THESE JOKES ARE REALLY SICK....IF YOU GET OFFENDED EASILY...STOP READING NOW!!
Grosser Than Gross!
If You Get Offended By Sexist, Crude, Rude
And Downright Disgusting Jokes,
THEN DO NOT READ.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
This guy was having sex with a young girl. He'd just started stroking in and out when she screamed. "What's wrong baby?" He asked, genuinely concerned. "I don't know," she answered, "It hurts a lot." "A lot? what do you mean a lot?" prompted the guy eager to finish the job at hand. "I don't know," replied the young girl, "every time you push it just hurts me." "Well maybe if you describe the pain, we can work out what's causing it." "Well Okay," said the girl, "Uhhm, the pain is excruciating." "Excruciating!" retorted the flabbergasted man, "Where the fuck does a six year old girl learn a word like excruciating!!?"
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Dear Abby,
I've been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now and I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can't remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do?
Lovelorn, Portland, OR
Dear Lovelorn:
If she coughs up a lot of phlegm and blood, fuck her.
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Singa song of syphilis,a fanny fulla crabs
Four and twenty blackheads, twice as many scabs
When the scabs pop open, heads began to sing
Wasn't that a dirty cunt, to stick your penis in.
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My young son asked me what happens after we die.
I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies.
I guess I should have told him the truth, that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally while demons rip the rotting flesh from our bodies, but I didn't want to upset him.
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A man is at the dentist's for a check-up. As the dentist leans over, he asks, "Well... So you had oral sex this morning?" "How did you know?" asks the man, embarrassed but also amazed at his dentist's perception. "Was it the smell on my breath?" "No" says the dentist. "Well, did you see a pubic hair caught in my teeth?" asks the man. "No" says the dentist. "Well, what then? How did you know?" asks the man, losing patience. The dentist says "There's a little bit of shit on the end of your nose."
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