1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bea n: Yesss!!!
(jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bea n: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bea n: Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bea n: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bea n: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bea n: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bea n: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bea n: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bea n: four asterisks (****)!
5) Marriage:
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bea n: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bea n: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.
6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bea n: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bea n: Head Cleaner.
7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bea n:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes)
Mr. Bea n cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bea n: my sister just called, her mom died too!
8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bea n: That's alright, me too..
I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bea n: That's alright, me too..
I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
9) Spelling lesson:
Mr. Bea n's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bea n: Make it three c to be sure!
