A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ each -- three for a dollar."
All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"
Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants.
The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"
"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things.
Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.
On the cover of a women's magazine, I saw the title: "Men's Secret Fear About Their Working Wives." I decided to get a first-hand account. I asked my ex, "What's your innermost fear about my working?"
What did he say?
He said, "That you'll quit.”
Don't Touch My Car:
I was bullied at school and called all kinds of different names.
One day I turned to my bullies and said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."
It worked! From then on, it was sticks and stones all the way!
The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right down to the youngest baby.
"When we had just four children, I dressed them alike so we wouldn't lose any of them."
"Now," she added, looking around at her brood of nine, "I dress them alike so we won't pick up any that don't belong to us.”
