Always remember these five important rules when asking a man
to do something:
1. Make sure the man is conscious.
1a. Then give him a Blow Job
2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage
with the sports section.
3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three, or
four hours, max.
3b. Then ... give him a Blow Job
4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. A blow job will
usually do just fine. Or, offer to cook him something
that doesn't have a peel-back cover.
5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his
remote on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and
microwave again for another 35 minutes. Or, threaten to
not give him a blow job.
6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd better" or
"do as I say and no one will get hurt".
7. When all else fails ... Blow Job.
OK, seven rules.
How to Piss Off A Woman
Tie her to the bed, describe all the erotic things you plan to do. Then go bowling.
Ask her how she prepared a meal. If she wants to know why you want to know, say "So I don't make the same mistakes."
Tell her YOU have a headache, but you're willing to suffer with it through sex just to please her.
Imitate her having an orgasm while dining out.
Fake your own orgasm while dining out.
Tell her you've applied for the position of blowjob inspector at the nearest whorehouse.
After sex tell her the doctor assured you it isn't contagious. Then faint.
