Policeman Kills Self After Girlfriend’s Facebook Posting

A New York City police officer shot and killed himself in the wee hours of Tuesday morning after reading hisgirlfriend’s postings on Facebook.

Philip Chlanda, panicked after finding out that his girlfriend, whom police have not identified, was allegedly communicating with a Facebook friend about possibly breaking off their relationship. The 29-year-old officer and his lover had only been together for a few months.

The pair’s confrontation took place at 3 a.m., inside Chlanda’s parent’s third floor apartment in Manhattan’s exclusive Murray Hill section.

The couple vehemently argued over the girlfriend’s postings and when she told the four-year police force veteran that she had planned on leaving him, the situation escalated. Chlanda stormed out of the apartment, went to his parked squad car and pulled out a 9mm gun. The woman followed Chlanda and watched as he professed his love for her, pointed the trigger towards his head and fatally shot himself.

According to police reports, the woman placed a call to 911 at 3:20 a.m. Chlanda was rushed to nearby Bellevue Hospital where he was later pronounced dead.

Reportedly, Chlanda was quite the marksman and a nationally-ranked long rifle expert.

Do you think there’s ever any reason to invade the privacy of a partner’s Facebook page?

Photo courtesy of Associated Press.

Fallacious Forewarnings (Funny)

Fallacious Forewarnings

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom)
"Do not turn upside down."
 

 

On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a newsflash)
 
 
On Boot's childrens cough medicine 
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." 
 

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding 
"Product will be hot after heating." 

 

On a Sears hairdryer 
"Do not use while sleeping." 

 

On a bag of Doritos 
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

 

On a bar of Dial soap
"Directions: Use like regular soap."

 

On some Swanson frozen dinners 
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

 

On packaging for a Rowenta iron 
"Do not iron clothes on body."  

 

On Nytol Sleep Aid 
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
 

 

On most brands of Christmas lights 
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
 
(What are other doors prohibited?)
 

 

On a Japanese food processor 
"Not to be used for the other use."
 

 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts 
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

 

On a child's Superman costume 
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
 
 
On a Swedish chainsaw 
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

TERMS FOR FEMALE MASTURBATION

Terms for Female Masturbation Back by Popular Request: 5 Digit Disco Buzzing the honey hole Backslappin' Betty Bailing out the Gravy Boat Beaver bashin' Bouncing the bearded clam Buffing the box Buffing the jewel Buttering up the whisker biscuit Clam twiddlin' jamboree Critter crammin' Damming the beaver Dialing "O" on the little pink telephone Diddling miss daisy Diggin' for clams Digitis Erectus Fingering the fountain Flicking the minnow Friday night lip service Frosting the muffin of love Giving yourself the finger Going for the gooey duct Impeaching Bush Juicing the clam Let your fingers do the walking Lip smacking Menage a'moi Petting the kitty Piddly Diddler Playing the squeezebox Pokin' the pie Polishing the little pink pearl Pumping the kooter Punchin' the chipmunk Reading in Braille Riding the clitoris-sauras Romancing thy own Roughing up the suspect Self-guided tuna boat tour Smacking Jerry Garcia on the nose Spanking Lucy Stroking the newt Ticklin' the taco Tissue tickling Twirling the pearl Unbuttoning the fur coat Warming the wrist rocket """""""""""" """"""" There was a young girl in Berlin Who eked out a living through sin. She didn't mind fucking, But much preferred sucking, And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.   There once was a man named Mort, Whose dick was incredibly short, When he climbed into bed, His lady friend said, "That's not really a dick, its a wart!"   There once was a man from Spleen, Who invented a wanking machine, On the 99th stroke, The fucking thing broke, And whipped his balls into cream!

I HAVE SINNED

I Have Sinned   Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." "What have you done Tommy O'Connor?" "I had sex with a girl." "Who was it, Tommy?" "I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin." "Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" "No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was." "Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No father, please forgive me for my sin." "Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O'Keefe." "No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was." "Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary's and 4 Our Fathers and you will be abolished of your sin." So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. "What did ya get?" asked Joseph. "Well I got 5 hail Mary's 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads."   """""""""""" """"""""" """""""" Four nuns are killed and arrive at the Gates of Heaven. They line up in front of St Peter. The first nun says "St Peter, I once saw a man's penis. May I still enter?" St Peter replies "Wash your eyes in this font of holy water and proceed." The second nun says "St Peter, I once touched a man's penis. May I still enter?" St Peter replies "Wash your hands in this font of holy water and proceed." St Peter suddenly notices a scuffle between the last two nuns. The fourth nun is trying to cut in front of the third nun. "What is going on?" he asks the fourth nun. "I'm trying to go first so I can wash my mouth out before she sticks her arse in the font".

Compilation of Girls with Tattoos

Girls with tattoos are so beautiful. These girls are nice and pretty cool when i saw these girls I concluded that tattoos are very beautiful. Tattoo process are very long and painful but these girls are very brave. See some cool tattoos :

Nice excuse

A fellow bought a new Mercedes on the Christmas eve and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

 

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

 

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further.

 

The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him.

 

"What in the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

 

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Christmas eve. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

 

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice Christmas," said the officer.

25 Weirdest and Unbelievable Bras

1. LumiTop Bra

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2. Headlight Bra

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When the headlight bra is turned on, it sure turns you on too.

3. Fish tank Bra

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4. World’s Largest Bra

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5. Strapless and backless Bra

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6. Rice Miso Soup Chopstick Bra

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The Rice and Miso Soup bra may look silly and frivolous, but it actually serves an interesting eco-friendly purpose that is to prevent an excess of disposable chopsticks. It has two bowls. One filled with rice and other for soup.

7. Peppermint Bra

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Cool fresh sexy minty bra made of chewable soft mints.

8. Bra-dryer Bra

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Well not for actual wearing, this design takes its inspiration from the presumption that the best possible way to dry bras without ruining their fabric and padding is to dry them on a shape that resembles female breasts.

9. Piggie Heads Bra

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10. LED Bra

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We’ve seen LED ladywear in the past, but these are actually available for purchase with prices beginning at $55. They even do customization, so the style of LED bras are endless!

11. Men’s Premium Brassieres

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The Wishroom japanese shop has sold over 300 men’s bras for 2,800 yen ($30) each. Wishroom Executive Director Akiko Okunomiya said she was surprised at the number of men who were looking for their inner woman.

12. Lock and Key Bra

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13. Faucet Bra

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No worries if you get shipwrecked, huh?

14. i Pod Bra

BROKE MAN IN A WHOREHOUSE

Broke Man In A Whorehouse.   A guy is horny a hell - but broke. He goes to a whorehouse with $5.00, and begs the Madame to give him whatever she can for it. She says "I'm sorry, but that will only cover the rent for ten minutes, and none of my hookers work for free!" The guy gets the room, but has nothing to fuck. He looks out on the ledge of the building and sees a pigeon. Quietly, he opens the window, grabs the poor bird and just fucks the living shit out of it. Satisfied, he goes home. Next week, he returns to the whorehouse, with his pay cheque. He says to the Madame, "I got lots of money now...give me a hooker!". The Madame replies "All of them are busy now, why don't you go to the peep show and get yourself in the mood?". The guy does, and is enjoying the show, when he turns to the guy next to him and says, "Hey, these chicks really know what they're doing huh?", The guy responds, "Yeah, but you should have been here last week, there was this guy fucking a pigeon!"     Two necrophiliacs are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other and says, "You should have seen this hot chick they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm tellin' you, her clit was just like a pickle." "What," the other asks, "green?". "No," says the first, "a bit sour." A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them. His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for supper?" "You'll see", says his dad. They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they're eating. "Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint, its what your mother sometimes calls me." "We're eating asshole!!", she screams. A pregnant woman with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you...", to which the doctor replies "I know...I know..." placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, that's not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

Your Daily Smile ... The Bathtub Test

 

The Bathtub Test

 

 

During a visit to the Huronia Regional Centre in Orillia, I asked the director how do
you determine whether or not a  patient should be institutionalized.

 

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

 

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

 
 
 
  
 
  

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug.  Do you want a bed near the window?"

                   DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ?

 

 

        

Gals in Body Paint

"The Scientist and God"

"The Scientist and God"

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long
way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him
that they were done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer
need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous
things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

God listened very patiently and kindly to the man and after the scientist was
done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this, let's say we have a man
making contest."

To which the scientist replied, "OK, great!"

But God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days
with Adam."

The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a
handful of dirt.

God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!"

__._,_.___

How Bin Laden Sent Emails While in Hiding

Osama bin Laden was able to send emails and circumvent intelligence agencies’ surveillance for years without ever going online himself, the Associated Press reports, quoting sources from the U.S. intelligence community.

Bin Laden wrote the text of emails on his computer at his home in northern Pakistan, then had a courier copy it to a thumb drive and send the message from a remote Internet cafe.

For incoming emails, the process was reversed. Using this method, bin Laden was able to write a very large number of emails without being electronically tracked.

Although this meticulous way of communicating helped bin Laden stay in hiding for so long, it also helped U.S. intelligence operatives retrieve a huge amount of data.

After killing bin Laden, Navy SEALs recovered about 100 flash drives that contained much of his emailcommunication.

The U.S. government has enlisted Arabic speakers from the intelligence community to help examine the contents of the drives.

So far, they’ve discovered a number of email addresses and phone numbers, and the information will likely lead to subpoenas of Internet service providers and additional investigations around the globe.

Worlds Most Expensive Sex Dolls

Worlds Most Expensive Sex Dolls Girls you got real competition now!)))

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