COMPUTER IN PUNJABI

Imagine if your computer starts working in Punjabi then what will happen???

You will have commands like these on your computer:

Send = Sutto
Insert = Wich Paao
Attachement = Naal Laao
Edit = Sidda Karo
View = Waikhee Jaao
Forward = Aggay Sutto
Inbox = Undar Da Daak Khaana
Outbox = Baar Da Daak Khana
Trash = Mitti Paao
Recycle Bin = Koore Daan
Sent Items = Pheji Gayee Dak
Address Book = Patay Wali Kaapy
Reply = Phejan Walay Nu Jawab do
Reply All = Saareyaan Nu Jawab do
Delete = Daffa Karo
Download = Thallay Laao
Download All = Saary Cheezan Noon Thallay La ao
Properties = Jaidaad
Connect = Naal Milaao
Fonts = Likhaai
Accounts = Galla
Drafts = Chitheeyaan
Find = Labbo
Run = Pajjo
Setting = Kuri Nu Patao
Paste = Thook Naal Chipkaao
From = Phejan Walaa Banda
To = Door Betha Hoya Banda
Subject = Khaas Gall
Carbon Copy = Koelay Walee Naqal
Blind Carbon Copy = Anni Koelay Walee Naqal
Stationery = Pensal, Rubburd, Shaapnar
Folders = Thailay
High priority = Waddee Takleef

and finally Ctrl+Alt+Delete = Sara Syapa Mukao..

Enjoy it ! 

Did Santa Give You That Present?

Did Santa Give You That Present?


On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the stupidity in the horse's brain instead of on his back."

If Microsoft made toasters

If Microsoft made toasters


If Microsoft made toasters...
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy
a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd
still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000
pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw
enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the
space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster
that let's you control how light or dark you want your toast
to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to
find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters,
but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread
only works with their toasters.

How many bars?

How many bars?


A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously
drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool
and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The
bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he
has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served
additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called
for him?

The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles,
climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the SIDE door
of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink.
The bartender comes over and, still politely - but more firmly,
refuses service to the man due to his inebriation, and again
offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a
moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door,
all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the
BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool,
gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The
bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that
he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either
a cab or the police will be called immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in hopeless
anguish, cries "MAAAN! How many bars do you work at?

Two Angry Neighbours

Two angry neighbours


Two neighbours had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.

So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.

Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.

'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.

Rules for women !!

Rules for women


We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Chota Santa

Chota Santa


Chota Santa stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the Sabji wala:

10 kilo sugar at Rs 1.25 a kilo
4 kilo coffee at Rs1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Rs1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Rs0.83 each

“How much does that come to?” asked Larry.

“Twenty-two rupees and thirty-six paisa.”

“If I gave you three ten rupee bills, how much change would I get?” said Chota Santa.

“Seven rupees and sixty-four paisa,” stated the Sabji wala who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Chota Santa said, as he disappeared through the door, “Mujhe ye sab nahi kharid ne ka he.. mujhe to bas apne kal ke math homework karna tha.“

More toons ... !

OOPS ... !!

"Jealous Goat" ..

HAPPY COUPLE

Once upon a time a couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret.


Editor: "Sir. It's unbelievable. How did you make this possible?" Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had our honeymoon after marriage. We selected the horse riding, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.


On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!!


I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?".


She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!".


Husband: "That's it. I understood her, I accepted her as it is, and hence we are happy ever after. "


One of the Secrets to become Happy is:


"ACCEPT THE PERSON AS IT IS"

Proudy Red Rose

One beautiful spring day a red rose blossomed in a forest. Many kinds of trees and plants grew there. As the rose looked around, a pine tree nearby said, "What a beautiful flower. I wish I was that lovely."








Another tree said, "Dear pine, do not be sad, we can not have everything."








The rose turned its head and remarked, "It seems that I am the most beautiful plant in this forest."








A sunflower raised its yellow head and asked, "Why do you say that? In this forest there are many beautiful plants. You are just one of them." The red rose replied, "I see everyone looking at me and admiring me."














Then the rose looked at a cactus and said, "Look at that ugly plant full of thorns!" The pine tree said, "Red rose, what kind of talk is this? Who can say what beauty is? You have thorns too."








The proud red rose looked angrily at the pine and said, "I thought you had good taste! You do not know what beauty is at all. You can not compare my thorns to that of the cactus."








"What a proud flower", thought the trees.








The rose tried to move its roots away from the cactus, but it could not move. As the days passed, the red rose would look at the cactus and say insulting things, like: This plant is useless? How sorry I am to be his neighbor."








The cactus never got upset and he even tried to advise the rose, saying, "God did not create any form of life without a purpose."










Spring passed, and the weather became very warm. Life became difficult in the forest, as the plants and animals needed water and no rain fell. The red rose began to wilt. One day the rose saw sparrows stick their beaks into the cactus and then fly away, refreshed.








This was puzzling, and the red rose asked the pine tree what the birds were doing. The pine tree explained that the birds got water from the cactus. "Does it not hurt when they make holes?" asked the rose.








"Yes, but the cactus does not like to see any birds suffer," replied the pine.








The rose opened its eyes in wonder and said, "The cactus has water?"








"Yes you can also drink from it. The sparrow can bring water to you if you ask the cactus for help."








The red rose felt too ashamed of its past words and behavior to ask for water from the cactus, but then it finally did ask the cactus for help. The cactus kindly agreed and the birds filled their beaks with water and watered the rose's roots.








**********






Lesson to learn from the Story :Thus the rose and all of us learned a lesson and never judged anyone by their appearance again.

Two Prostitutes

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00."


A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.




Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."


One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?!"


"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."




So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.


The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again.


Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read:


"TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER — $50.00."

Worth

Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. The soldier asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring his fallen comrade back.




"You can go," said the Lieutenant," but don't think it will be worth it.




Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away."








"The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway.




Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company's trench. The officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.




"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded."




"It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier.




"What do you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead."




"Yes Sir," the soldier answered,




"but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say....




"Jim...I knew you'd come."






*******




Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it.




Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life........