GreenGod's Blog: 05/24/11

May 24, 2011

BUBBA AND BILLY BOB

Bubba And Billy Bob

Bubba and Billy Bob are walking along the street in Atlanta, and see a sign on a store window which reads,

"Suits: $5.00 each, Shirts: $2.00 each, Slacks: $2.50 each.

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, look here. We could buy a whole gob of these and take them back to Sand Mountain, sell 'em

to our friends and make a small fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cuz if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant

and won't sell that stuff to us. Now I'll talk in a real slow Georgian drawl so;s they don't know that we is from Alabama."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and..."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from South Alabama, ain't ya?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you knowed that?"

"Because this is a dry cleaners"

==========

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no

lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the

horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and

rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm

grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides

down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly

impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from

the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become

entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding

hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from

unconsciousness when to her great fortune... Frank, the Walmart greeter,

sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say Hello.

How to Avoid Falling Prey to Online Scams

Most internet frauds result from poor customer awareness. Here's how you can guard against them

The biggest concern for online customers is the possible theft of their online credentials, especially those relating to net banking. This often happens without the customers' knowledge, enabling fraudsters to steal money from their accounts in a recurring manner.

IDENTITY THEFT

The basic security threat a net banking customer is exposed to while transacting online is the compromise of his/her login credentials and other confidential and personal information, says Shalini Mehta, executive vicepresident, Kotak Mahindra Bank. One of the most common threats that customers face online is 'phishing'. Phishing scammers send fraudulent email disguised as an official request from a bank for account information. Recipients of the scam mail are lured to believe that the email is from the bank and are prompted to click on a particular link. The click causes the fake website to open in a browser and the recipient is usually asked to input the user ID and password of his/her net banking profile. The fraudsters capture these details and use them to their advantage.

Customers get deceived and part with confidential information like an IPIN or net banking password, making it easy for the scamsters to commit a fraud.
'Vishing' and 'identity theft' are some other ways through which customers are tricked to reveal their confidential information online. While 'phishing' is carried out via fraudulent emails, 'vishing' is orchestrated via bogus voice messages and phone calls. In 'identity theft' fraudsters try to obtain the key pieces of personal information such as date of birth, mother's maiden name, passport number, etc, to gain access to the customer's accounts, says Mehta.
In view of the increasing cases of online banking frauds, most banks have implemented 256-bit secure socket layer (SSL) encryption. It is recognised as the best industry standard for encryption of information transmission for net banking sessions.

SHUN PIRATED SOFTWARE

Pirated softwares on an end-user's desktop should not pose any harm to safety features of online banking unless they are injected with malicious codes (malwares) or viruses specifically meant to dynamically alter contents of the visited pages or user input fields, a net banking page, for example, asking additional information such as credit/debit card numbers, ATM PIN, CVV details on a login page, which is never asked by any bank. Pirated softwares sometimes contain malwares or some sort of an automated virus initiated at the time of optical copying.

The biggest risk in using pirated software is that there is no security upgrades available for them. This leads to the software being vulnerable, which can be exploited by the latest trojans. These trojans can then steal customer information from the PC and transmit it to a fraudster, says Vishal Salvi, chief information security officer, HDFC Bank. The solution to these concerns lies both with banks and customers. Bankers as well as IT experts believe it is not the security systems, but poor customer awareness that leads to most internet banking frauds.

Cyber cafes should be strictly avoided for online transactions. There are higher chances of viruses capturing your data from terminals in internet cafes, thereby increasing the scope of misuse. The line and systems of an internet cafe are usually not secure. There is no guarantee about the authenticity of the software on the cafe's system. Further, smart hackers will use desktop cookies saved in the system to access your bank account details. Some counterfeit software might inject key loggers, bots, spywares, which collect all the login credentials with keystroke entries or search locally for any password related files and send them to the fraudsters.

Computers with pirated software can sometimes behave erratically. The worst scenario is when you have downloaded a counterfeit software that may be infected with viruses that will damage your hard drive or cripple your network. Also copying or using pirated/counterfeit copies of software at work or at home puts the entire company or individual at risk of copyright infringement, which may lead to civil penalties and criminal prosecution, Mehta of Kotak Mahindra Bank says.

In view of this, banking sites are regularly scanned for any such injection of malwares or bots by pirated softwares to prevent malware from being downloaded from the banking site itself.

VIRAL ATTACK

The most common trojan impacting bank customers in India in Zeus. This trojan gets downloaded on a user PC when the user clicks on a link, opens an attachment from an unknown user or accesses a website which has the trojan. Once installed in the user's PC, the trojan waits for the user to open the bank's net banking site. As soon as the user opens the site, the trojan starts collecting all the user information, including the user ID, password, account details, etc, and transmits it to a drop site manned by the fraudster. The fraudster is then able to use the compromised credentials to carry out fraud on the customer's account, says Salvi of HDFC Bank.

USE VIRTUAL KEYPAD

While accessing net banking from public computers or internet cafes there is the risk of the customer's password being captured by malicious 'spyware' and 'trojan programmes' designed to capture keystrokes.

To mitigate such risks, banks have implemented the dynamic 'virtual key pad'. Virtual keypad is an online application, which substitutes the physical keyboard with a mouse. When you click on the virtual keyboard option at the time of net banking, the monitor flashes a keyboard on your screen. You have to use the mouse to click on the relevant keys to sign into your net banking ID.

Changing passwords often helps in protecting your account, especially after you may have inadvertently disclosed it to someone. Moreover, avoid passwords that could be obvious, like your spouse's or your pet's names. Alpha-numeric passwords, along with some special character like * or #, are the safest bet.
Lastly, whenever you have to submit sensitive information online you have to check if the site uses encryption to protect your personal data. The URL in the address bar should start with 'https://' and not just 'http://'. So the next time, do not get wary of online transactions. Just follow these security measures for a safe online banking experience.

Safe Way to Internet Transaction

Win32/Bancos and Zeus are among the most common banking malwares, known as trojans, used to steal bank details to perpetrate fraud. Here is how you can prevent any damage

WHAT TO DO

* Make net banking passwords difficult to guess, change them regularly

* Before keying in sensitive information, ensure the site is running in a secure mode by looking for the padlock symbol at the bottom of the browser

* Scan email attachments for viruses before opening them. When unsure about the source of an attachment, delete it

* Tear or shred any old cheques or account statements before discarding them

* Don't share your password or CVV details orally with banks. Bank never asks for confidential information like user ID, password, credit card number, CVV, etc, via mail, SMS or bank initiated phone calls.

* Customers should install a good anti-virus system on their PCs and ensure that it is updated regularly.

WHAT NOT TO DO

* Do not share passwords with anybody, including family members, friends or bank employees

* Don't access bank website from a link provided in an email from any source. Instead, type the address of the bank website in the address bar of browser to access the bank account

* Don't click on any link provided in emails, they may redirect users to a fake/phishing site.

* Never note down user ID, password on piece of paper, documents or phones for easy retrieval.

* Customers should also never use the 'remember password' feature provided by browsers to save their net banking passwords.

* Don't access net banking from cyber cafes. If you have to, use the virtual key board to key in details and ensure you log out of the system once you are done.

BAKERY ASSISTANT

Bakery Assistant
A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter.

Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.

I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says.

The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf.

The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought.

When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves, as he is "having company for dinner."

As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread,

One of the other male customers notices what's going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread.

After many trips she is tired and irritated, and begins to wonder, "why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?"

Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below.

Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd.

Thinking that she can save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man,

Is it raisin for you too?"

No," stammers Steve, "but it's quivering a little

*********'

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and
wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out
to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy.
Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,
..."Good grief, look how smart I am!"
Must be where "Smart Ass" came from!

Stupid Mr Bush

Profile Pictures Explained

Amazing Artworks Combined With Drawing and Photographing

For some artists ordinary drawing is just not enough exciting so they decide to take some extreme efforts in creating something completely different and unique. Ben Heine is one of those brave artists who do not afraid to try to do impossible things. Of course, his drawings are far away from impossible but at least, you shall agree with us when we say that his artworks are extremely hard to achieve.

In order to create his artwork, Ben has to be very good in three things: drawing, balancing or positioning and photographing. His artworks contain all of these three skills combined together and he have to be perfectly precise while doing that because if one of those skills are not good enough, his artwork cannot be completed. We have collected a few of his masterpieces where you can see how Ben combines the real word and the world of painting in his unique way.