VIAGRA DIARY

Viagra Diary Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, gimme a break. He's been dysfunctional for so long that he even walks with a limp. Day 3. This  marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears. Day 4. A miracle has happened!  There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem.' It's  called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. He said, 'this time, I'd rather not have your mother join us.'  I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his  mood. Day 7. This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. Get over yourself! Day 8. I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker. Sore as hell... Day 10. Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with hard cider! The photo of Janet Reno isn't working. What am I gonna do? I feel tacky all over. Day 11. The side effects  are starting to get to him. Everything is turning blue. The other day, we were watching Hamlet and he thought it was "The Smurfs Do Denmark." Even my armpits hurt. He's a nasty man. Day 12. Ok, I'm basically being drilled to death. It's like going out with a Black and Decker power tool. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Day 13. I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and I keep saying 'fabulous,' and still he keeps coming after me!  Even yawning has become dangerous! Day 14. Now I know how Saddam Hussein's wife feels. Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack!  It's like going to bed with a scud missile. Let's hope he's not like ex-President Bush and takes 100  days to pull out. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" butt-thing again, I'm gonna kill him. Day 15. I've done everything to turn him off.  Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun. Now he tells me "Sister Wendy" makes "Father Woody" want to bark like a dog. Help me. Day 16. I think I will have to kill him. Then he'll go out the way he wants to... stiff. With my luck, I won't be able to close the casket. I'm starting to adhere to everything I sit on. The cats are afraid of him and the neighbors no longer come over. Last night I told him to screw himself. He did. He must die.

SS Ward !

Today's Titillating Tits !!

Finkstrom's Funnies ...

Comixx .... Fish Story

Today's Toons !

The View From Here ..

Babes ... A Visit With Lucy Pinder

Sneyd's Humor

How Poor Are We

How Poor Are We 

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

 

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

 

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the trip?'

 

'It was great, Dad.'

 

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

 

'Oh yeah,' said the son.
'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

 

The son answered:

 

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

 

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

 

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

 

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

 

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

 

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

 

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

 

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

 

The boy's father was speechless.

 

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

 

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

 

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

 

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

 

'Life is too short and friends are too few.'

Awesome Animated GIF Photography

Awesome Animated GIF Photography Animated Gif Photography is a source of adding life to photography. Kevin Burg, a master in animations helped Jamie Beck, a New York city bases fashion photographer, to express her photography in aminations. This issue is called "Cinemagraphs". Their work has been very famous in recent days and still getting attention. Few Gifs are featuring Canadian supermodel Coco Rocha. Rocha says Jamie Beck Cinemagraphs are "more than a photo, but not quite a video."

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Baseball

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Relationships

Relationships

 

Relationship isn't about finding the right person. But creating the right relation. It isn't how much you care in the beginning, but how much you care till the end.

The weakest part of a Relation comes when one of the Person has to give explanation to prove the TRUST!

A Good Relationship is not when two 'Perfect people' come together; It is when two 'Imperfect people' learn to enjoy the Differences!

The Minute U think of giving up any Relation - Think of the reason why U held it for so Long!

Learn the wisdom of COMPROMISE - It is better to bend a little, rather than to break a Relationship forever!

A Relationship doesn't shine by shaking hands in the BEST of times; But, it blossoms by holding Hands firmly in the MOST Critical situations!

Would like to add my most Favorite Quote on Relationships along with this Post :-

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us, That's why, it's a comfort to go HAND IN HAND.

 

 

The Best Royal Kiss

True Horror Story...

True Horror, which took place last month....

This happened about a month ago near Lonavala. A guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wants to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reaches the ghats his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It's dark and raining. And pretty soon he's wet and shivering. The night rolls on and no car goes by, the rain is so heavy he can hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. It slows and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opens the door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved him.

When he realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!

Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming. Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life.

He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend.

The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.

Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches Opens the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights.

It's a small town. He stumbles into a dhaba, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he
starts talking about the horrible experience he's just been through.

There is dead silence in the dhaba when he stops talking ......

Go on reading . The scariest part is still ahead..

.... And that's when Santa and Banta Singh walk into the dhaba. Santa points and says "Look Banta - that's the weird guy who got into our car when we were pushing it."

-- 

Obama Announces Death of Osama Bin Laden

Photo: AP

This image made from video broadcast on Sunday, Oct. 7, 2001 shows Osama bin Laden at an undisclosed location.

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U.S. President Barack Obama has announced that the world's most wanted terrorist, al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden, was killed by U.S. forces Sunday during a firefight at a compound deep inside Pakistan.

Mr. Obama made the announcement during a live nationwide television address at the White House Sunday night.

This development comes nearly 10 years after the catastrophic attacks by al-Qaida operatives on the United States on September 11, 2001.

U.S. forces have been hunting the Saudi terrorist kingpin ever since. Sunday's action was conducted in Abbotabad, in the Hazara area on the edge of Punjab.

Mr. Obama said bin Laden was not a Muslim leader, but a "mass murderer of Muslims." The president said bin Laden was located with the help of Pakistani intelligence, and that he authorized the operation after months of pursuing an intelligence lead.

Mr. Obama called the operation the most significant achievement in the mission to defeat al-Qaida, and said bin Laden's demise should be welcomed by all those who believe in peace and human dignity. The president said "justice has been done."

Watch President Obama's Announcement:

Former U.S. president George W. Bush called bin Laden's death a "momentous achievement" that marks a victory for America. Mr. Bush, who was president during the 2001 terror attacks, said in a statement Sunday that America has sent "an unmistakable message" that justice will be done.

Former president Bill Clinton also issued a statement Sunday congratulating Mr. Obama and members of the U.S. armed forces. He said it was a "profoundly important moment" for the families of those killed in the September 11 attacks, and for those around the world who want to build a future of peace and freedom.

Mr. Obama said he spoke by telephone with Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari, and that Sunday was a good and historic day for both nations.

President Obama said there is "no doubt" al-Qaida will continue to pursue attacks, and he said the U.S. must remain vigilant at home and abroad.

The U.S. State Department has issued an alert warning of "enhanced potential for anti-American violence" following bin Laden's death.