Who is the dumbest?

1. The man who removes his shoes to enter a taxi.

 

2. The man who goes to the bank with a spanner to open an account.

 

3. The man who watches n who goes to bed with a ruler just to know how long he has slept.

 

4. The man who watches news on TV... and waves at the news reader.

 

5. A nurse who wakes up a sleeping patient simply becos she forgot to give him sleeping pills.

 

6. The man who turns down the volume of his TV becos he wants to read a text message.

 

7. The man who sprays himself with insecticide to keep mosquitoes away.

 

8. A man who polishes his shoes to take passport sized photo.

 

9. A man who climbs a mango tree to check if the mangoes are ripe enough... then comes down & starts stoning to pluck the mangoes.

 

10. A man who chooses to drink Fanta because he thinks Sprite is unripe.

 

11. A man who puts his radio inside the refrigerator because he wants to listen to cool music.

Dying Indian Milkman

 

Dying Indian milkman

An Indian milkman who is dying in the hospital  is surrounded  by his two sons, daughter and his wife and nurse.
  
Says to his eldest son:
- To you, Shankar, I leave the Beverly houses.

- To you, my dear daughter Pooja, I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza.
    
- To you, Akash,  being my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center offices.
  
- And you, my dear wife Punam,  the three residential building towers in downtown.

The nurse, impressed, tells his wife:  Madam, your husband is very rich. He is bequeathing many properties!  You all are so lucky!!
  
And the wife retorts:  
  
Rich??? Lucky???  Are you kidding me!!!?? Those are his routes where he delivers milk !!!

 

Love Your Irritations

A psychiatrist was consulted by a man whose marriage and career were both in serious trouble. His problem was his constant irritability and bad temper. He was concerned about this himself, but if any one tried to discuss it with him, he exploded in anger. He constantly told himself that everyone was picking on him and that he had to defend himself against them.

 

To counter the negative auto suggestion, he advised him to use positive auto suggestion. Several times a day in the morning, noon, and at night prior to sleep he was to repeat to himself.

 

From now on,I shall grow more humor, joy, happiness,and cheerfulness are now becoming my natural states of mind.

 

Every day I am becoming more and more lovable and understanding.

 

I will be center of cheer and goodwill to all those around me, infecting them with my good spirits.

 

This happy, joyous, and cheerful mood is now becoming my normal, natural state of mind. I am grateful.

 

After a month, his wife and his coworkers remarked on how much easier he was to get along with.

 

The things that drive you crazy are actually giant opportunities. The people who press your buttons are actually your greatest teachers. The issues that make you angry are actually your biggest gifts. Be grateful to them. Love them.

 

The people or circumstances that take you out of your power have extraordinary value: they reveal your limiting beliefs, fears and false assumptions. The celebrated psychologist Carl Jung once said: "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." Powerful point. The things that irritate, annoy and anger you are entry points into your evolution and elevation as a human being. They are signposts for what you need to work on and the fears you need to face. They are gifts of growth. You can blame the people who trigger you and make it all about them. Or you can do the wise thing and look deeply into yourself to discover the reason for your negative reaction. Use the challenges to grow self-awareness. Because how can you overcome a fear you are not even aware of? And how can you transcend an insecurity you don't even know you have?

 

As you begin to shed light on your personal weaknesses and take responsibility for them, you actually begin the very process of shedding them. You become stronger. More powerful. You begin to see the world through a different set of eyes.

 

Khalil Gibran, one of the greatest thinkers, once wrote: "I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am grateful to those teachers"

Take A Break-You Need One

Take A Break-You Need One

 Take a break for some smiles!