umeed ke saath ki ayega SMS aapka,
Humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hein.
NA JANE KIS BAAT KI HUME WO SAZA DETA HAI.
MERI HANSTI HUI AANKHO KO RULA DETA HAI.
AB MUDDAT SE KHABAR NAHI AATI UNKI.
KIYA IS TARAH KOI APNO KO BHULA DETA HAI....
I used to think that dreams do not come true,
But this quickly changed the moment
I laid my eyes on you.
Even if I had 1 wish...
I wouldn't wish for u to love me,
Coz I don't want your love to come from a wish...
But straight from your heart.
But u?will find me waiting,
Every minute jus 2 listen,
2 every piece of ur hrt saying!
Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
Humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
Is umeed ke saath ki ayega SMS aapka,
Humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hein.
NA JANE KIS BAAT KI HUME WO SAZA DETA HAI.
MERI HANSTI HUI AANKHO KO RULA DETA HAI.
AB MUDDAT SE KHABAR NAHI AATI UNKI.
KIYA IS TARAH KOI APNO KO BHULA DETA HAI....
I used to think that dreams do not come true,
But this quickly changed the moment
I laid my eyes on you.
Even if I had 1 wish...
I wouldn't wish for u to love me,
Coz I don't want your love to come from a wish...
But straight from your heart.
No Shadow 2 depress You
No Shadow 2 depress You!
Only Happiness surround You!
Many angels to guard You!
God himself to bless You!
There are my wishes 4 You!
4 Today & Tomorrow & Ever.
Tumse dur rehkar tumhe miss kiya humne
Tumse dur rehkar tumhe miss kiya humne,
Tumhare liye “God” se wish kiya humne,
Examation is garden,
Success is flower,
God bless you,
Power to pluck this flower.
Trusting God won't make the mountain smaller,
But it will make climbing easier.
Hope you will be able to climb,
All your mountains always. Good Luck
I wish a wish 4 you.
It's a wish I wish 4 few.
The wish I wish 4 u is that
All ur wishes come true...
So keep wishing as my best wishes are always with you!
Only Happiness surround You!
Many angels to guard You!
God himself to bless You!
There are my wishes 4 You!
4 Today & Tomorrow & Ever.
Tumse dur rehkar tumhe miss kiya humne
Tumse dur rehkar tumhe miss kiya humne,
Tumhare liye “God” se wish kiya humne,
Examation is garden,
Success is flower,
God bless you,
Power to pluck this flower.
Trusting God won't make the mountain smaller,
But it will make climbing easier.
Hope you will be able to climb,
All your mountains always. Good Luck
I wish a wish 4 you.
It's a wish I wish 4 few.
The wish I wish 4 u is that
All ur wishes come true...
So keep wishing as my best wishes are always with you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)