Nice Quotes

The only thing we never get enough of is love;
and the only thing we never give enough of is love.
~Henry Miller~

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry,
and one who has any faith in God should be
ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
~Mahatma Gandhi~

You maintain the balance of responding to situations
with a cool head and to people with a warm heart.
~unknown~

If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more.
If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough.
~Oprah Winfrey~

Tears are a gift that cleanses the body of toxins and nourishes
the seeds of hope that can grow even in a broken heart.
~Unknown~

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past.
You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures
and heartaches.
~unknown~

I keep my friends as misers do their treasure,
because, of all the things granted us by wisdom,
none is greater or better than friendship.
~Pietro Aretino~

Hearing is one of the body's five senses.
But listening is an art.
~Frank Tyger~

I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
~Louisa May Alcott~

It is not the size of your wallet that counts but the size of your heart.
~unknown~

think of life as a good book. The further you get into it,
The more it begins to make sense.
~Harold S. Kushner~

Insulting a Woman

A newly wed couple Naren and Nita came to live in an apartment where right across lived a young attractive man.

Naren was bragging to his friend, "My wife is so smart that she caught the guy across the window peeping us nude in action into our Apartment. She was so angered that she wanted to go there and kill the bastard, if I didn't stop her."


The highly impressed friend praised, “You are lucky, she seems to be the woman of high family value, principles, and character."


Naren replied, “No man, she got mad when the guy across the window shut his window on us.”

Troubled Husband

Dear Mrs. Fenton,


Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store.


We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.


We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.


Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused.


All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.


Mr. Wally
President and CEO

Wal-Mart Complaint Department


----------------------------------


MEMO


Mr. Bill Fenton


Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:


*********

1. June 15:

Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.


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2. July 2:

Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.


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3. July 7:

Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.


*********

4. July 19:

Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in homewares..... and watched what happened.


*********

5. August 4:

Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.


*********

6. September 14:

Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


*********

7. September 15:

Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows fromthe bedding department.


*********

8. September 23:

When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'


*********

9. October 4:

Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.


*********

10. November 10:

While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.


*********


11. December 3:

Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.


*********

12. December 6:

In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.


*********

13. December 18:

Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"


*********

14. December 21:

When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"


*********


(And; last, but not least!)


15. December 23:

Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"