Miscellaneous
A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman ,"Can I smell your pussy?" "F*ck No, you can't smell my pussy!" the woman yells back at him. "Oh." he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then."
****
Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Q: Why did God give women multiple orgasms?
A: So they can fucking moan when they're happy, too.
Why did God give women nipples?
To make suckers out of men.
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly?
A: So you don't poke your eye out.
Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A. Because she blows the horn!
What's the difference between a woman and a volcano?
A volcano never fakes an eruption.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
Q) Why are clams like women?
A) Because when the red tide comes you don't eat them.
When is a pixie not a pixie?
When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.
Q: When do you know a man is desperate ?
A: When he practices yoga just so he can give himself head.
Why are condoms transparent?
So the sperm can enjoy the scenery
Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q. What's the difference between parsley and pussy?
A. Nobody eats parsley.
********
"No bananas," she said, with a sigh,
And a tear trickled down from her eye.
"No cukes, no zucchinis,
No Oscar Meyer weenies,
I'll have to go find me a guy."
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,
And doesn't know where to find 'em...
But a search revealed,
They were out in the field,
With Little Boy Blue behind 'em.
