Cool Shorties
The first year student had just gotten a beat up old
VW beetle from his parents.
He took it for a spin but misjudged the curve and
overturned the car directly between the house of Mr.
and Mrs. Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Balls
... luckily, he was pulled out by the Smiths.
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A person of most any nation
If afflicted with bad constipation,
Can shove a cuirass
Up the crack of his ass,
But it isn't a pleasing sensation.
Leaving the seat down may be sweet,
But it means that I soak the seat,
I would be really great,
If I could pee straight,
But most times I just wet my feet.
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater,
knew a chick, but wouldn't eat her;
met her brother, one fine day,
he sucked his cock,
and now he's gay!!!
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Q: Why do Jewish girls have gold diaphragms?
A: So they can tell their fathers that their boyfriends are cumming into money!
The essence of marketing is about a blow job. Promise a guy a blow job
and you can sell him anything.
Q: Why did God give women multiple orgasms?
A: So they can fucking moan when they're happy, too.
Q: Did you hear about the diner that promotes safe sex?
A: They write the bill on a condom. In that way you can wine and dine your date, and stick her with the bill.
Jack was nimble,but Jack was quick.
So Jill preferred the candlestick!
How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Since I've been depressed I've completely lost the urge to masturbate.
I guess I just haven't been feeling myself lately
How does a blonde turn on the air conditioner after sex?
She turns the ignition key.
Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn?
She woke up with a kernel between her legs.
~~~~~~
A notable gynecologist once said, "The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
"It is only a pity that the management system is so damn temperamental."
