HOW TO FIND YOUR WIFE ?

A couple went Christmas shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and meet two hours later.


The husband was at their appointed meeting place at the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife. (no surprise there)


After waiting for half an hour, he started looking for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she usually frequented.


Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he approached a beautiful blonde on a mall bench. He smiled at her and said,


"Please, talk to me! Quick!"


She said, "Huh? Why?"


"Because I've been looking for my wife all over this mall and I can't find her," the man replied.


"Excuse me sir, how will talking to me help you find your wife? I have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less where she is."


"Oh, I know you don't know where she is... It's just that I've been looking, but I can't seem to find my wife anywhere around this mall. However, I know every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, like magic, she *suddenly* appears!"

Modern Panchtantra Story

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.




One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe),










He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.








As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."




She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.




Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"




Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.




The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."




The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give




Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer




Asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"




The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!




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Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Cracked Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a Pole Which she carried across her neck.




One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and Always Delivered a full portion of water.




At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot Arrived only half full.




For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only One and a half pots of water.








Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.




But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable That it could only do half of what it had been made to do.




After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the Woman one day by the stream.




"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak Out all the way back to your house."




The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side Of The path, but not on the other pot's side?"




"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower Seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water Them."




"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate The table.




Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to Grace the house."








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Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each Have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.




You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good In them.




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SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell The flowers on your side of the path!

Dying husband....

A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised.




When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me.




You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money."








"Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way," his young wife exclaimed.




"You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you.




Please... Tell me what I can do?"




"Well," the old man gasped, "you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters."