An old bloke in the nursing home couldn't talk. One day, while he was sitting in a chair,
a nurse walked by and noticed that he was leaning to the right. She sat him upright in his
chair and told him to sit still. A while later, the nurse came by again, and this time she
noticed that he was leaning to the left. She straightened him up and told him again to
sit still, or else he might fall out of his chair. The next time she made her rounds, she saw
the old guy leaning forward, about to topple headfirst to the floor, so she tied him into
the chair for his own good.
Later on in the day, his daughter came to visit, and seeing her father strapped into his
chair, asked him what was wrong. The old bloke handed her a note, which she unfolded
and read.
It said, "They won't let me fart."
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A little girl was licking a lollipop at a hairdressers and drops it into a heap of cut hair lying
on the floor, the hairdresser says to her: Oh, "have you got hair on your lollipop"?
"No", answers the little girl, "I'm only three."
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A little boy asked his mother, "Mummy, am I descended from
a monkey?"
The mother replied, "I don't know, son, I never met your father's
folks."
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THERE are three stages on sex in every relationship, and here they are":
Anywhere sex - when you first meet you do it anywhere.
Bedroom sex - After the kids are asleep you have it in the bedroom.
Hallway sex - You pass each other in the hall and say, "Fuck you!"
