Unwinding
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a
relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to
their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The
man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses her room to the husband. On
the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband
with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney
fall on her little nosey- wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate
sex and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her
bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on
her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and
says, "Clumsy bitch."
====================
Q: What's more disgusting than a love bite on a haemorrhoid?
A: The bloke that put it there!
Q: How is a faggot like a pretty girl?
A: They both only fuck assholes!
Q: What's 4x3?
A: Twice the age of my girlfriend!
====================
A Pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all
his time at the pub, so one night he took her along with him.
"What'll ya have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.
So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down
in one go.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately
spat it out.
"Yuck, it's bloody shit!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can
drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying
myself every night!"
