A small business owner was faced with a problem that he needed to
downsize his company. He added up all the receipts and discovered he
could get by if he laid off one of his employees. He looked in his files
and discovered that he had two new employees, one named Jill and the
other named Jack. Because they had started on the same day at the same
time, he wondered how he would make the decision on who to fire. Finally
he decided that the first one he saw taking a break would be fired.
About ten minutes later, he saw Jill leaning against the wall
next to the water cooler. He left his office and walked over to her with
a serious look on his face. He turned to her and said, "Jill, I have some
rather bad news. It seems as though I'm going to lay you or Jack off."
Jill looked at her employer and said, "Well, you're going to have
to jack off. I have a headache."
#####
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him.
While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend finishes off some
Peanuts on the coffee table.
As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother,
"Thanks for the peanuts."
She says, "Sure, since I lost my dentures I can only suck
The chocolate off 'em."
#####
A gay guy pays a visit on his doctor and confides that he has, um, a vibrator stuck up his ass.
The doc says, "No problem, I'll have it out shortly."
"Oh, no, don't remove it."
The doc says, puzzled, "Then what do you want me to do?"
"Change the batteries, please."
#####
Two ferocious cannibal chiefs sat licking their fingers after a large meal.
"Your wife makes a delicious roast, "The chief said.
"Thanks," his friend said. "I'm gonna miss her."
