The Confessional
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following
conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a
wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren,
and great grandchildren. Last month, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with
each of them three times. Now they tell me that they are
both pregnant."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins? "
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody."
11111
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a
stiff
one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And, how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and
knees.
"Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
11111
Mary comes home from her date with Tom and is on cloud nine. She happily
tears off her clothes, tosses them all around the room jumps into bed
and falls fast asleep. The next morning her mom comes in and wakes Mary
up and says, " How was your date last night?"
"It was alright, I guess."
"It must have been a lot better than that," says mom, " Your panties are
still stuck to the ceiling."
