70 year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came
back with great results. Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great
physically.
How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your
self and have a good relationship with God?"
George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get
up in the middle of the night, poof! The light goes on & I go to the
bathroom and then poof!
The light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife.
"Thelma," he said,
"George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because
I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up
during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then
poof! The light goes off?"
Thelma replied, "Darn fool's been pissing in the fridge again!"
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Blonde Moments!
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!" The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?" "Yes, anything" the blonde promised. With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door" She did. He then said, "Get on your knees" She did. Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did. He said, "Go ahead...take it out" She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead!" The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly "HELLO.....MOM???
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A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend
says, OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
...The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
