Aug 28, 2013

FEMALE PIGS



Female Pigs
 
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take
them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another
farmer who owned five male pigs.

After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything
50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive
thirty miles each, and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m.,
loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the
only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.

While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know
if they are pregnant?"

The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass in the morning,
they're pregnant, if they're in the mud, they're not."

The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off,
loaded
them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try
again.

This continued each morning for more than a week. The next morning he
was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please
look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of
them is honking the horn."

Developing The Power Of Not Looking Back




 
 
 
 

Using the Rubbers (Hilarious)


The 3 Kick Rule




A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina.
 
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
 
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing.
 
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I'm going into retrieve it."
 
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
 
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything!
 
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule."
 
The lawyer asked, "What is the NC three-Kick Rule?"
 
The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
 
The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
 
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the Yankee lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face.
The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
 
The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it's my turn."
 
The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck." 

Funeral of a Hinderance (Story)



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Simply brilliant life hacks


Inspired advice