What Girls Don’t Want Before Having Sex

Usually women have a long list of 'don'ts' that they want their man to know. So, instead of second guessing, just read this list and read her mind the next time you both are getting intimate.

Sloppy music

Music is the clincher as you get set to hit the sack. As you turn down the lights and turn on a little mood music, choose what you are making your gal listen to carefully. What you play may be an indication about where the night is headed. Avoid anything too girly ( Madonna, Avril Lavigne, Miley Cyrus) and do not play music with clear sexual overtones ("Let's Get It On," "Sexual Healing,").

Turn off the phone

Have you ever answered a call mid-way during sex and lived to regret it? Turn your phone off while getting intimate with your lady love. Interruptions can really put a damper on your sexual tempo, and if it is your mom calling, your girl is probably putting on her jacket and getting ready to leave.

Groping is out

Well, even though you might want to lay your hands on your gal, be recommend you exercise caution. Grabbing her assets, pinching her butts or ripping open her clothes is a big turn off. Moving randomly from body part to body part is thoroughly confusing and never gives your girl a chance to get into the mood. Move slowly from one body part to the next - lightly caressing first, then with increased passion.

Begging

Most women have clearly defined limits, before the date about just how far she is willing to go, but men can change their minds. At the end of the evening, give her a passionate kiss to sweep her off her feet. This is when she may just reconsider going home with you. If she still isn't interested and expresses a clear discontent, do not whine or beg. If you beg, you will never get a second chance –ever.

Being in a hurry

Women take a lot of time to feel sexually into the moment. Most women loved being kissed, touched, caressed, and more than two minutes to reach the big O. So take time to focus on her. If you aren't satisfying her, she could get frustrated (or bored) and call it a night.

Sloppy kissing

It doesn't matter how hot a dude is, if he can't kiss well, he ain't getting past first base. When you lean in for the first end-of-the-date smooch, remember to control your tongue. Don't unnecessarily lick her teeth, chin, cheeks, forehead, etc., and try not to stick it down her throat. It's a major turn off for women. Also, ensure you have pleasant breath, bad breath sucks!

Dull conversation

All women dig compliments, but too many "Oh babys" can mar her mood. Going over-the-top with banter is a clear sign that the conversation is fake and forced. Concentrate on being your natural self. If things are really becoming passionate, don't ask unnecessary questions: "Do you like it when I kiss you?" "Does my hand feel good on your body?" Her responses will tell you if you are impressing her enough.

Keep your hands off when she's not in the mood

Women get turned off by men who can't keep their hands off them. Do not hand her a glass of wine, turn on some music, lower the lights and then stick your hand in her pants. You'll just be regarded as a desperate dude!

Asking for permission

Most girls like a man who loves taking charge, so when you ask for permission every step of the way you come across as a weak wimp. Asking her "May I please kiss you?" at the end of a date, or "Are you OK?" when kissing is a major dampner. Rather analyse the situation; if she's really into it, be a man and take the plunge.

LITTLE JOHNNY

 

Little Johnny Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa, can I have some beer too?" "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back. "No." "Well, then you're not big enough." Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette. "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again. "No." "Well, then you're not big enough." Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?" Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick, so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough." Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies." ______   A cop stops his patrol car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The guy is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's reaming away with a vengeance. The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?" The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pouring down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke." The cop says, "That's not gonna make him puke." She says, "Yeah? Wait till I put this finger in his mouth." ______   Thought of the Day: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get shitty ideas from.