Girl Getting Driver's License
There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's license.
She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her license.
When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.
She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.
The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."
Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.
As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"
Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
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Samples for the Doctor
A man goes to his doctor for an annual check up.
The doctor says "I'll need you to come back tomorrow with a urine sample, a poo sample and a sperm sample".
The man replies "Right so doctor, I'll bring'em by tomorrow"
When he gets home his wife askes "Well what did he say ?"
The man replies "He needs me to bring in a pair of your underwear."
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A man has been going out with this chick for 2 years, and he has never touched her in his life. One night she gets really pissed off with this (cos she's a bit of a randy mare at the best of times) and says to him, "Why haven't you ever shagged me? We've been going out for 2 years now and all you have done is kissed me and touched my tits!!"
He looks scared and replies, "Well, when I was 6 my mum told me that a girl's fanny had teeth and would bite my dick off if it came near"
She laughed like a drain and led him into the room, pulled up her skirt and showed him her eager beaver.
"See", she said, "it doesn't have any teeth!!!"
"Well", he replied, "I'm not fucking surprised with gums like that!"
