Bet you never thought of this... New Treatment For Sunburn -
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'
Apr 22, 2010
A WISE DOCTOR
What an interesting way to put it!
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:
'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help!
My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again.
I don't want kids so close together.'
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady:
'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you, too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued:
'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time,
let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born.
If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that
was the best solution. The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been
born and one that's still in the womb.
The crime is the same!
If you agree, please forward.
Together we can help save precious
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:
'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help!
My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again.
I don't want kids so close together.'
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady:
'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you, too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued:
'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time,
let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born.
If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that
was the best solution. The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been
born and one that's still in the womb.
The crime is the same!
If you agree, please forward.
Together we can help save precious
The Eel
Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.
One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Little Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did.
The following morning, Little Johnny described everything to his mother.
'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny.
He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt.
About this time Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.
Finally, I found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.
When Sis saw it, she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake.
Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off.
All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel.
The eel put up a hell of a fight.
Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh.
Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway.
He started hugging and kissing her again.
By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something.
This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it.
After a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel.
I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.
One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Little Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did.
The following morning, Little Johnny described everything to his mother.
'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny.
He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt.
About this time Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.
Finally, I found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.
When Sis saw it, she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake.
Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off.
All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel.
The eel put up a hell of a fight.
Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh.
Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway.
He started hugging and kissing her again.
By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something.
This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it.
After a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel.
I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.
In The Know
Do you know someone who is a huge smart arse who seems to know everything?
When asked why they know they say, "A little birdie told me."
What is important is that they probably aren't lying! It is a little known fact that there are tiny birds that fly very fast, are never seen, and they are everywhere.
Thus, these creatures are called "Flies Unseen Everywhere," or FUE for short.
These birds have an extensive communications network, and they can generally find out anything from anywhere extremely quickly.
Some of these birds befriend certain individuals and communicate with them by making clucking sounds, much like a chicken.
But, they are not stupid like chickens, however, and can establish an informative clucking language with the lucky person they befriend.
This person is then the one who is always in the know; one step ahead of the competition.
And those people who seem to be in the dark?
Those who just don't get it? Those whose standard response to any given question is, "Huh?"
It should be pretty obvious to all, now, that the reason is simply because those people don't have a clucking FUE.
When asked why they know they say, "A little birdie told me."
What is important is that they probably aren't lying! It is a little known fact that there are tiny birds that fly very fast, are never seen, and they are everywhere.
Thus, these creatures are called "Flies Unseen Everywhere," or FUE for short.
These birds have an extensive communications network, and they can generally find out anything from anywhere extremely quickly.
Some of these birds befriend certain individuals and communicate with them by making clucking sounds, much like a chicken.
But, they are not stupid like chickens, however, and can establish an informative clucking language with the lucky person they befriend.
This person is then the one who is always in the know; one step ahead of the competition.
And those people who seem to be in the dark?
Those who just don't get it? Those whose standard response to any given question is, "Huh?"
It should be pretty obvious to all, now, that the reason is simply because those people don't have a clucking FUE.
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